jowenm

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So easy to put the weight back on.. Need to get back on the wagon..

The years are flying bye-- but the weight is creeping back.. its scarey.. I have to get back on track. I've managed to get gout.. which severely effected my ability to go to the gym... its all snowballing and I am really not happy with this whole situation. To anyone contemplating this surgery..it's not a miracle.. its a tool If you dont use it correclty it wont work for you or at worse will hurt you.
The frustration with the diet due to the gout is insurmountable.. cut down on protein! that just doesnt work with this surgery. Well that's enough bitchin from me.

Okay- with all the hassle I had a month before my surgery
Genetic testing for blood clot predispostion, 
Vascular dr refusing to give me clearance, 
Hemotologist recommending I see a neurologist, 
Not wanting  to deal with drs FRESH outta med school in July.. 

I was having SERIOUS doubts..u know these were all signs "not to get the surgery". As I walked around in a daze - whether it was walking Jetta, or meandering at lunch in Jersey City. I noticed there were always 2 butterflies flitting around me...and at first I took it as a confirmation to CHANGE my mind.. butterflies change.. so I should change my mind and not get the surgery..  then all of a sudden it dawned on me.. butterflies dont change their minds.. they change their bodies.. so I took the sign a different way and since there were always 2 of them.. and I had lost 2 close family members .. I knew it was my father in law and my aunt telling me to do it and that everything was okay. I havent see the butterflies lately.. but I am glad they were there when I needed them!

Haven't had my follow up yet.. so can't report on how I am doing medically. But mentally I am doing great. Can't believe I waited SO long to do this. I have fallen off the wagon as far as the gym goes, but try to do the treadmill at least 3 x a week. Hair loss freaked me out for some time, was made worse by the damn shampoo I was using. Once I changed shampoos it lessened. Clothes are becoming an issue. I am down 90lbs and still cant decide what size I am. My legs are not losing as much as my butt and waist.. so I fit into a 14 waist, but the legs are stil 18. Cant wear skirts, cause I dont have a long coat.. UGH such problems. 
Went to first support group- noone else was post op. So I gave my best selling pitch to these folks who were there. I remember being them.. thinking scared.. I showed them my scars and everything. I will try to go every month since it helped me focus on where I was, and where I am and where I am going. I will try to update this more often. No promises though!

Realized I forgot to explain my surgical experience. 

Well I did not have much time to worry about it.. I slept FINE the night before. I only found out at 4:00 pm that I was approved for the surgery the next day. 
Doctor said my surgery went text book. I was in no pain ( I lied and said "2" just so they would not take my morphine away, cause when I had to use the bathroom , being 5'11" that toilet is WAYYYY down on the floor and that's when my pain came back. 

I went to my surgeon for my month check up - on 8/10. I have lost 10 pounds in the last 3 weeks. Started at 315- down to 280..Happy Happy me

My furbaby , Jetta, came back on Monday- she was at my parents while I healed and she doesnt like the my husband and I dont eat dinner together any more. We will at some point, but she keeps barking at me to go in the kitchen when my husband is eating.. it's hysterical. 

Well I wll keep you all posted on my progress .. and Thanks for the all the support .

Okay- 3 weeks ago today. I am having a tough time getting my protein in, and am trying my damndest with the fluid. My advice to anyone pre-surgery. QUIT THE CAFFEINE NOW. Having no caffeine is causing migranes which otherwise I am fine. I lost 25 lbs the first week, but then my body caught on- and I lost 3 pounds the next week. This week I am down 2 more. I have to expect this since the first week was 25 -- have to factor it out a bit. 

Had to get some blood work done.. to see if I genetically predisposed to blood clots.. the work take 5 days, had it done on Thursday 7/5- gonna be cutting it close.. SO frustrating.. 

I read all these posts about people who were sure they were gonna die if they didnt get this surgery, I guess I am more selfish that that? I dont feel like I am going to die- I have always been a 'fit fat' - but I want to FEEL  better and be able to LIVE a real life. Is that worth this risk?? I know this is just normal second thoughts.. but UGH. make them go away.

July 12th.. after much concern about 'foggy' areas on my catscan (fibroid tumors) everyone is finally happy!! Especially me!! Whoopeee....I am both excited and scared.. just like when my husband asked me to marry him.. and that turned out okay.. right.. I had to give up some stuff. but in the long run.. it was the best thing I could have done!

6/29- Surgeons office left message that my hematologist (Dr. F) noted I should see a neurologist.. One BIG problem here.. DR F didnt tell me. I know why.. he couldnt get a reflex reaction from my knee.. Hes got to be kidding me. I am SO CONCERNED with being in the hospital in July (new docs and all0 and this may delay it. The surgeons office has GOT to get me an appt if they deem it necessary. If they hit the hammer hard enough (as opposed to drs who dont know how to treat obese people) they will get a reflex and no need for a nuerologist..

I didnt realize I joined OH almost 4 years ago... that's how long I looked into this surgery thing. I am down to one doctors visit to go, then I get my date. I have such mixed emotions.