Balla

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So I have had two fills and am feeling great! I started feeling frustrated for a while but since my last fill, things have been going well! Down 42 lbs so far :) 120lbs is my goal and now I have less then 80 which is really exciting. I am border line about weather I want another fill just yet. I got my last 2 cc's one week ago and it seems like I am at a sweet spot but possibly could use just a little more. I think as long as I am loosing I will stay as I am. I started back at the gym last week which was great but I haven't been back since. That being said its been beautiful so everyday i have been doing some form of activity outside! I hope by Christmas to be down 25lbs. more! Can't wait!

Started feeling frustrated but doing better! Down to 258 lbs (32) now and finally seeing the difference in myself. It def motivates me to keep on track! Can't wait to hit the 225 mark! That is the lowest that I had gotten before when dieting.

Keeping my head up :)

EEEkkk. So its been just over a week! And it sucked lol. It really wasn't that bad but with Canada Celebrations and birthday parties etc my stress level went crazy. But I did loose 9lbs! For some reason though I haven't lost anything in the last couple of days. I assume it is because I went from clear liquids to full and I quit smoking 10 days ago and that would slow my metabalisim!  I just have to remember tomorrow is a new day and I will just have to keep it up! Maybe the right switch just hasn't moved yet :)

OK , well I hit my pre-op  and passed it by 2 pounds. I was 275lbs when I went in for my lapband on Friday! I am still quite tired and gasey!!!! But at work! I am glad I work for a family company and I have support around me while at work or else I would have needed a few more days for sure. All incesion points feel great its mostly the gas! I cannot begin to explain the sensations it gives. So weird that it settles in the left sholder for some and that is where mine is. But overall not bad. I have been kinda pushing things so its to be expected. On Saturday after my late Friday surgery I was to be picked up at the medical center at 645am, We traveled by cab back to the hotel and slept for a few hours then around 10 got up when out for some food ie liquids lol went back and sat around for an hour or so and then off to the Eaton Center shopping and to the airport to catch our flight back to NS from Toronto at 7pm. So I only had tylenol and gasx on Saturday for fear of being too dopey to get around after being kicked out of the hotel lol.
As soon as I was home on Sat night around 11pm I finally had some demerol and gravel (melted in tea) and off to bed.(THis was of course after I cried about the pain I was in to my husband and asked WTF did I do this) I didn't wake up until around 7am. After that I basically woke up every four hours or so walked around a bit, made lunch supper for my daughter etc etc and took some more demorol/graval and back to sleep.
It was very frustrating getting the pills down! But I found the best way was to melt them in a small amount of liquid and my the time I could get it into me I was falling asleep where ever I was.
Any up and at em this morning. My husband was great and getting our daughter ready and taking her to daycare, giving me extra time to have my first shower in three days and get myself ready. Unfotunatlly after my shower I was so drained I feel back asleep on my bed for two hours.
Thank god my dad loves me and is my boss. I was at work shortly after and it was ok. I have now been at work for shorlty over two hours and it feels like two days but other then feeling tired and out of sorts I feel good!
Looking forward to the rest of my journey!
I cannot express how important having support thoughout is important!~ and how lucky I have been so far with this!

I had a horrible day yesterday mentally! My aunt had been hospitalized on Friday after having a heart attack, they gave my mother in law less then a month to live and are having a hard time finding care for her to go home & we had a external safety aduit at work. I felt like it finally all caught up with me and was sick of salads (my pre-op consists of this). So I had a salad but also a hot dog and weighed myself when I got home. IT SHOWED I WENT UP A POUND!! I freaked out and ate some peanuts also. Then a few hours later after reading a book and calming down I took off my clothes (which I normally do when weighing my self) and the scale gave a better reading of being down an actual pound! So I had been soo wound up that I over reaacted. This made me feel soooo much better. I am now excited to head to Toronto tomorrow afternoon for my surgery on Friday just slightly worried about the workers strike and garbage flow! oh well can't control it so no need to worry about it!
THinking of everyone around me, wishing I could help more!
<3Balla
xoxox

I figured I should put my goals in writing! Although I recieved a binder with my pre-op plan that has a place for all of this, it would be nice to have it all in one place :) So here goes.....
Pre Pre-op I was 290lbs
After Pre-op I would like to loose 13 lbs that would leave me at 277lbs
20 days post op I would like to loose 6 more lbs to leave me at 271lbs
My true goal is 165 & I plan to make it there by my first year anniversary! :)
There I said it now to reach them!
As of today 8days into my pre-op I have lost 8 pounds! I have 5 more to lose in 5 days!
Good Luck to me & all of the others working at their goals and/or maintaining! :)

I am filled with so many emotions right now that I can't even begin to decribe them! I have surgery one week from tomorrow! I have done well so far with the pre-op as far as eating goes. I have slightly deveaited with a chocolate bar and chili salad instead of chicken but other then that I am 6/7lbs down in six days!  I am not doing so well with the smoking but I talked to my nurse a couple days ago and she agreed that with everything that is happening in my life stressing about something else is not going to be helpful, just to try to keep it to a minimum and I only usually have a couple a day so I have given up on stressing about it.
I am not sure if I have mentioned in this bolg that my mother inlaw was hospitalized on Sunday. She has been battleing brain cancer for eight months. It was one week to the day that her mother passed away so its been a very sad week. Her an I have butt heads a few times but overall she has gone above and beyond for myself and our family. Everything she did, even if overwhelming sometimes had good intentions! She would do anything to help anyone and its so hard to watch her failing and not be able to help in any way. I have tried to provide the most support that I can to the rest of the family including my father inlaw. I hope everyone can be so lucky to have someone that loves them as much as he does her!
I worry about leaving to travel for my surgery when the family is in such a position but hopefully since I am only gone for three days that I can be in and out before any notices I am gone.
I have kept this surgery a secret from most. My parents, husband and two friends know and they have been greatly supportive. I don't feel that it is anyone else's business and don't feel the need to explain to them my position but its going to be hard for my husbands family to understand why I am going to travel at a time like this :(
Thanks to this blog for letting me vent!
xoxo
Balla

So, I'm really finding it hard mentally. With so much going on around me, eating on the pre op and not smoking is hard. I feel like giving in to the smoking but I try to remember that I am quiting for a reason. Not because someone told me what "might" happen to me some day, but because I know what won't happen after my surgery if I continue ie healing quicker, less chance of complications etc. I know after  couple of days I will feel so good some free and eating well that I will not want the smokes again. Its just going to take a couple days and I should be less tense!
PS I love this blog, it helps me vent......

Oh there seems to always be so much going on in my life. I am totally overwhelmed right now. My mother inlaw has been battleing brain cancer for over eight months (which is amazing since they originally only gave her 4-6 months to live) but her mother (who was diagnosed with lung cancer three months ago) passed away on Sunday. On top of that my daughter had some issues at daycare early this week. I feel really bad but I start my pre op tomorrow and really need to focus on myself. I made a promise to myself to follow doctors orders to a t so that I can make the most of this surgery!
BALANCE
is my moto! Although I have yet to reach it, I believe the key to happiness is to ensure you have balance in your life work, food, love, etc. If you know have to keep a good amount of everything in your life I believe you will be happy so tonight I am going to ensure I am there for my daughters swim lesson, then I will be there for the family at the wake & then I will take time for myself to get the food needed for the pre op and take the time to take some pictures of myself!

Excited, Scared, Sad, Mad its all going through my head right now!

Oh My! I am so overwhelmed.....my mind is racing like crazy. The mixture of emotions is unreal. I am worried about how the pre & post op diet are going to make me feel (i.e. cranky, sleepy etc) My family supports me on this 100% and I worry about taking my anxiety out on them.
PS I love this blog and being able to vent!!