MissNilsa

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Hello Folks,

I am checking in with you and hoping that we each find little pieces of success in whatever we need this year.

I am hoping to literally be able to force myself into the gym.  There is no other way because I am convinced that I hate it there.   I used to live for the gym before I gained the weight, ultimately leading me to need WLS.  That's one thing.   I would also like to work on maybe moving to a nicer place and doing a better job at work, though I do a good one now.

Little improvements are huge, believe it or not.

Trying to stay positive.

Best, to everyone.

/nilsa

So today is my 1st year bandiversary!   I feel so good though i have a long way to go.   every day i get leaner and stronger and faster, sort of bionic actually, LOL (not).

I'm so glad I did this.  No turning back, except i have to stop with the ice cream.  I would have lost it all by now - if not for that!

good luck to all my friends here at OH.

Thank you,
Nilsa

Oh how horrible.   Had a salad sandwich today.   Worst stuck episode to date.  I was in the bathroom trying to clear up for a long time.   I now feel a little tighter and hope that nothing severe happened to me or the band.   I don't feel so good in terms of my stomach.  It bothers a bit and I hope it is just the muscle being a little sore and not anything to be concerned about.

On another note, I weighed myself today and according to the scale, I have lost 30-32 lbs since I had the surgery (or beginning pre op diet).   For some reason I think that the scale is not accurate.  I find it hard to believe that I lost that much so far because my loss was so slow and I have been having my occassional liquid dream haagen daz!  Not proud of that last fact but truth is truth.

I hope the scale is telling the truth.  I have to check on another scale to be sure.  It would certainly be cool if it has been that much of a loss!

until then......

I went for my second fill on October 9.   Dr. Fielding did not want to give me the fill because he said that he didn't see it was necessary because I lost 7 lbs since September 18 (first fill).  I insisted on a small fill.  He gave me just 1 cc.  

I guess I could stand to feel better about the loss but the truth is I could have done better.

I found out that chicken nuggets are a no no now.  Today I got miserably stuck on 1 chicken nugget.     This fill is restrictive.     Funny; one thing that I was expecting in terms of having this surgery was restrictiveness by way of feeling full.   I'm told that restriction is that which i've just described.... where you get stuck on things.   Maybe i'm wrong - not sure yet.

I'm down to 219 now.  From 239 when I started the liquid pre op diet.

I'm glad about it; but I need to get the exercise in and stop bitching already.  Oh yeah and I have to stop eating the occasional ice cream; though Dr. Fielding said it was fine, so long as I wasn't having an entire pint.

Until next time.

I've been feeling a little angry for a couple of days and can't put my finger on the real reason quite yet.   I'm not sure if its because I want to wake up skinny, or that my clothes are just now starting to get a little loose and I kind of feel like I should be down a size already.   Not sure about anything but I feel quite SHADY.

Whatever the reason, I have to remember minute by minute that I should not let it get to me because that could trigger some serious eating and maybe even a drink - which almost never happens because I don't ever really drink much.

I'm ready for another fill.  I'm not exactly hungry but I could eat more than what i'm supposed to and damn it, I want my restriction on point!

In addition to feeling lighter, I am lighter as of this morning because every pound counts.  I woke up and another pound was gone.   I want it to keep on going.  I am syked.  I'm a believer

This morning I ate a little oatmeal but not the entire plate.  For lunch I tried a small piece of fish, as always; and it is sad but the fish is getting hard to eat; maybe because of the way I've been cooking it.  I hope that is the reason.

I went out to a restaurant today and I ate 1 meatball with tomato sauce on it; and a little pasta (cannelloni with cheese).  The pasta is a bit scary because i felt it going down.  Didn't get stuck but it did hurt a bit going down.   Wasn't soft enough I guess.  

Anyway, I only ate one of them or 1/2 of one.

Felt pretty satisfied, so lets see what happens this week.   I have 15 lbs to loose by thanksgiving for my challenge..... god i hope i make it.

So today i actually understand this restriction thing.  I can finally think about this in a way that coincides with what i've heard so much about on these lapband support sites.

two eggs with cheese, scrambled.  

I sat down to eat them and I only ate half.   What the hell?  LOL -- I'm really excited.  Never did I ever do that unless the food sucked.

This is getting more exciting by the second.  It is only my first restriction and just last night I was questioning my body; because i'm still learning my new system, post band.

I think I have arrived.     I am thrilled.

/n.

As of this morning, I think I lost about 3 lbs this week.  If my scale is telling me the truth.

I have to say I don't like the feeling of eating now.   I mean, the food tastes ok and all that stuff but I hate the way anything, liquid or not, feels on the way to the stomach.     I am hoping that this feeling will subside a bit because I would hate to think that this is the way the band works.... by making you not like to eat because of how it feels physically. 

I have been lucky though.  No vomitting or PB'ing or any of that unpleasantness that many describe.

every day a little stronger.

All I have to say is that it felt really really weird.  I didn't expect to feel something physical before even sitting up.

Wow!

Originally the big day was August 13, the day I was banded.  Now the big day is September 18 because i get my first fill with my surgeon in the afternoon.

sooooo I hope this fill makes the difference for me; because up to now, i'm not feeling very positive about myself.

Maybe it will be great.    Maybe I will have to wait and see for the next fill.

.....  and the beat goes on