Jennifer M.

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Life is good.  No regrets!!   My only problem is not having clothes to wear!! 

I am down 41 pounds since July 1st and over 60lbs  since my journey began in Feb.  I feel great.  I have had a couple stalls and those are very frustrating but I get through them and drop 1-2lbs a day again.  I walk every day.  I go to the gym when I have time.  I went from a size 22/24 to a 14.   It really is frustrating when you feel soooo good about yourself and then you put on a sack for clothes to go out into the world.  I complain a lot and my husband says I should be happy my clothes dont fit.  I am happy but I want to look as good as a feel.  I havent been a 14 since junior high!!   I did start sewing the waistband of my stretchy clothes.  They look better and I dont have to use a hair scrunchie to hold them up!!!   My sewing machine and I are going to go through my closet today and get rid of lots of clothes, and sew the ones I can. 

Ok so probably TMI but sex is different now.  There is less cushion between me and my husband and it makes it feel like he has grown...if you get my drift.  Certain positions hurt...although his ego has boosted about 10 levels.  Sex is more fun and I feel like a teenager again.  I cant wait to meet some more of my goals.  We are going to Disneyland next month and I cant wait to experience that comfortably.  I will fit in the rides and seats like I should.  I will have more energy to walk around the park....maybe even run!! 

Well off to go clean out my closet.  Best wished to all of you who are getting ready for surgery or new.  This is an awesome journey...enjoy it. 

So I am 39lbs lighter since I started this journey and 19lbs lighter since surgery.  I can not see it in the mirror at all which is the most disappointing part.   I can feel it, my clothes are bigger but I really want to see it.  Even my wedding rings and grandmas ring I wear are almost too big!!  I want other people to see it.  Other then my close friends and family no one even knows I have had the surgery or says anything to me.  I see people I havent seen in months and nothing....that is depressing.  

I know it my head it will come.  I have a lot of comments, probably some negative coming my way but I am and have always been very impatient.  I went to the gym yesterday and did well.  I got on the treadmill for 30 mins and walked uphill.  I only walked about 3mph but it was good for the first time back.  I was afraid to get dizzy and be there with my kids alone.  I am just going to work my way back up to where I was prior to surgery. 

I am on solid foods now.  I have had eggs, ground turkey ( in meatloaf and burgers), cooked veggies, watermelon, and even a few bites of Cold Stone's fat free no sugar added ice cream....sooo good.  I am getting all my vitamins in but having a hard time swallowing so I ordered chewable. 

So my favorite lunch I will share.   I make a mix of equal parts fat free cream cheese, goat cheese and light Mayo ( I make a lot because my husband and kids love the mix too) I spread like a 1/4 tsp of the mix or less on a slice of deli turkey (my store sells sun dried tomato turkey) and then a 1/4 tsp of jellied cranberry and roll it up.  I eat one or two rolls for lunch....soooooo good if you like the turkey cranberry thing.  I used to love the sandwiches some shops made!!!   Once I can eat salad I will put a few spinach leaves or romaine lettuce in the rolls also.   My husband eats the mix in a tortilla with the turkey, sprouts, lettuce and sometimes sunflower seeds.  I think it is his new favorite also. 

What else can I say, I think I am doing well.  I have already experienced constipation, diarrhea, overeating (chicken salad) and feeling like something is stuck and I am definitely learning from my mistakes!!!   Boredome is hard on me and makes me want to snack still.  I had to tell my husband to stop asking me what he should eat.  He is trying to basically eat what I am and eat healthier in general but when he snacks all day and tells me he picked healthy choices it is like he is rubbing it in.  I know he isnt but after being asked if it would be better to have a popsicle or carrots, or a yogurt or nuts, or crackers or cheese I get tired of it.  He has since stoppped asking me and has actually become very aware of his own snacking.  I am glad he is sooo supportive of me.

Speaking of my husband he is a new man, doing more around the house, he is relaxed more and funny.  We are like teenagers dating.  Plus he can't keep his hands off me which I am definitely not complaining about!!!  Life is good and I just need to relax and be more patient I know. 

So I think I am doing well.  I have been walking, cleaning house lightly, my husband went back to work and left me alone with 2 small children!!!  I must be crazy or on my way to normal!!!

I have cheated a little on the full liquid/soft liquid diet.   I had a couple bites of mashed potatoes, cooked carrot and meatloaf (grilled) for dinner one night, I have been eating a little low fat turkey chili for lunch the last 2 days, it all settled well but I feel a little guilty skipping ahead.  I can have that stuff starting next wednesday but it tastes really good and keeps me full.  I started waking up hungry a few days ago.  I call it my angry pouch!!!   Anyways I am going to go back to shakes and soft foods today.

I have only lost 1lb in the last 2 days.  Down a total of 13lbs.  I know I shouldn't be dissapointed but I am. It was melting off me for the first week and now nothing.   I was in a huge slump of a mood yesterday and no idea why.  Don't know if is was because no weight change "high", or the food change, or just one of those days. 

My incisions are almost completely healed and ITCH so bad.  I still feel sore inside around my ribs and breastbone.  I chased my kid last night because he was about to beat his sister with a toy and when I grabbed him he colapsed.  That hurt me and I think I should stick to yelling instead!!!  I am going to drive today for the first time.  I have to take my daughter to a 3 hour dance recital, should be interesting!!!

So am I am still doing well, least I think so.  It is really weird to step on the scale and have lost 2lbs a day for the last 3 days.  It is unreal really.  I still am having gas pain issues.  I get dizzy from the liquid vicodin.  I can see why people become drug addicts after surgery, that stuff works quick and easy, like within 5 mins of taking it.  I am glad I hate the feeling. 

I got down an entire protein shake today, 10ozs with 2 scoops for a total of 50 grams of protein...this makes me proud.  It makes me feel very bloated for about 20 mins after each session (I do 5 oz over an hour, wait and do the other 5oz).  I also took a walk and went to the parade with my children.  I skipped a dance performance my daughter should have had today because of too far and too many people.  I went to a BBQ at my parents and ate some yogurt while they all had BBQ chicken, macaroni salad, corn on the cob, then ice cream.  Really the only think that bothered me was I wanted moms macaroni salad more then anything!!!  Weird I know. 

So I think I am going to skip fireworks tonight and just hang out.  I think it is time for more medicine but not looking forward to it.  Total of 8lbs since surgery gone forever!!!

I had my surgery the first and home the 2nd.  I am hurting but not from the incisions....it is the gas.  Nothing prepared me for the gas pain.  I was hurting so bad after surgery I was vomiting and they finally started me on a pump.  I demanded to get out of bed within 2 hours because I knew walking was the only thing that was going to help.  It made a world if difference just taking a 2 minute walk to the end of the hall and back.  I then started walking every hour and after just a couple times was making it around the 100 bed ward of the hospital.

The ride home sucked.  Traffic was bad and it took us 3 hours to go 60 miles.  I tried to sleep but it didn't work.  We did get out and walk around once during the trip.  Well I am going to try to go back to bed.   I needed to come take a couple bites of food and take some pain meds.  That is the easy part!!!  I will write more in a couple days when I feel better. 

So Wednesday is the start of my new life and it is coming up quick.  I just got home from a camping trip to Oregon.  I crashed my ATV pretty badly and I am hurting.  I think I bruised my ribs bad but I am going to tough my way through it.  Nothing is going to stop my surgery Wednesday.  I am a nurse and I know there isnt much I can do anyway.  I am practicing deep breathing and keeping myself moving. 

I need to read through my binder again and do a last shopping for me and to keep my family fed for at least a week.  My husband vows he is going to do his best to cook but I am going to try to make it simple. I have a job interview I have been waiting for scheduled for the 8th.  I am hoping to tough it out and make it.  I just hope I don't look like crap and they can tell something is wrong.  I can't miss this interview and again nothing is stopping my surgery.

So I probably have unrealistic expectations but I am hoping to only be in the hospital 1 night.  I hear most people stay 2 nights, but I only stayed one night after both c-sections and I am hoping to do the same with this.  I hate being the patient.  I hate being patient!!! 

So now I am going to go finish cleaning out the trailer from the trip, cleaning house and getting my life in order so I can have this wonderful surgery and start my exciting new life!!!

I started thinking about surgery just over 2 years ago.  I went through the process with one facility and just never got my shit together.  I never followed the plan, never did what I was supposed to.  I quit last year.

Then I got a job in am ambulance and let me tell you, being in a confined space with lots of people makes you very aware of just how large you are.  SOOOOOOO I decided to go in for a physical and asked for a re-referral to the bariatrics department. 

So that was in March, I had my orientation scheduled for early april and had to reschedule due to a broken tailbone.  Another good reason to lose weight...landing on a tailbone with 100lbs of extra weight probably contributed to an actual break which is apparently rare.  So I went to orientation the end of April and weighed in at 246 lbs.....the most I have ever seen on the scale although I am sure I have weighed more.   I got my binder and some good info and went home.   I actually started the pre-op stuff.   I started drinking more water, but stopped with meals.   I stopped going to starbucks and then stopped all caffine.   I start watching my portions, eating my protein first and chewing a lot more then I ever have. 

I got an appointment card in the mail to meet my surgeon the week after orientation.  Wow was this already faster.  I met Dr Le on May 14th and we briefly went over what I wanted (gastric bypass vs lapband) and my health.  I had already had a physcial, pap smear and some basic labs done so I apparently skipped a step.  WOOHOO things do go right!!!  Oh yeah and I was down 13 lbs!!!!  So we go to leave and he tells his assistant to put me on the surgery schedule.....wooooooo nelly.  He has a day open for June but I am scheduled to be in Oregon and I am not missing Oregon dunes.  So he tells me I will have to wait until July and that schedule is not even out yet.......panic mode.

Well I go home just to make the drive back first thing in the morning to meet with a phychologist...everything good cleared from him.  Damn I am a good liar!!!  just kidding.

A few days later I get 2 more appointments in the mail for a nutrition and lifestyle changes class June 1st...well at least I am still moving along. 

I get a call on May 27th saying the surgery schedule is out and would I like July 1st?  UMMMMM YEAH YES SURE OK WOOHOO.  wow back on cloud nine.  I am soooooo excited at this point.  Not only is this going quickly, but I am following the rules and I haven't been lost in the system.

So I go to my classes yesterday and they were really a waste of time.  Lots of stupid questions in my point of view and things they should have known if they read their binders.  Oh yes but I was now down 5 more lbs and I weighed in with my jacket and heavy shoes on....18lbs maybe more GONE. 

So I have a few things left, appoint and class about the operation and stuff which I hear is really good on the 16th.  I have my pre-op meeting with the physican June 30th and labs drawn.  Somewhere in there I need to go to a local facility and get an EKG and Chest xray done.  Then surgery July 1st......it will be here in no time.  I have so much planned between now and then, bday, kids out of school, vacation all well staying focused and motivated.