Debbie M.

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Well I made it through my surgery. Was a MUCH tougher surgery than I thought it would be. But I had to be taken back in and re-opened up and fix a bleeder when I started bleeding into my drains. Huge Bummer. I had to have 2 units of blood, an IV iron infusion and stay 5 days instead of one. BUT..... I have been home since Friday and feel better everyday. Am really having little trouble getting up and around and the best part was today I went back to my surgeons office and he took off my binder and all my bandages and had me stand in front of a full length mirror and I almost cried. It was so so different and so so much better. All the hanging skin, gone. A waist I didn't know I had and at least 3 inches of hanging skin from my upper arms, gone. It showed me why I did this. I saw a "normal" looking girl in the mirror. I look so forward to being 100% so I can enjoy it all and in the mean time I anxiously await the swelling going down so it will be even better.

Wow it has been a really really long time since I updated my journal. Why? I wonder why something I have enjoyed doing for so long I would just stop? I started working day shift this past Sept. 1st and after two years on nights, it was quite an adjustment.  I love the day shift, being home at night and on the same shift as the rest of the world, but I have to say in some weird way I kinda miss the night shift too. I sorta lived in my own world and sometimes I miss the "Debbie" time. Being home every morning I had time for doctor appts. hair appointments, or whatever and now, I have to try to work them in or take off work, etc. There are definately trade offs. But I do enjoy my job. Kinda stressful this time of year, as I work for  Coors Beer co. and with Christmas and especially New Years, we have been so very busy.

I have also really slipped on the protein and vitamins thing. And the result is about a 15 pound weight gain. This is my new years resolution, that I get that back off. I am not going to use the diet word, it never worked in the past, and it won't work now. I know what I need to do, I just have to get my butt in gear and make those better decisions and choices. Wish me luck. I am going to post here my efforts and results to keep my accountable if only to myself.

And now the bit of bummer news that we received this holiday season. About 3 days before Christmas, we found out my sister had kidney cancer. She has a malignant tumor on one kidney and will of course need surgery and then the "follow up". What kind and how much will be determined after they get the tumor out. Right now they are living an insurance nightmare trying to get this all covered.  Please pray for her and her family. She is only 46 and has two teenagers.

Happy New Year!

Twenty years ago…

Today, twenty years ago, my life changed forever. It was a day of good bye to someone who I thought I would have in my life for many many more years than I did. This person was my daddy and even though it has been twenty years, I still miss him all the time.

He was one half of the duo who gave me life, and raised me to be the lady I am today. He taught me values, ethics, and all that good stuff a parent is supposed to teach their children. I remember once being upset about something (I don’t remember what) but I said to him that I was embarrassed at how I handled the situation. He told me to learn from this, to always live life so you never have to look back and be embarrassed by your actions. At the moment, I probably didn’t take a lot of comfort in that comment, but looking back now, I think “what wisdom”.

Family was everything to him. All his family, as well as Mom’s family. There was no difference in his eyes.

Daddy was a hard worker. I have no memories of him ever not taking care of his family. He was always employed, worked long hours, worked on our cars to keep them in top running shape, kept the yard mowed, landscaped, etc. He always took pride in what ever he did. Many a time when we would be leaving on vacation, he would have to mow the yard first then a quick shower and hit the road. It never ever occurred to him to let the yard go just this once. He wasn’t obsessed with yard work, just pride in the appearance of his home.

Later when I had my own home he worked so much helping me with my own home. He was such a devoted Papa to his grandson. You would have thought no one else in the world had a grandson except him. Daddy, you never saw them on this earth, but you have three other grandkids after you were gone. I know you see them from heaven, and someday I know we will have a great reunion.

Memories I will never forget have to include Sat. nights “Dominoes and Donuts.” Daddy would bring home a box of donuts and have family over for dominoes. I learned to play as a youngster watching them and other family play and the fun and fellowship time together is something we continue as often as we can. (But we had to give up the donuts daddy, too fattening!) I know as sure as sure can be that daddy and uncle Don, and uncle Bobby, along with uncle O and Jack have regular domino nights. How I would love to stand and watch the legends of the game playing together like old times.

I could go on and on with special memories, and I try to keep his memory alive for Brandon who really doesn’t remember his Papa. But no one loved him more and I want him to always know that. So Daddy, I miss you, love you, and if God leaves me here twenty more years without you, I will be ok, and that will make our reunion day all the sweeter.  Hugs and Kisses!

Debbie

Very proud of this!  Happy May Day everyone!

Well went last Monday and had my Stress Echo. The cardiac nurse who did the test was so good. She put me at ease the minute I walked in. As she was putting all the electodes on me I asked her "how do you know which color goes on which pad and she said " well I have been doing this for over 12 years, and could do it in my sleep." That made me feel good, (experienced person not rookie) so she does the sonagram of my heart and explains everything she sees how it all works etc. I felt so at peace and was fascinated  with all they see! So I did the treadmill and was able to go the entire distance and top speed and the test showed absolutely nothing wrong. Then she repeated the EKG and it was normal. The thinking is that the tech/nurse who did the previous one just made a mistake possibly in putting on the electrode thingy's. But now I know and feel good about the whole thing. BUT>>> the funny thing that happened is while we were waiting for my heart to slow for the second EKG, the nurse (VICKIE is her name) asked me if I had lost alot of weight recently. I told her yes, that I had gastric bypass in July 05 and had lost about 200 lbs. I joked "what gave it away, all the loose skin??" She said that she too had had gastric bypass in Dec. 05 and guess what? We used the same surgeon! So we had a great time talking and hopefully she can join in our support group I go to on Sat. mornings since she too can't make the Wed. night one.  Just a good day all around.  Now if it would just warm up outside. It is April you know!

Happy Easter everyone!

It is actually freezing in Texas in April on easter! And Snow! Oh yes I said Snow. It is crazy. But kinda fun. I went to my PCP a couple of weeks ago and had my normal just check up (documenting those rashes for hopeful plastics approval) But had an EKG and showed some abnormal heart something or other and I am having a stress echo tomorrow. So kinda stressed about that. Hope and pray that it is nothing and I can get on with my life. I was feeling great when I went in and got hit with this.....I'll post and let you know ......if anyone is reading this.

I read this poem on this board somewhere and I had to copy it as it is so much my story. I am however not the author, and although I thought I had written that down too, I can't find my notes. But for the sake of my story and how I identify, I had to post it.

The Woman In The Mirror

Walking past the mirrored glass,
I take a timid peek.
I see a woman staring back,
I’m too choked up to speak.

The puffiness, at last, is gone,
The skin is pink and glowing,
The many pounds that melted off,
Finally is showing.
Hard to believe, till recently,
This same woman was dying,
Stuffing food to ease the pain,
Heartbroken and crying.

Life revolved around each snack,
She lived for every meal,
Anything to numb the hurt,
She didn’t want to feel.
When did she get so pretty?
When did God remove the grief?
How did this miracle happen?
Who provided the relief?

What a gift! A second chance!
I thank God every day,
For His grace in showing me,
There IS a better way.

I walk, I dance, I make love too,
My heart is filled with gladness.
I’m out of bondage, out of pain,
There is no room for sadness.

This woman in the mirror,
Smiles softly back at me,
She has good cause to be so pleased,
She’s finally been set free.

Well, it been weeks since I checked in on my own profile. Seems when you stop losing, you have nothing to post here. I am still at my 202 pound loss. I keep losing the same 2-3 pounds back and forth, but no more weight loss. However I am really happy with where I am at size wise, at a 10 pants and a med top. I have become a shopaholic though. I can't really afford to feed the addiction like I would like, but sometimes I just like to go to stores and try on stuff and see what looks good or how it fits. I think this may be something normal size girls have done for years, but I never did. I would pick a few things in my size and what ever fit the best is what I bought. Never mind what it looked like or was in style or  cute, but did it fit and did it hide my fat as best as possible.

So now I love clothes and I am living and longing for a tummy tuck, and bat wing removal. Yep the girls could use a lift too, but I know my lottrey ticket didn't hit this week. LOL So I am enjoying life again, I love to walk and that is so funny as I HATED walking anywhere when I was so heavy. The pain and shortness of breath was terrible. If I never lose another pound or get any skin removed, I feel so successful and happy. I hope any one who has just started on this journey, please stay the course, stick to your program, and know that the payoff is just down the road, and it is good!!  Thanks for reading!

Someone sent me this in email and I love what it says. I could use all of this for 2007! So here's hoping.

My Wish for You in 2007

May peace break into your house and may thieves come to steal your debts. May the pockets of your jeans become a magnet for  $100 bills. May love stick to your face like Vaseline and may laughter assault your lips! May your clothes smell of success and may happiness slap you across the face and may your tears be that of joy. May the problems you had, forget your home address! In simple words ............

May 2007 be the best year of your life!!!

Just wanted to start off the new year with a post, wishing everyone a very Happy New Year. Can't wait to see what is around the corner for 2007.