MCGray

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I have now been pg for ten weeks. At times I feel as if the baby has it in for me and at other times I can't be more excited. We went in for our Two month Check up on the 1st of October and got to see the babys heart beat on the ultrasound monitor. I wanted to cry. They say as soon as a heart beat can be detected the chance of a miscarrage will decrease a lot. They also say the morning sickness is a good sigh as well. I am starting to show a little bit so I had to go out and buy maternaty clothes because I could not fit in any of my own clothing. I bought a hudge lot off of craigs list for ten dollars. Go ME!! We are having spencer watch Look whos talking to see how babies are made and where they come from. Figured it was a funny way to show him the process. Well anyways thats how I am doing now.

I am now over one year out and doing very well. I had a web meeting with my PA and we discussed the possiblities of me having another child. She said that Chris and I could start trying now. She said that I am at a good point in my weight loss that if I wanted to we could try. 

I am scared and excited about this. I kept telling people that I don't want another child because I don't want to gain the weight back that I have lost. It scares me very much so. My PA said that it was okay and that I should be fine. She said she would be with me through out the entire pregnancy. I am going to call my OBGYN and see if I can meet with him and go over the pg stuff. 

It took us so long last time to get pregnat that I don't think I will beable to get pg fast. I may have to go on medication and so forth. We shall see how everything goes and I will keep everyone updated. 

I also talked to my PA about heading up a support group in Toledo. She is very excited about it. '

I will try to keep everyone updated. 

Mel

Well two weeks ago last Friday I went into work and was told my contract has been terminated. (that would be the bad)

The good part is I was able to teach my son how to ride a two wheeled bike. We have went for many bike rides and he is doing quite well. 

I am afraid of being home again. Chris my hubby says that he would prefer me to stay home with Spencer and try to find a job that is working from home. I am frustrated. I went to college got a degree and now I am stuck at home. The thing that scares me the most is that the kitchen is two step away.  When I was working I would only bring the amount of food I am suppose to eat with me. That way I didn't over eat and I could control the intake of food better. Now that I do not have a job that is almost impossible.  ( this would be a bad!)

A good note I have lost 139lbs since June 26th 2007 and my one year surgi-versary is coming up. I wanted to have a big party and Hell I still might. 

This has been a good and bad note from MEL

Love ya all

 

Today is a great day :) The sun is out and It is beautiful!! I got off of work today and went for a bike ride. It was only around my block but it was enough to work up a small sweat. The experts online tell you that you should start off slow so I am. I may go out one more time tonight. The easter bunny bought me a new bike seat for my bike so now I can sit relax and enjoy me ride. I hope I inspire many to go out and hit the road on two peddle wheels. 

Lots of Love
Mel

I went in for my nine month appointment. She said I am doing great!! I told her I was concerned I was eating too much. She said I am eating the right amount of food for someone at my level. I have lost a total of 119 lbs and feel great. I told Amy (my PA) that I felt like exercising. I told her its like an erg I told her I haven't yet because the weather is so bad but my body is telling me to get up and do some sit ups. She said that’s normal. She told me my body is feeling better and my brain is trying to keep it that way. She said once I start exercising the rest of my weight will melt off. 

I am excited! I went out and bought a new bike seat for my bike and can not wait to start riding it. I feel like a new person. I can't explain it more than that. 

The bad side is because of my rapid weight loss I have released some bad hormones and feel like I am pregnant. I told Amy I am having hot flashes, mood swings, and other hormonal feelings. She said it was normal and put me on an antidepressant for a couple of months to see if it helps. Chris was happy to hear that. He says he was about ready to refill an old Prozac order and force it down my thought (he was kidding).

Other than that I am doing great. I am thinking about holding a big party around my one year mark to celebrate my recovery and my new future. I have people who have told me I took the easy way out. If that’s the case then I am proud of my decision to take care of my body and my health this way. My family and I eat healthier and enjoy our lives more now than ever. 

My wonderful husband has also been studily lossing weight. More so now. We are now losing at the same rate. I am 230 and Chris is 232. I told him I am in the lead :) We kid like that all the time. 

Chris says he is ready to have more children. I told him he will have to weight until I have lost all the weight this surgery will allow me to loose. I think having a baby right now would be very hard on me and my body. I don't know how I will be able to keep my protein up and vomit down during the first couple of months. Plus I want to get into shape and tone up before I get pregnant I am looking forward to having a nice round pregnancy belly with out the apron to hold on to. 

Plus the extra cost of fertility drugs deters me away. We were paying 175 dollars a month before to try to have a kid and it didn't work. I don't want that extra cost right now. With Spencer starting school and so forth I feel I should let him have his year of glory. Even though Spencer wants to be a big brother so badly. He sees Gus and Marissa (his cousins) and gets jealous that Gus is a big brother and he is not. I know when its time for us to make our family grow God will tell us. 

I am also scared of getting pregnant. I have lost so much weight and am very very happy with where I am I am afraid to gain more weight back. That is something I will face in the future right now I am happy that God has blessed me with my wonderful family and friends. 

I am glad I am able to provide support to other bariatric patients and help them along their journey like so many are helping me along mine. 

God Bless All 
Mel

I wanted to let everyone know The past two days I have been doing a lot better with my dehydration. I have been drinking Decaf Ice Tea by the Liter. That is helping a lot. I can tell some of the back pain is disipating.
 Just FYI

Okay I was looking at my blog and realize how much I wine. I am such a baby. I thought today I would post a happy moment. It took place a couple of days ago but I was Excited when it happened. 

I had to take a visit to my OBGYN to get an Ultrasound because of some Cyst on my Ovaries. ( okay that was bad but just wait). While I was laying on the table the Nurse walks in and says Boy you have lost a lot of weight  since the last time I seen you. I said yup 116 lbs. I told her about the surgery and how it has changed my life. When she began the procedure she asked me how much abs exercises I was doing. I told her none. She stopped and looked at me and said well you have the most well toned body I have seen after someone who has lost that much weight. 

GO ME!  GO ME!

The best part is I DIDNT HAVE TO HOLD MY BELLY UP FOR THE ULTRA SOUND !!!  That was a big WOW moment for me.

I have been fighting with dehydration for a couple of months now. I just can not seem to get in all my fluids. Now I am sick (common Cold) and it is much harder for me to eat and get in fluids. I get worried that something bad can go wrong. 

Mel on the worried path :)

There has been a couple of times that I wished to be on an IV in order to bring up my fluid intake. I can not seem to do it. I mostly miss out because I forget to drink water or other beverages. I did okay when I would take a Gatorade, isopure, and bottle of water to work however the price on these items are very high now days. My isopure is close to 60 dollars a case now. I can not afford that. 

O well that is my monthly gripe. 

Other than that little set off I am doing good. I am now down 116 pounds and have more energy than I think I should. I told my husband I wanted to start training for a bike a thon. He laughed at me until he found out I was serious. He told me if I can bike up to 50 miles a day he would purchase the new bike and equipment for me. I will do it and any fellow bariatric patients that want to go in with me come on down. Once the weather breaks I am going to start my training. It should be loads of fun. I plan on taking a biking class to learn more about riding a bike properly on roads and such. 

May god bless you all in your weight loss journey.

Mel

I keep getting reminded that I am eating the wrong foods. Nobody sat me down and showed me how much I can eat and how much I can't. I am mad that I can handle most sugar and fat. I wish I couldn't eat carbs at all. I am so affraid of returning to the weight I was at when I started my weight loss journey. I continue to pray and hope that I can control myself. I keep getting told to eat six small meals a day. How do I do this? I wish  I would have had the chance to walk in a weight loss persons shoes before the surgery. I think it would better prepare me for what I am suppose to be doing now. I know that at the end of my year journey I can gain weight back. I don't want to. I have such a problem with eating. I can't stop and I get upset about it. I NEED TO STOP!!!!! 

Then it comes down to the exercise issue. I wish I had someone to go to the gym with me. I can't find anyone. I feel at times I am on this journey by myself because I have very little help.  

I wish everyone would stop feeding me the bad foods and help with making an effort to eat right with me. I don't want the PIZZA but if that is the only food we have in the house then thats what I eat. I work really hard at trying to keep the junk food out of my house but it is hard. I crave it and it hurts me everytime. The cravings are so bad I can't handle eating anything good. People think I over react and that I don't eat that much so why am I worried about it. 

I EAT TO MUCH!!

I know I eat to much more than I should. At times I can't stop myself. The other day I ate three pices of pizza. Now tell me that is not a lot of food. Then I had to listen to my husbend tell me he ate four and he felt like he ate to much. What does that say about me a person who has gone through this surgery and has done everything she possible can to stop gaining weight and now she is back on the path to distruction. 

I think I need mental help. I feel like I am stuck in a rut when it comes to eating. I tried AMY's (physician assistant) way of eating just lunch meat but I found myself still being overly hungry for dinner and coming home eating whatever I saw. How can I reprogram my brain. My body didn't react to the surgery like most. I can eat anything. I feel like it was a waste at times when it comes to teaching yourself what you can and cannot eat. 

I feel like some serious issues are going to come out of this that I don't think I am ready for. 

I need to exercise but I don't have the motivation and no one behind me to help. My husband is to much involved with himself to help me with the exercise. 

Well now people can see my thought process and the fact that not every aspect of this surgery is glorious. 

Would I take back the surgery. NO but am I upset that I can't train myself not to eat like the hog I was before. YES I guess its a win loss sinario here. 

I have made the six month mark and now can claim my 100lb weight loss :)

I am doing good according to my physician however I need to lay off the carbs and sugar. Thats hard but I know I can do it. She also told me to try eating six small meals a day and not three big meals. She said I will eat less and feel a lot better. 

Okay so I have lost a total of 106 lbs since my consultation visit in March. In the past three months I lost 18 lbs which puts me at 243 lbs. 

I am excited I haven' t been this low since middle school. GO ME !!!

Lots of Love