Blondie69

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Well I seem to be all liquid out at this point, and damn hungry... I am fine all day in the office, but I find it hard when I come home to cook for the family, I have to do something about that... hell if I cant eat, then nobody eats... humm only if that would work... haha but, maybe they can make their own dinner for a while... I also am craving all those yummy fast food commercials from the TV which is making me not want to watch TV... I am also tired, I think mentally I have associated eating with getting energy, so for some darn reason I just cant motivate to move to exercise... uuuughhh I just want to barry my head in covers and hope to fall asleep to another newer day I can drink some more liquids.... water in, and damn water out! Yuck, I hate having to always be in the bathroom, especially at work... yes I am moving in to a stall these days people... I noticed as a couple days have past, I seem to be getting fuller faster.. I weighed myself this morning for the first time - I never like to weigh myself and I lost 9 pounds... hummm that put a smile on my face... I am so logged down with liquid... and I am getting nervous on this operation coming, my biggest fear, they open you up and find something that you dont want them to find, then they have to close you up and give you a time line of how much life you have... haha, I think I have scene one to many movies, but its one of my biggest fears... Or how about you do all of this, loose the weight and then bammmm you gain it all back... woooo whooo now thats scary.... I have only told a few close friends, and they seem to not seem to support me, because I see some jealous or mixed emotions, like I am cheating to loose weight or something... Its crazy, I can just imagine how you loose weight and you will loose friends, and some people who would never be your friend wants to get to know ya...  so totally a mind drama games, I thought I was out of high school... But anyways, I am hanging in there and crossing off my days, this has been a total trip getting here.... Thanks for letting me vent... until next time....

Hey, Blondie here.....  I am new at this, but here I go... So many mixed emotions going on here, but I have been striving to do this for a couple of months... And now, its here..woooo weee --> I started my pre-op diet today, a 4 week diet full of tons of fun with a big tummy VSG bang at the end, haha...But lets be real here, I just cant get used to these protein shakes... the more protein in them... blahhhh... the less sugar... blahhhhh, how do you do it???   If anyone has suggestions on the chocolate flavor ones that have a better taste?  Just give me a hollar... oh and tell me where to buy them at a cheaper price... woooshhh they are not cheap.... I know we are to eat to live, and not to live to eat... but my hungry tummy says differ... My biggest thing is I find comfort in eating, and love to feed people too... the more food you eat the better it was or the healthier you are, but then you become fat and issues after issues and I just don't need any issues... My doc told me last May 2011 that I am becoming diabetic and I was monitoring my sugar  number just rise to any food I eat, that is when I started meds "Janumet" for that sugar number to come down... ughhhh all the docs seem to just believe in is a pill... not me... I want better!! I want control over my body again that is what I hope to accomplish through this whole process... Amen... So that's when I started doing all this research and figuring out just what is best for me... I first was thinking of getting the lap band, but I felt a port hole that they sew under the skin next to the ribs on a skinny women, and it felt like a door bell, just gave me the heeby geebies... ding dong Avon lady! lol nahhhh not to offend any others who may believe in the lap bands, but I just cant imagine having a foreign object embedded in my body, and doing my research, the insurance companies are not caring to take them out unless there is a problem with them... imagine that, you have to have them to freak up on ya to get them suckers out... wow, freaked me out totally, blew me away on that... hummm which is why I choose the VSG procedure. I know its so much more drastic and a bit more riskier, but my medical health has become drastic and out weights the odds to do this... which is even a scarier thought that blows my mind also... how bad it has become to just cut up your stomach to make it smaller so you can eat less... now that's freaky, but this feels like my last chance to live life at a much more better quality... I kinda wish I could have had this done when I was younger... that I had to be at my worst to get this!!! uuuughhhhh horrible thought, but hey I hear that the 40's are the new 20's now... giggle giggle... Well, it will be for me... This is all I have wanted, to be more fit and have much more energy to life... woooo whoooo.... but darn I know I have a long, long way to go... uuuughhhhh, but I am going to push myself to meet my goals and love that person again in the mirror, well love her even more when I can see her... lol.. I am dieing to cross my legs... as silly as that sounds, I just cant wait to do that, I miss that...  Ok, So enough for today... I am signing out... but anyone who has their lap tops or pc up and running hit me up, and in hopes to meet some cool people who tooo have some interests as I do in wanting to find them self again!  So this is the beginning....  ONE MONTH COUNT DOWN... WOOOO WHOOO...