Kyri

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272 AND HOLDING

NO

at myself.

I feel like im blowing this.

Ok, Ive been suffering here... Im angry. Im upset, Im hateful and more than anything else im so damn dissapointed that i just cant stand it.  I am losing so damn slow that its just making me insane.  Ive been bithicn about this for 4 months.
I had surgury to help me lose weight. Well...... no one told me that Id only lose a teeny bit a month.

Is exercise really the key?
HELL YES!  DO IT....... DO IT NOW!!!!!!!!! I WILL DO IT. Somehow, some way.

Do I really need to track my food?

I try to have some sembalance of normality in my diet for the sake of my faimly and Im done. Its not working.
Yes, I do eat carbs. I stay away from pasta now except rarely but i have been eating some potatoes. About 2 servings a week.  I dont know -shoudl only be eating protine and veggies. Skip everything else. Am i thinking wrong? Perhaps im seeing it the wrong way.

My new plan is: PROTINE then a small salad or a veggie. NO NO NO carbs, no pasta.  I cant eat rice, makes me sick.

I WILL EXERCISE!  I WILL I WILL I WILL I WILL I WILL I WILL I WILL I WILL I WILL

On the up side i can touch the floor now when i bend over and stretch out! I havent done that in years.

Im having a pity party here .... please excuse me but i just gotta vent.

I am 3 months out on monday. I have only lost 22 pounds. Im doing things the way i am supposto. At least i think i am. SO WHY am I not losing weight? Im so angry and frustrated. I am about to lose my mind.  I needed to vent where people could respond and perhaps give me some thoughts about what i may be doing wrong.  First off, yes - I am getting my protine and fluids in.  Rather than guessing at amounts and calories I make sure to measure, weigh and log everything I eat or drink on www.thedailyplate.com I started this about 9 days ago or so because I just dont understand what i am doing wrong.

4 weeks ago I started losing a little i was so very excited. I lost 6 pounds in 6 days.  Unfortunatly i wasnt journaling at that time because I thought i was being smart and i knew what i was doing. And yes i ate some pottatoes during those days.  I was pretty active too. Housework and daily errands etc.  I eat a pretty steady diet of the same things. I dont mind repeating things like salad and baked or grilled chicken breast. 3 weeks ago, and no i did nothing diffrent I gained back the 6 pounds. I thought it was fluid. Salt definetly seems to reak havoc with me now. My rings usually slide just about off my fingers and yet lately they are not sliding. I am retaining some fluids. Also another reason I started journaling foods on daily plate cus they list sodium. But its been here now for a couple weeks. I have a constant  dull achy pain in my pouch area. Seems like a dull pain, with alot of gas. I dont think IM constipated (hope not after a few weeks anyhow) but this pain is here and never goes away. Moving on........

Now based on the dailyplates caloric intake counter thingie their calculations for my weight 290 I should be able to eat 1,959 calories a day and lose 2 pounds a week at a sedentary activity rate.  What a bunch of crap that is. I couldnt eat that much if i tried.  IM sure that s for people with a whole tummy.  My NUT recommends up 64-70 oz water and 80 grams protine. There wasnt an exact calorie amount listed.  So yes, I had some hard times getting to the point i could get in all that. And i figured out how to eventually. Thank you Isopure RTD 20oz/40g.
I take all my vitamins as required. BLAH that B complex is aweful. Smells like dirty feet to me. BUT hey it keeps me sane so i take it.

SO........ IM ONLY EATING 600-1000 A DAY AND I AM NOT LOSING ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I AM PISSED!   YES EVERYONE IS DIFFERNT AND EVERYONE LOSES DIFFRENTLY I accept that but dammit I AM NOT LOSING ANYTHING!  I see my NUT monday thank heaven.

An example of my daily intake is:
day before yesterday

Food Item	Servings	Cals	Fat	Cholest	Sodium	Carbs	Sugars	Fiber	Protein
Isopure	1.00	160	0g	0mg	80mg	0g	0g	0g	40g
Poland Spring Sport Bottled Water	1.00	0	0g	0mg	0mg	0g	0g	0g	0g
Safeway Quick Oats	1.00	140	3g	0mg	0mg	26g	0g	4g	5g
Torani Sugar Free Carmel Syrup	1.00	0	0g	0mg	0mg	0g	0g	0g	0g
Folgers Coffee W/creamer	1.00	45	2g	0mg	0mg	0g	0g	0g	0g
Silk Chocolate Soymilk	1.00	140	4g	0mg	100mg	23g	19g	2g	5g
Chicken Breast Baked 2 Oz	1.00	55	0g	48mg	42mg	0g	0g	0g	18g
Iceburg Lettuce	0.50	5	0g	0mg	4mg	1g	1g	1g	1g
Mushrooms	1.00	15	0g	0mg	3mg	2g	1g	1g	2g
Stop & Shop Baby Spinich	1.00	20	0g	0mg	65mg	3g	0g	2g	2g
Totals:		580	8g	48mg	294mg	55g	21g	9g	72g

Yesterday

Food Item	Servings	Cals	Fat	Cholest	Sodium	Carbs	Sugars	Fiber	Protein
Poland Spring Sport Bottled Water	1.00	0	0g	0mg	0mg	0g	0g	0g	0g
Special K2O Protein Water Mix-pink Lemonade	1.00	30	0g	0mg	35mg	6g	0g	5g	5g
Isopure	1.00	160	0g	0mg	80mg	0g	0g	0g	40g
Folgers Coffee W/creamer	1.00	45	2g	0mg	0mg	0g	0g	0g	0g
Hummus	1.00	60	4g	0mg	170mg	5g	0g	1g	1g
Ken's Lite Accents Asian Vinaigrette	1.00	15	1g	0mg	80mg	2g	2g	0g	0g
Poland Spring Sport Bottled Water	1.00	0	0g	0mg	0mg	0g	0g	0g	0g
Campbell's Soup At Hand Classic Tomato	1.00	120	0g	0mg	890mg	27g	15g	2g	3g
Chicken Breast Baked 2 Oz	1.00	55	0g	48mg	42mg	0g	0g	0g	18g
Chicken Breast Baked 2 Oz	1.00	55	0g	48mg	42mg	0g	0g	0g	18g
Iceburg Lettuce	0.50	5	0g	0mg	4mg	1g	1g	1g	1g
Ken's Lite Accents Asian Vinaigrette	1.00	15	1g	0mg	80mg	2g	2g	0g	0g
Hummus	1.00	42	3g	0mg	81mg	3g	0g	0g	1g
Stop & Shop Baby Spinich	0.00	0	0g	0mg	0mg	0g	0g	0g	0g
Totals:		602	10g	96mg	1,504mg	46g	20g	9g	86g

While it is true that i do not exercise alot, I am in alot of joint pain. Since surgury I havent been able to take either my advil, aleve or my darvocet. I averaged about 10 pills a day in various forms with my arthritis.  I like to walk, but its very snowy out here in my area.

so..... WHAT do i do here? Im so frustrated and i have to wonder why I had this surgury if I cant lose weight.

meticulously charting my food intake daily on thedailyplate.com.
so I'm confused. It claims that with sedentary rate of exercise, sitting etc I can eat 1945 cal a day and lose 2 pounds a week.  I'm walking each day about 15 minutes. Its about all i can handle with the knee pain.  I eat 600-1000 cal a day. AND YET I'm not losing. Today I'm down to 287.7 that's first ting this morning. Yay but........... where do they come up with these things? I mean wow..... 1900 calories seems like so very much. I couldn't do that if i wanted to, and i don't.

I am not going to do carbs now. I am going to be very very very careful. my body was screaming it was hungry all the time and i think it was because of the carbs. I'm not counting oatmeal but I don't want potato, rice, bread. Sigh. I love those things so much. I bake amazing breads and i never met a potato i didn't like  Hell, I'm a Celt. Irish Scottish mix mostly. We love our taters!

I have been browsing eggfaces site shes got some awesome looking things. I will have to try. I have already collected 8 bottles of torani sugar free syrups!  Yesterday I had oatmeal with  2 splenda and 2 tbsp of the cinnamon brown sugar one. OMG heaven!  I wasn't hungry at all and I drank water all day. 9 8oz glasses so yippee for me.

Ok tootin my own horn cus no one else will. Of course, I'm the first to kick my own ass if I screw up too!

I know i can, yes yes I can. I will do this.

Just home from getting my 3 month labs. Had wo wait a hour an 15 mionutes The place didnt looked packed btu there was only one lab tec working. Poor girl.   Next week is my 3 month surg-anniversary.  The latest is I still have pain in my tummy. Its not awful and it livable. I think its gas. I press the spot over my pouch and i burp . WTF is up with me. cant do anything right lately it seems. 

My mood sucks. Im hopin to find that tai chi class locally. I hate winter, its so cold and i ache alot.

Food....... Well been trackin now for a week and things look the same. Thank god i see the NUT monday. Im not looking forward to the other appointments. Oh well. i will survive it.


Today I will have
B- Isopure
Water (24 oz)
L- not sure,. mebby oatmeal its damn cold here.
Water
S-tomato soup cup
D- 2 oz chiken, 1/2 c cheese and a spinich salad with mushrooms and some light dressing.
S- protine ice cream or tomato soup

 wrote a whole page and now its gone dammit!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have struggled with fat my whole life was I just being foolish thinking that having the surgury would make me feel better, look better, give me a fighting chance? Was i meant to be fat, to hurt all the time. I get so mad reading the posts of others who are losing weight and feelin better.
Im trying, really i am. I eat carefully, I walk when i can. Granted its not often becaue of the weather I dont get out much becuase im afraid of falling. BUT HOLY CRAPP! I want to be thin and healthy.

My low was 287 I was thrilled and excited. Then suddently i start to gain, up 5 pounds in 3 days. WHAT HAPPENED? No, Im not pmsing I had a hysterectomy in 2006.  Well i never had problems with salt before but evidentaly that is what happened fluid retention becuase i made pea soup and added some of the onion soup mix to it. BLAMO i blow up like a balloon becaue im holding fluid.  Im back to 290 now. Thats am weight before anyt hing. 

Back in december when things got crazy with holidays i stopped journaling. Yep bad me. BUT im back to journaling on the dailyplate.com which lets me do it anytime. I dont have to have a paper or pen around all the time. YIPEE.  So after 4 days i see a clear problem in my eating. Im getting 900-1100 cal a day. OH dear god. WHAT NOW:
I was being careful. trying so very hard to find out that i eating too much again.

I started all this years ago, I do not lose weight with more than 800 cal a day. HOW do i get back to that amout of calories. IM FREEKIN HUNGRY. Head hunger or not IM STARVING. Im depresed, Im angry.  Presurgury i ate salad and salad and salad. NOW I have no teeth. My dentures hurt me and I cant eat with them in. So what do i do. I started chopping up my sala stuff. Hope that helps. one piece of meat and a salad ....... can this be the correct combo? We shall see. Ill head to the grocery and get some salad makings as soon as the roads and the driveway are clear of snow. I cant walk on snow- Im too uncoordinated.

I will continue to stamp my foot and scream I AM NOT A FAILURE...........I WILL WIN. I WILL DO THIS FOR ME. I WILL ...I WILL ...I WILL.

I am not a failure. I stamp my foot and scream I AM NOT A FAILURE.