MaryLouise F.

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So today I went to my 3 month Post Op appointment.. it went really really good.. I am now down 62 lbs.. I went way over the goal we set for me.. and Diana was very please.. and I must say so am I.. but then my Enimia (sp?) is rearing its ugly head again so I am going back on Iron Pills.. and my Calcium is slightly low so I will be uping my calcium intake.. along with taking some extra Vitamin C.. soo.. with that said I am due back in three more weeks and we set a goal of 34 lbs lost in that time.. I am more than confident that I will meet that goal by June.. I feel so great.. and I feel great about myself as well.  What an awesome feeling to be able to enjoy life so much more than I ever have!!  Now I actually enjoy stoping to smell the flowers!!  

On another note Saturday is the Get together in Stockton and I am so excited I can't wait to see Dana and DeAnna and April and Lisa and Beckah.. and all the others gals.. it is so great seeing everyone's process in this journey to a new Healthy life!!  

MaryLouise

So lastnight I took some more pics.. I am starting to hope that others don't see me as Vain for taking so many pics.. I am just so pleased with my progress.  I am down another 2 lbs so that makes me excited as well.  I took some photos and did this little before and after thing and I am SHOCKED to see the differance.. I mean I can't believe that was ever me.. and I am only down 52 lbs.. I am very happy with where I am at now.. my numbers are still very high and I have 8o+  more pounds to go before I make my goal.. and to think that a day is gonna come when I am not even gonna recognize me.. lol to think that all along I have been trapped in this body that was suffercating me.. and killing me.. now I am free.. and it truelly is a feeling that you can not put into words unless you yourself have experienced it!!  What blessing this surgery has been on my life.. and my spirit!!  Thank you WLS!!  

MaryLouise

Today was my weigh day.. lol and I went up to the Health center and weighed in.  It read 250 lbs.. and all of a sudden I couldnt remember what my weight was last week..so I thought to myself well I think I am down another 3 lbs.  So I go home all happy.. yeah.. another three pounds woop woop.. made dinner and watched  movie with the kids.  Then I decide to come update my weight loss ticker.. OMG I am down a whole 5 lbs.. I am just so happy happy.. woot woot.. this makes me so excited I cant even sleep now..lol!!  YEAH ME!!  Sorry, I had to do that I am just so happy and proud that I have gotten this far. 

MaryLouise

I know this may not be something most of you believe but I believe it with all that I am. God Blesses us every day.. and when we need it most he reaches out to where we need it that very moment!! Strange how sometimes it can take us years to see it, to really see it!!  So I had to share this with you..May God Bless you right at this very moment!!

Some of you may not Know this, But I lost my son Baby Daniel 14 years ago today.  February 16, 1994. Well about 6 years ago maybe longer I was driving down the road when a song by Savage Garden came on on the radio.  Half way into the first verse I was pulled over on the side of the road in tears.  This song so touched my heart and reminded me of my Son.. I knew I loved him way before I met him.. I had been waiting all my life for a son.. a thousand angels dance around him.. and I will love him all my life!!  I sat there for some time and cried and that day officially 'I knew I loved you' by Savage Garden had become my song from me for my son. 

Well a couple years later I was asked to sing at a memorial convention for mothers who had lost their children to Anencephaly (this is how I lost my Baby Daniel), It touched so many hearts and became a song that often you will hear at memorials for Children lost.  Every year it never fails on this very day I hear that very song.  Well here is the Blessing I so believe was meant for me.. today I was browsing the net for the song, came across a web site that let me download it, so I did. I had it playing on my media player.. and across the bottom it reads off information about the song.. it said and I quote this.. 'Various artist preformed' Then the next flash 'Daniel Jones (Composer)'  I almost fell out of my seat.  If you don't already know Baby Daniel's last name is Jones.  So it all comes so clear to me now... As he says hello from the heavens..

All these years I thought I picked that song for my son.. Now I see the truth.. that emotional day on the road 6 years ago, Daniel picked that song for me, his mom!!  I have yet to meet my boy, he never took a breath, but I know he is in Heaven's arms loving me.. even before he meets me.  Angels are all around me daily protecting me and keeping me safe till the day I can hold in my arms the boy who's heart is always a part of mine!!

As sad as today may be for me and my family who love and miss this precious Angel, We are also blessed to know that we are one year closer to the day we are reunited with our loved ones in Heaven!! God Bless you ALL!!!

MaryLouise

You know support is so important when it comes to wls.. and I honestly thought I had it from the majority of my friends and family.  But now I am learning that there are actually some so called friends and family who actually dont want to see me succeed in this.  I am just completly shocked.. But you know I have news for those fake people who want to be nice to my face and stab me in the back when I turn around..I WILL SUCCEED!!  And my success has already begun!!!!!

Today was my weekly weigh in and I am down another 3 lbs.. woot woot.. and besides I feel like all the support I need comes from this very forum.  I have met some wonderful women here who have done nothing but encourage me and with that said I will succeed, how can I not!!

Much Love, MaryLouise

Today I was driving my daughter to Bible study and I was sucking on a certs.  Just droped my oldest off with the Youth group and turned the corner.  The Certs went to the back right side of my mouth and I bit down to stop it from going down my thoat.  I could hear a pop in my ear and a pain hit so hard I almost drove off the road.  I quickly stoped the truck and spit the certs out expecting a tooth to come with it from the amount of pain I felt.  No tooth no blood.. just the certs.. The right side of my face hurts so bad, it feels as if someone took their fist and socked me in the side of my jaw.  I am sure come morning I will look as though someone socked me too.  I came home and called my daughter's Youth leader asking him to bring her home after the study.. took some of that liquid Vicodin I have left from the Surgery and laid on the couch.. I just got up a little bit ago and took some more Vicodin.. so I should be out again really soon.  My face hurts so bad I dont ever recall having pain like this.. now I am gonna have to go searching for a Dentist that takes emergency walk ins.. I go to Access but I am not sure if they will take Emergencies like that.. wish me luck!!!

But on a brighter note I am down another 1 lb since last week.. lol yeah I am so excited about that.. if I have to dental work, which I know comes with too much pain to even chew a thing I will be back on a liquid diet and the weight will come off even more so.. ha ha ha.. I guess that is one way to look at it!!

Ok so I went to this Baby shower that I had promised over a month ago that I would attend.  It was good at first I showed up a bit early and got right to helping my friend finish up laying the snacks out.  Then the party Begain.  One girl there whom I see all the time always has to say "Oh WOW you look so great" (like I must of been hidious before surgery..lol) every time she sees me.. so I went through that for about 20 min trying to change the subject and back out.. before long the whole room had known I had Gastric Bypass.  So the party begains.. everything fine.. well then its time for everyone to get up and have snacks.  Of course there is nothing there I can eat so I just went to my purse and got out a string cheese I keep in there that way it did not look like I was being anti social by not eating.. (Hmmm why does that make someone anti social anyways.. lol).  Then here goes the you look so great gal.. asking why the host (my friend) didnt think of me when she was purchasing her snacks and get anything healthy.  What is up with that.. I would never ask someone to think of me when throwing a party for someone else.. its just plain rude.. so I laughed and tried to brush it off by telling her that is was ok I am used to not finding things I can eat anyways and I bring my own snacks.  Finally the unwrapping begain and I was left alone.. then it was time for the cake.. I got my stuff ready and got ready to leave when my friend (The host) asks me about my weight loss.  And why the Dr thought maybe I was not losing as quickly.. I explained how I was losing just fine he had said and it would probably slow down with the numbers going down because I had been working out.. (I know.. get to the point right.. sorry.. had to get the setting going for you).  So in walks some of the other guests and they instantly start in on the conversation.. snide remarks.. one woman looked me up and down before saying, 'well I am just happy being fat.'  Like I had said something to offend her in some way.  I said yeah I was happy fat too but I thought I better do something quick before my health deteriorates and I die young.. she laughed at my remark with a roll of the eyes and left the room.  

Why is it that people think I (or any of us for that matter) has done this for vanity reasons?  Mind you this was women who dont really know me.. they have seen me at occasional parties.. but don't know my history or me really.  Something that same friend (the host) had said Prior to my having surgery has stuck with me all this time.  She said she feared my getting this surgery because I would not be Bubblie any more.. (like only fat people are bubbly).  She even came to be with me at the hospital and visit after.. but it was almost like she was coming to say goodbye or something.  I still can't figuer out what it was all about.  Our relationship has changed in just the short six weeks since I have had surgery, and it bothers me.  

I don't think it is my personality that has changed, I do not eat as much as I did (so I guess that makes me a little anti social), and food is not my main topic and neigther is my weight anymore, but to say my personality has changed I dont belive that.  Life has taken on a whole new meaning to me yes, but I am the same Happy person I have always been.. I think it is her perspective of me that has changed.. hers and many others.  And that leaves me feeling like no one really cared to begain with.  Were they just my friends bc I was the happy, fat girl? 

Ok so this was long I am sorry, but I really needed to get this off my chest.. and who better to share it with then people who have actually been where I am now and experienced the same life changes I have.. real friends I guess you can say.. that understand.. Thanks everyone for reading this.. I appreciate all of you.. 

Next time I am gonna blow the party off and just go hang with my OH buddies..( I missed time with the girls at Red Lobster, for what..)  I would of had a lot more in common there then I ever will again with the others!!

my weight stall is over.. I lost 9lbs this past week.  I didn't really change anything accept my attitude.  I stoped stressing about it and look it came right off.. yah.. I am so excited.. Can't weight to see the scale go down next week too..   Only 99 lbs till I reach my goal weight.. woot woot!!

OK I was right I was so worried for nothing.. went down at 8am to fix my insurance (I forgot to fill in the status report in December.. YICKS), had it reinstated by 11pm, and off to my appointment at 1pm.  I went in with a posative attitude.  Everything that day had been going smoothly, so I was posative this would as well.  I get back stand on the scale and it read 168 I just lost it, broke down in tears.  I was still up three pounds from three weeks ago.  I was prepared to hear the worst, by not meeting the expectations.  Suprisingly enough I was the one being hard on myself.  Diane reassured me that I was doing just fine. Even my blood work came back great.  I am getting enough protien and calcium.. yeah again worried for nothing..   I am down a total of 28 lbs since surgery, only one pound away from the goal for the month.  Even at that I left there feeling so down on myself, once again scared that I am gonna be that percent that this surgery does not work for, all I could think of was some big slice of cheese cake, but I knew that was off limits (sacred of that dumping) I would have to deal with this the 'Thin' way.  As I was driving home I got to thinking.. they did not take the 2 lbs off for my cloths, plus I was wearing my heavy shoes.. so all in all I am probably exactly where I was three weeks ago.. which means all in all I only hit a stall which is so normal right now anyways!!  So now I feel great!!  I can feel the differance in myself, my cloths are starting to fall off, I have so much more energy and I FEEL AWESOME!!  So now I have a whole new look on this!!  IT's gonna work for me too!! 

Tomorrow is my 1 month post op appointment with Diane.. I say Diane cuz I know that is who I will be seeing.. not Dr Coates..  And I am very nervouse.  I weighed myself last week and I was still up 3 lbs from the two previous weeks.  I know that your menstral can add weight, I thought that is what my 4 lbs was from.. but to keep it on a whole week later makes me very .  Plus she is going to be checking my blood work, that has me nervous too.. what if I am not getting enough vitamins for protein, or my iron is low, or my blood count has not gone back up.. wow I am just a wreck right now it seems..lol want to hear the best part though.. they called me today and apparently my insurance has been cancled.. so tomorrow morning bright and early I will be up dealing with all that stuff, in hopes it is taken care of before my appt at 1pm.  Maybe I will get lucky and all this stress will make me drop a few pounds.. .  I have been working out, so I know that will help a WHOLE lot.. I was so glad the day I could work out.. I climbed on my gazelle and away we went.. 45 min of excersize and I was so shocked that those 45 min went so fast I didnt have no problems doing the routine at all.  Then I climed off and I almost fell to the ground.. lol My legs were so numb.. I just walked it off and I was ok..  After that first day I had no problems.. I know if I had done 45 min straight pre op there is no way I would of survived.. would of had a heart attack or passed out from lack of oxigen.. strange how 1 means of helping you out can completely give you back every aspect of your life!!  What a blessing this surgery has been for me!!  Regardless if I dont lose the weight as fast as I would like.. I am still blessed..