Almost a year..

Jun 25, 2010

Here I sit.. teetering between 172-175lbs.
I'm a size 8/10 on the bottom.
I'm a S/M on top.

The first 6 months of this surgery, I was a workout and carb nazi. You guys saw my posts... I flame people for doing bad things.... I was a gym bunny.. who was doing 900-1200 calories of working out per day....

In months , 4 ,5 ,6.. I lost virtually NOTHING....

Month 7.. .I decided my marriage was over.... Month 8, 9, 10.. I dropped 9lbs each....

I do not watch what I eat. I do not count anymore. I take my vitamins.... I make sure I don't feel dehydrated. I work out 3-5 times per week.. and its usually just cardio, squats, ab work....

A typical day for me is waking up to a breakfast taco from the tacqueria....  some kind of chicken something for lunch... some kind of cheese and crackers... then a shake at dinner...

I have ice cream.. Once or twice per week the new boyfriend buys me a blizzard from Dairy Queen.. I eat 1/4th of it...

Once or twice per week I have a donut from the bakery... or a turnover.

I'm here to tell you... the emotional issues were the biggest thing for me. My marriage was the DEATH of me...  Getting out of that marriage was so important...

and now that I'm in a healthier relationship.. I'm discovering that there are other underlying issues... I used to self injure when I was a child... my marriage was another form of self injury.. being with someone who gas lighted me..... now I'm discovering that I'm in a happy relationship and I gas light myself...

There are so many things we battle as "little fat girls" that extend beyond the food and the exercise....  the PCOS played a big part of it.... but once I got to a place where the metformin wasn't needed really to regulate my glucose... I couldn't blame that...

I've had to make me a better person.... It's just had to happen....

But yea.. There's my update. Almost a year out... 100lbs down.... Amazing happy relationship with my wrestler/professor....  I'm a "stepmom" sorta now.. my house in Houston sets empty... and I'm finding myself... there are issues there that I never, ever addressed. Or would admit I had.




(Max Muscles and I)

2 Comments