Kimmie B.
08/2004 - I am a 34 year old mother of two. My son is 10 and my daughter 5. I have had high blood pressure since the birth of my daughter. I have just recently been diagnosed with high insulin levels which my pcp tells me is the first stage to Diabetes. I have been researching WLS for 2 years and my sister had Lap RNY in Sept. 2003. My family has a history of stroke, heart disease and diabetes and I am just afraid that if I don't get this weight off I will follow along in this path. I have already been to an information session from the surgeons office, I must now bring myself to call for the initial consultation appointment. I really want to have this surgery, but all the fears of complications keep setting me back. Also, my PCP keeps telling me that I just need to excersize and I will lose the weight. I am so frustrated with that, I faithfully went to curves for 1 1/2 years to only lose 18 lbs. Yeah that was productive. At that rate I will be 50 years old before I am at a healthy weight.
9/2/04 - Well I finally did it. I called Paula at Reading Surgical Center for my consultation appointment. I go on 9/20/04. I am soooo excited and a little scared. I know I need to do this for my health and my children. I just wish my friends would support me more. Well I will update after my appointment. God Bless all of you who are battling this terrible disease.
9/21/04 - I had my consultation with Paula at Reading Surgical Center yesterday. She is a wonderful person. I have the scripts for all the lab work and xrays I need to complete. They also set up the appointment for me to see the nutritionist and gave me the numbers to set up appointments with a Physical Therapist and the Psychologist. The worst part is I have to call my PCP for a referral for the lab work and I don't know that she will give me one. She has not been real supportive of my choice, she says I am just not working hard enough at losing weight. Hopefully she will do this for me and I can start the ball rolling. The bad part is my insurance is changing effective 1/1/05 so I can not schedule any surgery or the appointment with the surgeon until my new insurance is effective. Well I better get back to work, will update as I make the rounds of scheduled appointments.
10/1/04 - Can you say OUCH. Today I went for the wonderful adventures of the Abdominal Ultrasound, Chest X-Ray, EKG, ABG and all the labs required by my surgeon. Well when my family told me the ABG would hurt a little I think they lied. The woman at the lab was wonderful she just had trouble getting the needle into the artery. By the time it was over she was upset about having to hurt me. It wasn't too terribly bad except I do not like to have my blood drawn, I guess because my PCP makes me do it every 3 months. Well hopefully all will be well and they won't find anything that will require me going through more tests. Since my last update my sister (who had WLS Sept. 2003) has agreed to be my angel. Since her surgery we have kind of drifted apart hopefully with me going through this we will get our relationship back on track. I really miss our late night excursions to Wal-Mart. My next step is the consult with the nutritionist on 10/18.
10/7/04 - I wasn't going to update until I had my Nutrionist consult on 10/18 but I needed to get this information off my chest to help alleviate the anxious feeling I have. I have all my needed (so far)pre-op appointments scheduled. On 10/18 I see the nutritionist, on 11/9 I see the physical therapist and 11/22 I have my psych evaluation. All I need now is the appointment with the surgeon. The nurse coordinator told me to call her once I made the appointment with the physchologist so she can schedule me with the surgeon. Sorry if I am babbling I am just so excited. This is moving much faster than I thought it would. Unfortunately I can not meet with the surgeon or schedule my surgery until after 1/1/05 due to a new insurance taking affect. Well back to work I go - hopefully the doctor's office will call me back soon.
10/27/04 - OMG!! I am so excited. I just got off the phone with Paula at Dr. Bononni's office and I have scheduled my consult appointment with him for 12/10/04. I also go other news today my new insurance will be effective 12/1/04 instead of 1/1/05. Can you talk about a good day. I went to my nutritionist appointment on 10/18. Theresa is very nice. She actually did not yell at me when I told her some of the foods I LOVE to eat. She has a very detailed list of the things we must follow post op and gave me some things to work on before my surgery. She said if we have any questions at all to call her immediately she is available any time of the day. How nice is that!!! Well I better get back to work. I just had to share my excitement.
11/15/04 I haven't updated in a while since there was not much happening. I had my physical therapy consult. That was quite painless except I had to walk on a treadmill and wasn't prepared. I had on casual dress shoes that just slip on so my feet kept coming out of my shoes. Oh well my heart rate was good at the end so I guess I did okay. I went to the mandatory support group meeting that we must attend before surgery. I made my sister go along since she keeps coming up with excuses not to go (that is the nice thing about being the older sibling). It was very nice and informative. We talked to some very nice people. I am getting a little anxious regarding my meeting with the doctor. It seems like it is so far away, but yet it is only 3 weeks anymore. I am hoping I do not need to go for anymore tests before he will schedule surgery, but I will cross that bridge if I need too. My Psych appointment is next, 11/22/04. I don't think I will have any problems but you never know. I will update again after my next set of appointments. Hopefully I will have a surgery date scheduled soon!!
11/23/04 Hello all. Well yesterday was my Psych eval. It wasn't too terrible. I had a couple of papers to fill out and answer some questions on how I was feeling, but basically the doctor focused on the surgery. He asked questions about my support and my knowledge of the surgery. He told me I had a great sense of humor and he felt that would help me get through the hard times and that he was going to send a letter to Dr. Bonanni telling him I am a good candidate for the surgery. HOORAY!! My appointment with the surgeon was rescheduled to 12/4 instead of 12/10, so that appointment is next. After I meet Dr. Bonanni I only have to meet with my PCP. This appointment has me worried. I don't know if she will write the recommendation letter I need to submit to my insurance. I have mentioned the surgery to her in the past, but she told me we would discuss it as a last resort. Well to me I am at the last resort stage. I don't think I can try another diet. Hopefully I am worrying about this for nothing. I am hoping to be able to submit to my insurance before the end of the year. OH wouldn't that make a lovely new years gift to get my surgery date. I am getting so excited. The fears are now being overshadowed by the excitement. Well I guess that is enough babbling for today. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!
12/6/04 - I finally met Dr. Bonanni on Saturday. He was so very nice. He explained everything to me before I had the chance to ask any questions. I have to have one more test done before my surgery and that is an EGD. He said he doesn't think anything is wrong but because I have a history of heartburn he wants to make sure I don't have any ulcers. All my bloodwork was fine but my liver is fatty and my spleen is a little larger than normal. I thought for sure he was going to tell me I had to have open, but he said they will try lap and if he runs into problems he will just open me up. I am praying he doesn't have any problems since I can not afford to be out of work for six or so weeks. My time off will be without pay. My next step is to meet with my PCP and get her to write a letter of recommendation and get copies of my files for insurance approval. I have an appt with her on Wednesday of this week. Hopefully she will not give me a hard time. I also called my GYN and asked for them to fax copies of the diet they had me on in 1997. I know this is beyond the time limit, but it will at least prove that I have tried several doctor recommended diets and they didn't work. One bad thing from my appt on Saturday is that my insurance will only cover short limb RNY. Dr Bonanni explained the difference and he said that the long limb would definitely be better but the short limb will also work I will just have to work a little harder. I have been trying to drink protein drinks to get my protein levels up, but I have not yet found any that I can tolerate. Today I tried grape frost Isopure from GNC and it is nasty. I even tried mixing some Crystal Lite Lemonade mix to it, but I can't drink it. At least I only bought one bottle. Well I am off to try and drink more protein. Hopefully I will have my surgery date soon. I am soo excited. I am hoping for late January.
12/17/04 Hello all, well I had my appointment with my PCP. I was quite surprised. When she came in the examining room she said "I hear you have been visiting Dr. Bonnani". I thought she would give me the little lecture about losing weight on my own, but instead she congradulated me and said whatever she needed to do to get my insurance to approve she will help with. Another good note is I have been maintaining the same weight since my first appt with Dr. B's office. That was almost 3 months ago. Now I am just waiting for my PCP's office to send all the file copies to the surgeon and then it is wait time for approval. I have my appointment for my EGD, January 6th. I am a little scared of this, but I don't think anything bad will show up. I was hoping to have this test out of the way before Christmas but at least they didn't have to push it out a couple of months. I put a call in today to the surgeons office to see if they received all my paperwork to submit for approval. I have not heard back yet with an answer. I am hoping that they have everything the need and have or are ready to submit. I want my surgery now. I know how does it feel to want!! I just feel like this is taking forever and it has only been 2 weeks. From what I have been reading this is the normal time to get anxious. On a better note, yesterday I finished up all my major Christmas shopping. All I have to get anymore is stocking stuffers and gift cards which I always wait until Christmas Eve to get. This is the first time in years I have been finished shopping before Christmas Eve. Another big accomplishment is that I have half of the gifts wrapped already. Woo Hoo. Well I guess enough babbling for today. In case I don't update before the Holiday MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE!!!
1/7/05 - Hello All, well we are in the new year and things are moving along quite nicely. I had my EGD yesterday. No problems at all with the procedure. Dr. B did find I have some damage to the lining of my stomach but said not to worry it won't affect the surgery at all. Thank goodness. After my EGD I had to stop down with Jamie in Dr. B's office because she could not find the copy of my insurance card I had faxed in and LO and behold she was faxing all my information to the insurance company when I walked in the door. Now it is just a matter of time for the insurance company to approve or deny. Jamie was very optimistic she said I had met all the requirements and would call as soon as she heard anything. I am hoping for surgery either the end of January or no later than Mid February. I was very shocked yesterday, my husband waited on me hand and foot all day long. The only thing I had to get up for was to go potty. He is being so wonderful about this surgery. Well back to work I go. I will update again when I receive my surgery date. I am hoping that will be next week. TTFN!
1/7/05 - Well I get to update twice today. Can we say OMG!! I have been approved. My information was only sent yesterday morning and I have been approved already. Highmark Blue Shield is the best. I also have a surgery date. January 24, 2005. That is only 2 weeks away. So much to do and so little time. I am soooooooo excited. I don't think my boss is to happy at the moment but he will get over it. I know he is upset because he relies on me and is going to be frantic while I am out. I am hoping to be back to work in 2 weeks but we will cross that bridge when we come to it. Well I am off now to celebrate for the weekend. Have a good one everybody. HOORAY FOR ME!!!
1/11/05 - WOW, I can not believe how quickly everything is going now. I feel like it has taken forever to get to this point. I just got the list of the appointments I need to take care of before my surgery. My Pre-op with the surgeons assistant is Friday 1/14, then Tuesday 1/18 is my seminar with Paula (Program coordinator), the finally Wednesday 1/19 is pre admission testing. Then it is only 4 more days until surgery. My stomach is in knots right now, I am so nervous and excited. I can't believe this is actually going to happen. I just hope and pray that I will not have any complications. I have much faith in my surgeon and I have spoken to many people who have had the surgery with him. I must keep telling myself that all will be well. If only I can get the nerve to tell my best friend that I am having this surgery. When I mentioned it to her before she lectured me because she knows someone who's sister died 2 days after surgery from a blood clot. I guess I will just have to come out and tell her and if she doesn't support me then she wasn't a good friend at all.
1/21/05 - Only 2 1/2 more days until surgery. My nerves have calmed down and I am not freeking out as much. I am worried though because I don't have a will and am concerned if something unthinkable does happen. But I keep telling myself I will be fine. A lot of things have happened since I last posted. I had my final pre-op appt with Dr. Bonanni's assistant, I had my surgery review with the surgery coordinator and I had my pre admission testing. I also finally got up the courage to tell my best friend about my surgery. She does not believe in the surgery and has a friend whose sister passed away two days after her surgery due to a blood clot. She did not say much when I told her but has been asking a lot of questions since. She says she will support me. That has been a big load off my mind. I think telling her was harder than telling my parents. My mom had a heart to heart talk with me the other day. She told me that she loves me and will be here for me when I come home from the hospital. That made me feel good, my family is very close, but we are not very good at communicating our feelings to each other. I always know that they are there for me to turn to if I need to but it makes me feel good that is has been verbalized. The only thing left for me to do before surgery is call the surgeons office for the time I must arrive at the hospital. Today seems to be going so slow. I guess it is because I am anxious to start my new improved life. After I am home from the hospital I must plan my kids b-day parties. My sons birthday was 1/18 and my daughters is 2/2. They have been very understanding about waiting until I have my surgery to plan their parties. I want to do something special for them this year but haven't figured out what yet. Well I am off to drink my lunch of low salt Beef Bouillon. YUMMY. This liquid diet really stinks, but I gotta do what I gotta do.
2/4/05 - Hello all. I am now on the losing side!!! I had my one week check up on Monday 1/31/05 and have lost 12 pounds so far. Everything is going good I think. I have some pain where the drain tube was but it is getting better everyday. The surgery went smoothly without any complications. So far I have not have any problems with any foods I have tried to eat. I am having problems with protein drinks. The only thing I can get down is Carnation instant breakfast drinks. I add dry milk powder to give me 16 grams of protein. Hopefully this will get better. I even tried the fuzzy navel nectar and could only get about 3 swallows down. It has been really hard to eat because I am never hungry. I am thirsty all the time so I am focusing right now on my drinking so I don't dehydrate. I am going back to work on Monday. I don't know if I am ready for this yet, but if I can't handle a full day I will just work half days for a while. I just can't afford anymore time off without pay. My next doctor appointment is 2/21/05 this is my three week check up. I don't know if I can keep myself off the scale before then, but I have promised myself I will only weigh myself once a week. I will update how work is going next week.
2/8/05 - Well, yesterday was my first day back to work. Everyone was really wonderful and the owner left me go home early because he said I was pushing myself too hard. Work went okay, the hardest part was sitting in a chair all day. Yesterday was also my first day driving, that was a little more challenging. I still have some pain where the drain was and when I have to turn to the right it hurts a little. But it is getting better everyday. My main problem is I am not hungry but I know I must eat so I am trying to eat at least 3 meals a day. I don't ever feel "full", I just feel like I don't want to eat anymore and that is when I stop. I don't know if this is normal or not. If anyone reads this and has any insites please let me know. I am not getting in near enough liquids or protein. I am lucky if I get 40 ounces of water, Crystal lite in a day and my protein has only been around 25 - 30 grams. I guess I am expecting too much since I am only 2 weeks out and am still on pureed foods. I can't seem to drink any of the protein drinks except for the atkins shakes. I have bought sample packs of a couple different kinds and I get down about 3 swallows and then I feel nauseaus (sp?). I weighed myself at home over the weekend and my scale says I am now down 22 lbs, but I am not counting this weight loss until my next doctor appt. I don't know if my scale is accurate or not. Well I guess I have rambled enough, I better get back to work. Til next time. XOXOXOXOXOXO
2/16/05 - Well I am now 3 1/2 weeks post op. My next appointment with Dr. Bonanni's office is on Monday 2/21/05. I never thought I would say this, but I can't wait to get weighed. My scale at homes reads a current weight of 260 which is a 26 lb loss. I am trying to only weigh on Monday mornings but some days it is very hard to resist the temptation. Things are going pretty good. I am having trouble drinking the protein drinks, but I read on the message board about a liquid protein from GNC. I am going to try this and see what I can do to increase my protein levels. I have been eating a lot of chili and refried beans to give me protein but I am getting very tired of them. I am not getting in enough fluids. Yesterday was the best day at 40 oz. I guess it will get better everyday. I have noticed a difference in the way my dress clothing is fitting, but my jeans feel tighter now than before I had the surgery. I guess I am still a little swollen. My husband has been wonderful. He even bought me roses and a Boyds bunny for Valentines Day. I didn't think he was going to get me anything because we have been having some financial problems lately but he said I deserved to get something. I was really worried when I decided to have the surgery that he would not help me. In the past all he has done is sabotage any weight loss plan I was on. I guess he realized I was serious about this. He does question the amount of food I am eating I guess he thinks I should eat more since I don't even eat as much as my 6 year old. I found out the other day that a friend of mine has looked into the surgery, but her husband told her she is absolutely not allowed to have it done. Who is he to tell her that? It is her life. I have tried to contact her to see if she wants to talk about it but she hasn't responded. I feel really bad for her. I hope I can help her. I think I have done enough rambling for one day. I will update with my Official weight after my check up on Monday.
2/2205 - Well yesterday I had my one month check up with Dr. Geng. My official weight loss is 26 pounds. I was rather discouraged by this but he said that is a very good loss and I don't really want to be losing any faster. I have been progressed up to soft regular foods. That was definitely the highlight of my day, NO MORE PUREEING!!! HOORAY!!! I have been released to start exercising all except heavy lifting which he wants me to hold off on until 6 weeks post op, so I am going to join aquabilities and go to aqua-aerobics with my mom and sister. Things have been going pretty good so far. I have not thrown up on any foods yet, and have been able to tolerate everything I have tried to eat. I am still having trouble with my liquids but I did find that sugar free Kool aid goes down the best. I have not found my full trigger yet until I am over full. I guess maybe I am eating too fast and it takes a few minutes for my head to tell me I am full. I think my protein intake will increase now that I can eat regular foods. I feel really good and better about myself since the surgery. My blood pressure has stabilized. I am still taking a blood pressure pill everyday but hopefully that will stop soon. My husband has been wonderful so far, I hope things don't change as I continue to lose weight. I have read so many profiles where people wrote how wonderful their marriages were and then a couple months later after a significant weight loss they are getting divorced. This scares me because my husband and I have had our problems in the past, but we have always been able to work them out. I know that our problems are not always him, I can be very stubborn and bitchy at times and when I am in one of these moods I usually wind up picking a fight with him over the stupidest thing. I guess I will just have to wait and see what the future holds for me. Til next time.
2/28/05 - Not much new to update except that I am now down 30 lbs. Only 6 more pounds to go until my mini goal weight of 250 lbs by Easter. I know I can make it. Also, my BMI is down to 43.9 from 49.1. I think that is something to celebrate too. I had my first experience with vomitting today. I woke up this morning feeling very nauseous but I took my vitamins and all the pills I need to take and went to work. I always eat my breakfast at my desk and as I was half way through my container of yogurt I started to feel very nauseous. Off to the bathroom I went. I didn't vomit but I did dry heave a couple of times, that must have been enough to loosen whatever was stuck because I feel great now and am ready to have lunch. Well back to work I go I just wanted to write this down before I forgot to do it. Also I wanted to Thank everyone who signed my surgery page. I know it is a little late but you know what they always say "Better late than never".
3/8/05 - Hello all. Well I had my first appointment with my PCP since my surgery. She is real pleased with my progress. My weight today was 253 lbs. That is a 33 lb loss. WOOOO HOOOO. Only 3 more lbs to my mini goal of being 250 by Easter. That is about the best part of my day. I found out this morning that my 84 year old great aunt was taken to the hospital with congestive heart failure. They think she had a heart attack over the weekend and was too stubborn to call for help. Hopefully they can fix her up with medicine but she is a very stubborn woman and will probably not take the prescribed medicine once they send her home. Then my husband calls me and says the school thinks my son fractured his hand last night playing indoor soccer. So off for XRays they go. Hopefully it is just sprained. I looked at his hand this morning and I didn't think it looked that bad and he was able to move his fingers and thumb. I guess it has gotten worse as the day has gone on. Well back to my dr appt. I am still on my blood pressure medicine, but she said in time hopefully I will be able to stop it. I was hoping she would stop it this time because I have to order a refill and my prescription is written for a three month supply. Oh well, I guess I just order them and if she stops them before I run out I will flush them in the potty. All else is going well. I joined Aquabilities and have been going to water aerobics and I went for a short walk on Sunday. I don't know if I will get to the pool tonight if we need to go get my sons hand cast, but I am going to try. I have only gotten sick twice so far from eating. Once from Turkey (I think) and once from a Triscuit I didn't chew well enough. I am getting in between 50-70 grams of protein a day but my liquids are very hard. I only get in around 40-50 oz a day. I really need to work on this but I haven't figured out how. Oh well enough babbling for today. Until next time................ XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
3/14/05 - Well today is 7 weeks since my surgery. I have decided that I will weight myself every Saturday or Sunday morning as soon as I get up and that will be the weight I enter in my profile, unless I have a Dr. appt scheduled for that week then I will take the Dr's weight. I feel like I can eat more than my sister who is 1 1/2 years post op, but maybe it is just me. I am not real concerned since I am still losing about 3 lbs a week. I still do not notice my weight loss to look at me, but my size 26 pants are way to big and my size 24s are a little baggy. I have reached my mini goal 2 weeks early so now my next goal is 200 lbs by Memorial Day. That is only 46 lbs in 10 weeks. I THINK I CAN, I THINK I CAN!!!!!!! Today is my Best Friends Birthday. I guess I better go shopping for her present sometime.
3/21/05 - Well I am now 8 weeks or 2 months post op. I am down 43 lbs per my scale at home. I don't get to weight at the surgeons office until 4/18/05. I have been trying to only weigh myself once a week usually either Saturday or Sunday morning right before I get into the shower. I am kinda depressed today. You would think a weight loss of 43 lbs would make me extatic (and I am happy about it) but I just think I should be losing clothing sizes with that much of a weight lost. I mean my size 26 pants are big but not that they fall off and my size 24s are a little loose around the waist but no where else. I haven't tried on my 22 pants yet maybe I should just to see how they fit. I know I am only 8 weeks out and I need to give it time, but I read peoples profiles where in this amount of time they have gone down 2 and 3 clothing sizes. I guess I should chalk this depression up to hormones since it is my "WOMANLY" time of the month. I also figured out today that I really don't have any true friends. How depressing is that. The person I have been calling my best friend for the last 18 years just informed me that she is going to Atlantic City with a girl she works with and they are staying overnight. When I suggested we do that last year she told me she couldn't be away from her husband that long. Maybe it is because this girl she works with is skinny, I don't know. I could just sit here and cry and if I wasn't at work I probably would. I am feeling very much like my favorite cartoon character today, EEYORE! Oh well, I guess that is enough blubbering for today, back to work I go.
3/28/05 - Well I am 9 weeks post op as of today. All is going well. According to my scale I lost another pound this week. I guess I should be happy that is a 44 lb loss in 9 weeks. Why do I feel so depressed all the time. My size 26 pants are too big, my size 24s are a little big in the waist area and my size 22s I can get on and close them but cannot even begin to sit down. This should all make me happy, but I still do not see a difference in myself when I look in the mirror. I guess I am one of the people that my brain will not comprehend the weight loss right away. I feel like I can eat too much at a time. My sister who is 1 1/2 years out doesn't eat as much as I do. I hope that is not going to hinder me. I have not found any food that makes me sick except for triscuits although I have not tried anything with sugar or any bread. I am a little afraid to try these, not sure if it is because of the dumping or that I won't dump!!! I also do not really feel full when I am finished eating, I just feel like I don't want anymore food, although I never really feel hungry either, my head just tells me I need to eat. I guess I am still learning and hopefully eventually will get the hang of this. On a personal note, I found out today that my sisters good friend has passed away. I feel so bad for her family. She has left behind a husband, 2 daughters and a son. She was only in her early 40s. My sister is devastated and I don't have a clue how to help her. I never really cared for this woman, but she was always nice to me whenever we were together. Now that she is gone, I feel bad for questioning my sisters friendship with her since my sister is only 33 and she was 46(?). I guess the best thing I can do is just be there for my sister if she needs me. I have been very depressed the last couple of days and I don't know if it is a hormone thing or just all the bad stuff happening in my life right now. I feel very alone and I really don't have anyone to talk to. I have a lot of friends, but I am finally realizing they are not friends I can confide in or count on for support when I am feeling like this. The one friend (whom I always thought was my best friend) only seems to want to be around for the fun times. Of course this policy on applies to me when she is depressed or having a bad time in her life I am expected to be right there for her every step of the way, and of course I always am because that is the type of person I am. I think I will just sit by myself for a while this evening have a good cry and make everything okay. I can talk to my husband, but I don't think he understands what I am going through. Well, I guess I have babbled enough and I am making myself cry sitting at my desk at work. So until next time....
4/1/05 - Well today marks 15 years of being with my husband. We started dating 4/1/1990, geez I can't believe it has been that long. We will be married 13 years this June. Dang I am getting old!!! Well on a sadder note, the 1 pound loss I marked earlier this week was not real. According to my scale I have not lost anything in 2 weeks. Boo Hoo. I think it is just my body catching up with my loss but it is still depressing. I am excersing at least 3 times a week and am trying to eat all my protein and drink my water. I don't seem to be having a problem getting in the protein since I love fish and crab and shrimp and just about any seafood, but I can't seem to get in more than 50 oz of liquid. Somedays liquids go down real good and other days they get stuck. That is a yucky feeling. Well I will keep working and hopefully next week will see a loss. I am also ovulating this week and I know in the past I always retain some fluid when I ovulate. I will just keep my chin up and keep exercising. I AM NOT GOING TO BE A FAILURE!!! I CAN AND WILL DO THIS!!! With that said, back to work I go.
4/4/05 - Well I guess the last two weeks were just my body catching up with me. I weighed myself yesterday morning and the scale showed a 3 lb loss. HOORAY. I really didn't like that stall that lasted for 2 weeks but I guess I will have to live with them from time to time. Everything is going great on the surgery front. I am still having problems getting in my 60+ ounces of liquid and my 60 grams of protein everyday. Some days I do real good and other days I don't get close. I will just keep trying eventually I will get this down to a science. On a personal note we went to the Humane Society yesterday and adopted a cat for the kids. She is completely black with bright green eyes and her name is Raisin. I wanted to change her name but the kids couldn't agree on one so we will be keeping it the same. The dog and her seem to be okay together. Duncan (the dog) just leaves the room when she comes in. I just have to convince the kids to keep their bedroom clean so the cat doesn't destroy anything good. I haven't figured out yet how to accomplish this feat. Oh well back to work I go.
4/11/05 - WOO HOO. I weighed in at 235 lbs this morning. That is a 51 pound loss since surgery. I am half way to the century club. My mini goal for myself was to reach 50 lbs gone by memorial day. My new goal is to weigh between 210 and 220 by memorial day. I think that is doable. I was going to shoot for 200 lbs but that is a 5-6 lbs loss per week and I think that my discourage me if I can't do it. Another plus for today is - I replied to a post on the messageboard and noticed my picture is up. Thank you OH for working on that for me. It only took around 2 weeks. I am having problems getting in all my protein and fluids everyday. I have my 3 month check up next Monday and then I have to go for bloodwork. I hope all is okay. I don't know what to do about getting in more protein and fluids. I carry a drink with me all the time and I try to eat only foods that contain protein, but sometimes it just doesn't add up to enough grams. Oh well. I will keep trying. I feel great and I am running out of clothing to wear. I still don't see a difference when I look in the mirror but I have noticed a difference in my energy levels. I can't wait to be under 200 lbs, I have not weighed that little since I was married 13 years ago. Well back to work I go. I will update more after my dr. appt next Monday.
4/18/05 - Well today was my 3 month check up with the surgeon and I have lost a total of 52 lbs. The doctor was very happy with my progress so far and he said that I have lost 33% of my excess weight. Today is the first time they have told me what my ideal weight should be. I should weigh 131 pounds according to the ideal weight chart, that means I was 155 lbs overweight. I also had my 3 month appt with the nutritionist today and she if also very pleased with my progress. She just told me that I need to work on my protein intake. I did better today and got in around 54 grams as opposed to the 40 I have been getting in. I even did this without a protein supplement. I even got in 60+ ounces of fluid today. It has been a wonderful day for my intake levels. I had a wow moment today as well. I put on my favorite pair of dress pants that were just a little tight when I had my surgery and they were way to big. Unfortunately I don't have that many pair of pants to wear to work so I didn't have a choice but to wear them, so I decided to put on a belt. I pulled the belt to the last hole and it was still way to big. I had to have my husband put a new hole about 2 inches over from the last hole so the belt would actually help hold up my pants. I think this was the last time I will be wearing those pants. HOORAY. I think it is time to go do some shopping. I also rode a bike over the weekend. I haven't been on a bike for a long time. I rode around the block at my parents house and wasn't even winded when I parked it in the driveway. That was so exciting. I can't wait until this coming weekend. I want to get outside with my kids and actually have fun with them, riding bike or playing soccer or just going for a nice walk. This surgery has saved my life and I am only 3 months out and down 52 lbs. I can't wait for 6 months. Hopefully I will be down at least 75 lbs by then. Well I better finish up before I fill my page.
5/4/05 - I know I haven't updated in a while but my life has been a mess the last couple of weeks. I don't feel like exercising, haven't done any in two weeks except for the occasional 2 mile walk (which is better than nothing but not good enough). I don't know what is wrong with me, I just feel like everyone is against me. All of a sudden I hate my job, I am miserable to my kids and husband. I just want to be alone, but being a mom and wife I don't ever get that kind of time. I can't even go to the bathroom without someone or pet following me in. I don't really have anyone to talk to, my best friend doesn't seem to want anything to do with me since the surgery, my relationship with my sister hasn't gotten any better and my parents have enough to worry about with my elderly grandmother and great aunt. I know I will feel better if I would just get my arse in gear and go to the pool! I bought a brand new swimsuit and haven't had it on yet (except to try it on). When I look in the mirror I still don't see a change in me but all my clothes and jewelry are huge. I am down to a size 22 pants from a 26 and a 22/24 top from a tight 26/28.To change this to a happy note I lost 3 pounds this week after not losing any last week. I can tell I have lost inches and I really should start measuring but I don't really want to know my measurements. Well I guess I should stop babbling and get back to work.
5/10/05 - Well this week started off really crappy. I got absolutely nothing for Mothers Day once again. My husband is not a very thoughtful person when it comes to these little holidays and he doesn't seem to understand why it bothers me so much that I don't ever get a gift from my kids. My poor daughter wanted so bad to get me a card but my husband wouldn't take her for one. I should have just taken her and let her pick one out but I thought he should do this with her not me. So I got nothing, nada, zipola Oh well that is the past now for the good news. I weighed myself yesterday morning and this morning and both days the scale read 226 lbs. That is a 5 lb loss from last week. HOORAY. My goal for Memorial Day was to be at 225 lbs. I think I will surpass this mini goal I really hate when it is my time of the month. I get real depressed and very constipated. I have always had these problems at this time (even pre-op) but it seems to be worse since the surgery. This morning I had to use a Fleet suppository so I could go to the bathroom. I spend 45 minutes on the toilet. UGH. I am thinking about asking my PCP if I can take St. Johns Wort. Kelly (the girl I work with)takes it for depression and she claims it works very well. I don't want to start taking anything without talking to a doctor first because of the absorption issues. Oh well things will get better I am sure. SOOOO back to work I go.
5/19/05 - Okay I guess I should update again. I think my scale at home is not working properly. I can get on it three times in a row and each time it will give me a different weight. So I am considering this week a NO WEIGHT LOSS WEEK. I don't like it very much but I would rather have no loss than show a gain next week. I am planning on buying a new scale over the weekend. I know some people who read this will think I don't need a scale, but I do. I need to weight once a week or I go batty.
Things are pretty quiet this week. I have been busy with being on the Alsace Township Recreation Board. We are having a lot of meetings because Playground registration is coming up and we need to have all the packets copied and ready to distribute. At first I didn't want to be on the board, but it is fun. A good time away from the kids with 4 other women my age.
Last week I met a couple of Reading Surgicals patients at support group and I have been chatting with them on the Yahoo groups. They are a trip. I did find out that I know Kami's husband, he is a sales rep and used to call on the company I work for. Go figure.
I still haven't made the desicion about a treadmill or elliptical yet. I am still leaning toward the elliptical. We shall see. I started walking again this week. I walked two miles on Tuesday and Wednesday and am planning on going again tonight. I hope I can keep it up this time. I don't like to walk by myself and my friend will only walk with me weeks her hubby is on second shift,because he walks with her when he is home. I just need to get my butt out and walk wether it is just me or with someone else.
My clothes are all getting to big now. I am in my size 22's and this is the smallest size in my drawers. That means I am going to have to go shopping. Damn the bad luck!! The only problem is I don't really have the money to buy clothes now to only wear them for a couple weeks then have to buy more. I have been shopping on Ebay but people bid the stuff up soooo high. I will check out Goodwill sometime next week and see what they have.
Well I better get back to work as I could keep typing and typing and typing today. I am in the mood to talk and don't really have anyone to talk to today.
5/25/05 - Well another week at the same weight. Now I am getting depressed and frustrated. I wanted to reach my mini goal of 220 lbs by Memorial Day but I don't see myself losing 6 lbs between now and next Monday. ARGH!! I went shopping over the weekend for a new pair of capri pants to wear on my trip to Washington D.C., well let me tell you that didn't help my mood any. I went to Fashion Bug. The size 22's are too big and the 20's I can't even get over my hips. How is that possible, I just don't understand. Walmart had nothing but the new flourescent colors or the real long capris that would go to my ankles so I might as well buy jeans. I thought clothing shopping would be more fun as I lost weight, I guess I was wrong.
I went to Washington D.C. on Sunday with my son and his cub scout troop. We spent 4 hours at the Zoo. That was fun, we saw the giant pandas and leopord cubs and all kinds of animals. I want to go back and take my daughter along I think she will enjoy it. Then we loaded back on the bus and traveled to the Smithsonian Institute. We walked around there for 3 1/2 hours. I had been there before but it is a little different than it was in 1987. I took pictures of the HOPE Diamond and also of a 75 carat emerald and diamond broach. I told my husband he could buy me one like that for Christmas. He didn't respond to that comment, I wonder why? All in all we had a really good time. It was a very tiring day but I would do it again in a heartbeat. Last year at this time we wouldn't have gone on the trip for the following reasons:
1 - I wouldn't have fit comfortably in the bus seats2 - I wouldn't fit in the bus bathroom3 - I wouldn't have been able to walk that much without having to rest
My legs and feet were sore from all the walking, but I really didn't have to sit down and rest to catch my breath or because I was just too tired to go on. It was a very enjoyable and stress free day. A day my son and I needed to have together. I took some pictures of my son with his best friend and he took a couple pictures of me.
5/31/05 - Hello all. After a 3 week lull I have finally lost 4 lbs making my total so far 64 lbs. I am ecstatic. Some days I wish it were more but I have never lost this much weight before except when taking phen fen.
We went to Tioga county over the weekend, it was cold and rainy but we had a good time irregardless. The hardest parts was having a campfire and not being able to have a smore. I got a little grumpy but I didn't give in. We didn't get to go hiking or bike riding because we are still working on my mom and sisters campers to get them all set up. I can't wait until we can go up again because I am ready to hike and ride the bike trail for miles. We did go fishing and I could actually sit on the ground for a long period of time without my legs falling asleep.
6/15/05 - Well I missed my update last week because I was feeling a little out of sorts. I had a 2 lb loss last week and another 2 lb loss this week. This makes my total loss 68 lbs. I feel great, but I really need to work on the exercise. We are going camping this weekend and I am going to take my bike and ride the bike trail with my kids. I don't know how far I will make it but I am at least going to try. The other night I swam 10 laps in my parents pool. Man was I tired after that. I think I went at it too fast for the first time. I think I really need to go buy either an elliptical or a treadmill because I don't get time to exercise until after 9 PM.
My husband and I are getting along much better lately. There was a time pre op and right after my surgery that I considered leaving and filing for divorce, but things are going pretty good. My moods are still terrible around the time of the month when Aunt Flo visits but hopefully as I lose weight this will get better. I guess because I am happier in my body I am treating everyone better. I know I can be a real bitch and I really hate when I get that way. Unfortunately my husband takes the brunt of these mood swings.
I am getting tons of compliments and that embarresses me but it is awesome at the same time. When I work bingo at the fire company all those people are so wonderful. They compliment me every week and always ask how I am feeling. They are like part of my support family.
My hair is still falling out but seems to be slowing down a little. I hope it stops soon or I will have bald spots, I can't believe how thin it has gotten.
Well I better get to work before I get caught on the internet. Sorry for the long update, but I needed to babble a little.
6/27/05 - Friday, 6/24 was my 5 month anniversary. I weighed on Sunday morning at 213 lbs. That is a 73 lb loss in 5 months. I am ecstatic. Only 14 more lbs to go and I am in "ONDERLAND". Can I do it by my 6 month appt? I sure hope so!!
Today has been a horrible day for me so far, I made a decision last night to allow my son to go away for the week with his best friends family. I know he will be in good hands and I trust them but I still feel like I made a wrong decision. I know he will have a good time (as he always does when he is with Damon) but I am still sad. A friend told me it is the letting go thing that has me so down and I think she is right. I will miss him terribly this week as he is my rock when I need strength. He is only 11 but I can always count on his for a hug when I need one.
Today is my 13th wedding anniversary and I think my husband forgot. I guess I should call and remind him, but I don't think I should have to do that!! He was mad at me this morning for making the decision that my son could go away when he had plans and needed Timmy to babysit. I'm sorry but I don't feel an 11 year old should have to babysit his 6 year old sister everyday on his summer vacation. My husband made the decision to take a 3rd shift job without talking to me first and now I am the one suffering. He is never home and when he is he is sleeping, when am I supposed to discuss this stuff with him. Somedays he really pisses me off.
Man could I eat a bag of peanut m & m's right now. If I weren't so afraid of dumping I would probably go to the convenience store and buy a bag. I guess I will heat up my lunch and eat that instead!
I hope my son calls me sometime during the week. I told him to take my cell phone number along in case he wants to call.
I will do some quality stuff with my daughter this week while Timmy is away. Abby has been bugging to go miniature golfing, I guess I will take her one evening.
I'm sorry for posting all this down stuff on here but sometimes I don't have anyone to talk to and I just need to vent. I figure here is the best place. Thanks for listening(reading). Hopefully next week I will have something better to post.
Oh, I almost forgot some good news. I meet Carol (one of Dr. Beetel's) patients on Saturday. She is an awesome lady. I have read her profile on OH completely and felt like I knew her before I met her. She looks fantastic and has lost 130 some pounds in less than a year. I hope I can do that too. That would put me at goal, how fantastic would that be?
Well I guess I should stop babbling and get back to work. Have a wonderful week!
7/11/05 - Well I haven't updated for a while so I thought I would come here and babble for a while. The weight loss has slowed down. I am currently only losing about 3 lbs a week but that is fine with me. Hopefully I will not have a lot of loose skin as I can't afford Plastic surgery. Last week I weighed in at 210 lbs. I haven't been this weight since I got married in 1992. I am still wearing size 20 pants though and that has me a little depressed. I am going to go shopping this week and just try on clothes to see if I can get in any smaller size. I have been avoiding shopping as I don't have the money and I can't find any styles that I like.
Last week my husband started our house project. We have this wonderful 8' deep hole in our backyard where they dug down to get under our footer to dig out the basement. Of course it rained last week, the first time all summer. Now we have a giant mud pool in the basement. I can't wait until it is finished. I don't know what I am going to do with room for storage. This is the first step to the master bedroom addition on our house. Maybe the addition will be finished before I turn 80. HA HA HA.
I don't know if I am stressed out from this work on the house or what but over the weekend I just ate and ate and ate. I was pickery. The good thing is that I can't eat much when I pick but it still is not good. Potato chips and popcorn go down way too good, I need to stop buying these things for my house. I still have not tried sugar and I hope I can keep going this way. We went to a b-day party yesterday and I didn't even try a piece of cake although I would have loved some. I am going to make my favorite cupcakes with Splenda so I can have one!
My husband got my treadmill fixed (the one that was under water a couple months ago). He doesn't know how long it will last but at least it is running now. I am going to attempt to get up early so I can walk at least 15 minutes in the morning before work, then I can still exercise in the evening if I find time for an extra workout. I know this is why my weight loss has slowed down, I am lucky if I work out 2 times a week. BAD KIMMIE!!!
I will update later how this new endeaver is going. Until next time. Ta Ta.
7/19/05 - Well yesterday I had my 6 month check up with my surgeons office. Technically I am 5 months and 24 days post op. I have lost a total of 76.5 lbs which is equivalent to 50% of my excess body weight. The surgeon said that the normal weight loss for 6 months is 40-45% so I am doing great. I was hoping to have lost more by now, like to weigh under 200 lbs, but I am happy with my progress so far.
I went shopping with a WLS friend on Saturday and I bought size XL shirts and 20W pants,this is down from size 26/28. I could fit into some 18's but I felt they were too tight and I don't like my clothing to fit tight.
Things are going pretty good right now except I have found that potato ships do not make me sick. I have to stop buying them!!! My relationship with my hubby is so much better than before and I am outside working around the yard constantly. I am happy with myself, now I just need to get us out of debt and I will be good to go. This of course is easier said than done. It just seems like all the big bills come due at once and then there is some other major expense at the same time. I feel like I am the only person having these problems, I know I am wrong about this but I take the debt thing very serious. I just don't know what to do. I pay on the credit card bills every month and the balances either stay the same or increase because of the finance charges. I guess we should get another loan, pay them off and cut them up!! I just hate going through the loan process.
Sorry to be babbling about my personal stuff but I needed to vent and this seemed like a good place.
7/25/05 - Well yesterday was my 6 month post op anniversary. I am now down to 206 lbs only 6 more to go to onederland. Can I do it by August? I doubt it but will try. In 6 months I have lost 80 lbs who'd have thunk I could manage that.
Yesterday was a fabulous day for me, it started my sons soccer season and I haven't seen any of the parents since the beginning of June. Well his coach looked at me and said "What happened to you?" I didn't know what he was talking about. His wife explained to me that he didn't know about my surgery. I told him someone stole 77 lbs off my body. I received so many compliments and I felt really good about myself. Then we went to my parents as we do every Sunday and had dinner which consisted of 3/4 of a cheeseburger - no roll and an ear of corn. It was very yummy but I am very hungry for pork chops and steak. We have been eating a lot of burgers lately because they are quick and easy and always on hand!! Well after dinner the kids decided to put together a barefoot kickball game and I participated. That was soooo much fun. After the game my son hugged me and told me he had never seen me run before. I never really thought about how much I didn't do anymore being overweight! I even ran behind my daughter as she tried to ride her bicycle without training wheels. The only problem with running is that my extra skin bounces around and now today my belly is sore. Maybe that will be a cause for PS down the road.
I still need to work on my exercise level. My son has soccer camp all week at the youth league and I am going to try to walk the walking path everynight if possible, I know I can't walk Thursday as I work. Three times around is 1 mile so my goal is to make 6 laps. I know I can do this, I just have to keep pushing myself. I also need to work on my protein intake. I started out the day drinking a protein shake (23 grams of protein). My lunch is 13 grams and I have pudding for a snack. Not sure how much protein in the pudding, I think 4 grams. Better than munching on popcorn or chips!!
