indykitty

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Well, mostly I hang out on the Bariatric TV forum so I haven't been around much. In the last year my weight has been up and down around 23 pounds from my low in July of 162.4 to my high of just over 185. This morning was 169.4 after 5 days of 'clean eating' we will call it... the gain was mostly fluid but it's been a rough year emotionally - both good and bad events making me crave and eat  the so-called 'forbidden foods'. Truthfully, I don't think anything should be forbidden if you can moderate it.  If you can't then you're like the good old alcoholic in AA and then you should probably abstain, but we are human and we shouldn't limit our experience by saying I'll never have a cookie again as long as I live. What a rotten life if you really enjoy cookies. But on the other hand having a cookie the size of my head every day - will make me sick and then a cookie won't be special either. Had a lot of bad hypoglycemia attacks this past year - so I know a cookie the size of my head is a bad idea for me - even if I ate my protein before and after... I'm lucky - I was driving home with my last really bad bad attack. I am thankful to God I did not damage anyone or anything.  Live and learn.... if you're gonna do it- do it at HOME or have someone else as a designated driver. Hope everyone is doing well.  I started my journey at 322. Lost down to 285 before surgery and have bounced between 165 and 176 most of the past year. I wanted to get to 150, but this is still a win in my book - thus far. Life is a journey.  Take care of yourselves.

And... no real weight loss although my calories have been impeccible. But, I CAN feel restriction, so I know it's not "broken"... It's still there and it works, but my body seems to be really recalcitrant about giving up any more weight and that stinks.  I am getting plenty of protein, plenty of water, and moderate exercise... I have fibromyalgia, so I'm not great at workouts, but I am moving consistently.  I don't think I can cut my calories any lower and not feel like I'm starving.  I really wish I'd been one of those people that just doesn't feel hungry any more. 

Just when I think I am doing so well, something will come along and trip me up and then I'm a mess.  I ate crappy non-nutritional food today as we had our monthly pitch in at work.  Normally, I am content with some veggies or some such, but today I made bad choices.  Well, now I just have to live through the dumping and start over.  Not waiting until some nefarious undetermined time in the future to start over is key to not regressing into the 300 plus pound lump of misery I had let myself become.  I am stronger than that. I am worthy more than that.  Oh, but sometimes it is so very, very hard to be strong and I just want to be comforted and hide away from the world for awhile.  One step at a time... one day at a time... one hour at a time, if necessary.  Can you relate?

My DH and I really had a pretty good time at our first OH event in Cincinnati.  The best part for me was getting to meet some of my online friends.  It was really awesome and the sessions we got to were cool, too, although I wanted to see more of the plastics session, but it was disrupted by being moved and starting late, so it was cut off before it was finished.  The folks there were all exceptional.  I hope we can attend more in the future. 

Okay, so yesterday morning I weighed and it was 174.4 and this morning I weighed and it's 177.7.  Last night it was 180.  I had some salt yesterday, but not tons... I am not sure what my body is up to. I was so happy to see the numbers go down, but the bouncing back up is driving me crazy.  Since about 6 months out I noticed that periodically my weight would bounce up and down about 4 pounds.  I have no idea what is going on.  If I eat something carby it will bounce up 8 to 13 pounds, if it is a "bad" carb choice. I am not happy at my current weight, although, granted - I am happier than I was at the start of this journey by far. It's great to in the hundreds even if it is in the upper limits.  I am trying to stay the course, but some days are tougher than others.

Well, the scale moved a pound or two - not getting too overly excited just yet since it bounces up and down all the time by about 4 pounds or so, but my pinched nerve is much, MUCH, better thanks to a great chiropractor - Dr. Mike Williams in Indianapolis.  He does physical therapy and accupressure and accupuncture as well as nutritional counseling.  I am so relieved to have that issue at least resolved.

Meanwhile the infection is still draining, but now I know it was my body's bad reaction to dissolving stitches.  Yay!  Okay that was totally meant to be sarcastic. It's a lot less than it was, although still green, but it is healing again. 

I am so looking forward to the OH convention in Cincinnati.  I have a swimsuit, so I hope there is an open pool . 

Stress at work is killing me, and my husband is still unemployed, but I am hoping things are about to start looking up. 

Well, the nerve issue is a work in progress... chiropractor is great and the traction device is on order.  However, insurance limits chiropractic and does not pay for the traction device. 

Ulcer is better, but I had a small issue with my hernia repair - popped a stitch and developed some granularity and sloughing of tissue that required a roto-rooter and some silver nitrate and boy is that stuff nasty. It stings to high heaven and looks really nasty and oozes.  Soap and water do not wash it away in one or even three applications so it looks dirty, but I'm hoping it will do the trick.

My dad talked me into trying a new health product called ASEA. It is supposed to be a proprietary molecule in salt water solution that is supposed to help a myriad of things.  Can we say snake oil? Well, I'm game to try since he claims it is working for him and even clearing up his face.  If it works for me, I will peddle it.  If not... well, I've thrown a lot of money away on magic potions in my time.  Foolishness or optimism? I'm voting for optimism. 

I definitely have a nerve issue with my neck and will be getting physical therapy and an at home traction kit... whoo-hoo!  I also think I have a yeast infection in my navel post umbilical hernia repair... other than that I'm peachy.  Taking back off the water weight, but it is HARD folks.  HARD!!!  I hate it and I still have pounds to go before I make my self set goal.  Pray for me - wish me luck - send good karma, good wishes... good juju... and keep on fighting the good fight!

So far, so good... except I think I have a yeast problem from sweating in my belly button so it's irritated, but the surgery was 6/7 and it went really well although I felt sore and like crap for several days and now my pinched nerve in my neck is flared up to beat the band.   

I love my surgeon and if you're thinking about surgery in Carmel, IN, I highly... HIGHLY recommend Dr. RoseMarie Jones.  She's got an A+ all the way. 

The ulcer is quieted down now, but I'm eating bland foods and not pushing the envelope too much. No coffee or tea has been the hardest part.  I miss my caffeine and flavored coffees were my daily 'treat'. 

Well, I know I have a hernia near the umbilical area and now I may have an ulcer.  I ate some pineapple and man did I ever have the WORST pain.  Major nasty needed drugs and an ER visit kind of pain.  Wish me luck.