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 If I had known then what I know now...  each day is getting better - much better.  I thought I was going to lose everything but weight the few days I was at home immediately after the surgery.  I didn't know if I could ever eat, ever sit up, ever wipe my own ass.  WOW!  I remember thinking that I was never going to do a lot of things.
Now, here I am just shy of two weeks out, and I am getting a better handle on everything.  I can wipe my own ass!  That was exciting!  It happened at 3:33 am the other night!  I yelled out from glee and woke my family.  My five-year-old was not impressed, since she APPARENTLY has been doing this for years. Lol.  Anyway, it is getting better.
I am eating eggs, cream of wheat, a couple of chicken salad pureed to a pasty consistency, spoons of peanut butter, protein shakes, yogurt, and a couple of saltines.  It is not as bad as it was last week.  I had somewhere here that it wasn't the sweets that got them fat.  I completely agree!  Burger, french fries, crackers, bread, savory snacks... THOSE are the things that got me here.  I don't have a sweet tooth at all. If you left a bag of skittles in front of me for a week, you would come back to me the next week and there would be an unopened bag of skittles.  So, imagine my disgust when the first few things I could eat are all sweet-tasting.  Yuck!  SFpudding, SF jello, SFdrank, SF, SF, SF - for all the sugar free, it certainly left my taste buds under a sweet assault!  Last Saturday, I had my first egg - soft scrambled.  I cried with joy over the taste.  I tool 45 minutes to eat it, because I wasn't going to chance losing out to my first GOOD thing to eat.  Man, I even had another one for dinner!

So, my accomplishments are as follows:

1.  I can actually get enough liquids in because of insomnia.
2.  I can fart regularly now.  Yay!
3.  I can stand up and sit down without assistance.  I can even sit myself down without having to steady myself.  
4.  I actually look forward to my walks around my driveway.  In fact, today was my first restless day.  I have been itching to get          back to the world.
5.  I am finally watching my diabetes get more and more under control - it is even showing signs of leaving altogether.
6.  I AM WIPING MY OWN ASS WITH NO PROPS OR TOOLS! 

 Hello, everyone.  
I first want to tell you a bit about myself.  I am a mother to two beautiful daughters - 5 and 12.  I am a wife to a wonderful husband, and we have been married for 14 years or something like that.  I am working on my masters degree in cellular/molecular biology, and I have degrees in biology and history.  I am also a singer/songwriter/guitarist/pianist/trombonist.
Most importantly - I am a food addict.  I never believed it was me, but WOW it is me.  I would become very emotionally involved with my food, or I would turn to food when I was emotional.  I kind of suspected that I had the food addiction thing, but I didn't realize the gravity of the situation until a couple of days post-op...
I was extremely upset because I was in such pain.  I started crying uncontrollably, and the only thing that passed through my mind was that I would love to have a hamburger.  Wait!  What??  I am only on full liquids, in pain from WEIGHT LOSS SURGERY, and I wanted a hamburger to feel better?!?  I wasn't hungry at all.  I know I wasn't, but I still craved that burger.  It was then that I knew it was a full-blown addiction.  That was also the moment that I knew I had ZERO regret over having the surgery.  I believe that I saved my own life having this surgery.  I needed this "detox" and definitely need my "rehab" to learn different coping mechanisms.  
I do not know what hole I have been trying to fill with food - not trying to be funny, but you know what I mean.  I do know that I have a very addictive personality.  I smoked two packs a day for MANY years before stopping in 1997.  I could only stop bold turkey, because each time I weaned myself of cut back, I was worse than before.  Alcohol was on its way to becoming a bad problem until I decided that I wanted to live more than drink.  Hell, I even have been biting my nails since I was born.I recently stopped biting my right hand because I started playing my guitar more frequently for paying gigs...  I guess what I am saying is that I have always had some kind of vice or destructive behavior, and that food was my latest "bff"!  
I hope that while I take each day as it comes, and I overcome yet another addiction, I just might find what it is that I have been covering.  I also hope that I can share that journey here.  Maybe someone out there is going through the same, or are having struggles that I may be able to help with - who knows?  I love to write, and I do get a little crazy with my things, but maybe this can be therapeutic for all of us.

Well, I am off to another day on the loser's bench.  I hope to see all of you there!