Old-Profile-Journal

UPDATE 15 July 2008 My husband is home and we are now stationed at Fort Lewis, WA. The hospital here performs surgery right on post, so I have started the process here to get surgery. They have a program here from beginning to end and I am hoping to have surgery by spring of 2009.


UPDATE
25 July 06
It has been a very long time since I have even signed in here. What I really need right now are friends. I have isolated myself and wrapped up my life in my kids and I need to have time for ME now. Although the surgery is a thought of the past I am again trying to find a diet that will be one I can just stick to the rest of my life. So far the method thats working for me is to diet monday -friday then weekends "off" if i want icecream or a candybar i save it for the weekend. Although this method is not perfect it seems to be slowly working for me and is something I think I can stick to long term.

My husband has been gone almost a year now and now we are at where I can start a countdown to his return home. I miss him soooo much and cant wait to have him home and safe again. I added a cute ticker for his return but with good old army they could keep him much longer..i just hope they let him come home on time!

He is my HERO!!!












First Entry 18 June 2005

A little about me. I really was not overweight in highschool but as I got older food became my comfort and by age 19 I was already 180 after the birth of my son I was over 200 and then struggled to even maintain weight. In 2003 I got married for the first time and had a child with my husband. I was 255 when i got pregnant and had a very complicated pregnancy with severe gestational diabetes to the point where I was injecting insulin morning and night. (ouch, I hate needles) I ate the way they told me and very rarely cheated but yet still gained and gained and gained. I have tried many ways since the birth of the baby to get my weight down but can only seem to lose 10 -15 lbs at most then i get in a rut. Even before I got pregnant I was considering this surgery, I have researched the risks and benefits and believe its more beneficial than anything.

My goals are not so much a number on the scale but many other things I cannot do. I want to do housework without pain. I want to go to the amusement park and actually beable to go on every ride (ok not every ride but I at least want the choice) I want to play in the park with my kids or beable to pick up my baby without strain. I want to be more active and involved. Right now that is nto physically possible. I want to go to a store and buy something i like not just whatever fits me. Well you get the point.

The good news is I am on the path to doing this. Bad news is I may have to go it alone. My husband is in the National Guard and it looks as though right about the time i will get a date he will get deployed to Iraq. I would love to make friends in this area that understand. A support system is very important.

If you want to know more about me, please email me

Huggs,
Jennifer


1-July-2005
The clinic I am going to in Green Bay has several steps I have to go thru before Surgery. This week I completed my first meeting with the Nutritionist and Personal Trainer. I also had the Psych Exam and the way they do it the Psychiatrist gets to decide if i need therapy first, which he can reccomend up to 6 months of it. I find out next week.

Bad News!!! My husband getting deployed is a sure thing now, its just a matter of will it be late August or early September? I am starting to get cold feet about this surgery because after I will have no support whatsoever and not sure if I can get thru this all alone. My husband thinks im super woman or something and that I can keep a household running, raise kids and get major surgery and still hold together. I am glad for this website where I can journal my thoughts and have others to talk to about this. I would like to think that I am not the only military wife like this, maybe I am who knows. Just take it a step at a time and go from there I guess.

UPDATE 10-July-2005
We have an offical date now, its mixed good and bad news. My husband will be activated and report to duty one month from today on August 10. The good news is the first 3 months hes going for training in Southern MS at Camp Shelby so in that time I can visit him on weekends. He will also get block leave sometime in October and come home for about a week before heading over to Iraq..Which is the bad news. After block leave he heads straight over to Kuwait City to start the mission. Make no mistake though I am very proud of him, he is truly my HERO. I knew a day like this was possible the day I met him and agreed to it the day I married him. Now I have to remain focused and get thru this surgery so that he can come home to a better woman.

21-July-2005
Missed an appointment yesterday, they claimed they called to remind me they didnt. If I miss one more they wont let me come back for one year. I am getting the run-around on other issues with them, like how long they want me to do counseling, I have been waiting 3 weeks for an answer to that one. I am wondering if this is the right office for me. With talking to others online I am wondering if a Doctor in Milwaukee would be better for me to go to. I am contacting Wisconsin Bariatric Clinic and talking with them to see what they have to say.

I have not kept to the diet like they said, without support at home its very difficult to do, in fact sometimes i actually have anti-support like when family members buy chocolate cake just for me, ya that helps.

On a Good Note, I have been much more active, there have been 3 days now this summer where we have had to do walking all day and I have kept up. It is a huge accomplishment for me and I am proud of myself for keeping up and being more active. I have also with moving around more been able to do more housework around the house without as much pain as before. I am trying to push my limits so that I can keep improving my life and making it better.

20-September-2005
I will not be having the surgery as planned not now and not in the next 2 years. I went thru the 3 months of nutrition/weight trainer that the clinic required only to have the nurse inform me that with my husband in Iraq and no direct support person they will not schedule me for surgery, wont even consider it. I have no one other than my husband who could be there for me. I feel like a diet that failed me again or maybe I failed it. This is my second try. What I have not said in earlier journal is that this is the 2nd doctor I have seen here. The first was Dr. Kemmerling who after having me go thru a 2hr orientation informed me he will not accept Tricare Military Insurance, not that they wouldnt pay they would he just didnt like what rate they pay at.

What is the point anymore of even trying when I get shot down at every angle. I dont know what else to try other than maybe going on slimfast for life and nothing else. My husband gets to come home to a failure yet again which is just wonderful for my marriage and even better for my self-esteem.


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