Muffin22

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Last Thursday I went in for a sclero therapy.  It seems my food is emptying too fast and I'm constantly hungry although I'm loosing the weight.  Well, I go in and there is some questions still circling around in my head as this procedure was scheduled for me without an office visit just as a follow up from what the upper GI showed.  My concern here was because someone on here stated they had to go back to phases again.  I just wanted to make sure that was it.  However, as soon as the nurse began to speak to me she said if you did not know you're going to be in a lot of pain when you wake up.  I'm not a pain person so I began to get nervous because I hadn't mentally prepared myself for pain.  I'm sure by this time my heart rate was elevated.  They were trying to find a vein for the IV and could not get one because they said I seemed to be dehydrated.  that is possible.  I started to pray and panic all at once.  Panicking because everything that seemed so simple was now becoming complicated.  I have very small veins so they had to use one they would use on an infant.  No surprise there for me.  Anyway, I'm wheeled into the room to have the procedure done.  Now, I've had endoscopy's done previously without any problems.  Everything looked good and I was administered the pain med in the IV, then the anesthesia and the gas mask.  Off to la la land I went.  Only the 10 minute procedure had taken longer than 10 mins.  I woke 3 hours later puking up flem and water since I hadn't eaten or drank anything since the day before.  The nurse came running over to me and called to the other nurse that I was puking.  She gave me something to catch what I hadn't caught with the blanket.  She proceeded to tell me the doctor needed to speak with me.  Now, If your doctor has no beside manner you can forget getting a straight answer.  This is what happened to me.  The nurse had explained that they were not able to finish the procedure because I stopped breathing.  WHAT!?  HUH, not breathing.... well the doctor came and told me the same and said I had to be resuscitated.  Yep that's what I said resuscitated.  Now panic and fear set in.  But more so pain in my chest as opposed to pain in my stomach.  I asked them if they had called my ride and they told me no.  Not knowing what to expect since no one thought it was a big deal except me I wanted to go home.  I still had to remain another hour before they would let me go then another 30 mins to that hour.  Well I leave and go immediately to the pharmacy to fill the prescription for pain meds.  My friends that picked me up told me I looked so drugged up and out of it that they were a little worried. I politely told them I had stopped breathing on the table and needed to be resuscitated.  Alarm went off in their head but they said nothing either.  My chest hurt so bad all weekend long.  On Monday I had to have an x-ray, I guess was ok no call back from the doctor.  Oddly enough with all the pain she said Tylenol.  thank God my surgeon knew i would be in more pain and gave me something a little more stronger.  I found out the reason I was hurting to eat was because I had an ulcer and am now taking meds for.  I have to go back in a month to try this all over again.   Am I going?  Yes, I am.  I know that God is not finished with me yet.  He just had to get my attention that I always need to be ready when he comes.  There is a song that says be ready when he comes, oh be ready when he comes.  He may not come when you want him to but he'll be there right on time.  Oh, oh be ready when he comes.  It goes on further saying don't let him catch with your work undone.  Now that is something that sits home with me right now.  He has given me the opportunity to start life anew mind body and soul.  So I know I need to use the gift he's given me for his good only.  I'll give you guys an update next month after I come out.  I am now down 116 lbs.  Praise God for the blessings.  For those who say they love taking pictures I do too, Whole body shots what is that.  I LOVE ITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!

Hey Everyone, I had an awesome week last week.  My mom was here visiting for me to do my first sermon and God Showed up and used me tremendously.  I preached from Matthew 9:9-11 "God Calls A Sinner"  my central focus was how the religious elite questioned the disciples about Jesus having dinner with the sinners.

I also wore the same dress I wore for Mother's day and it fit better than it did a month ago with two girdles on under neath.  I had on a body girdle and then I put on one for my thighs also.  A whole mess.  This Sunday it was loose and free with nothing but me and the regular underwear underneath.  I know TMI.  I just wanted to share.  I got so many compliments and I'm getting I didn't know who you were.

My mom kept commenting on my look.  She hadn't seen me since October at my highest weight.  I'm now the size I was 5 years ago.  Thank God I kept somethings in all those sizes.  I packed up clothes and sent them off tot he big brother's big sister bins.  It felt great.

I really need to get motivated about this exercise thing.  I think I could have lost even more inches if I was committed to exercising.  Someone give me their opinion on both sides of the fence.  In my heart I know I need to be consistent with the exercise.  Well my daughter will be leaving next week for 6 weeks for her summer job, so I need to quit making excuses and do the darn thing.

Ok, I know it seems like I'm talking to myself, that's because I am... I am going to stop making excuses and do me no matter what.  Starting today.

Hi all, I visited the doctor on Friday and i'm down 83 lbs (53 since surgery).  The doctor says I'm a little above the range but kept stressing the exercise.  I do go to the gym, just not every day.  He believes I should go everyday to keep me in the habit once the weight start to slow down.  He says the more I exercise the better the metabolism.  So  I will add another day and gradually make it to 7 days.  I just acquired a machine for home so that will help on those days that it's just impossible to go.  Nonetheless, this is a goal.  He does not want me to gain the weight back.  I do see people and have clients call in for disability that has had the surgery and now are going back to have the lap band.    Nonetheless, don't let me burst no one's buble.  I know he was telling me right however, I just didn't want to hear all of that.  Real Talk I know.

I have 3 days before my 2 month visit.  I have to come back so soon because of the second surgery I had to open my passage way so I could get food and drinks in.  Well that slowed down my weight loss but not much.  I am so happy now.  I still have problems with keeping some stuff down but I kinda know once it hits my tongue what will and what won't work.  I'm drinking a lot more now also. So things are better.  I go to my 2 month visit on Friday and I my scale has me down 83 lbs total  I'll report what the dr.'s scale said when I come back.  Our scales are really close my scale maybe 1.5 lbs lower.

I am so excited, I'm now in a 24 comfortably and my bra size keeps shrinking .    I'm not too upset as long as they remain larger than the belly.  LOL.  It was such a good feeling to go in the store and know they would have my size and for me not to keep looking till I found a 30 or a 32.  Those pants and tops now swollow me up.  Some of my old 26 pants are hanging off.  I can still pull that off for now with a belt and a big top.  But you know what I don't want no big top on.  I am in a 22/24 top and it looks great on me.  I have so much more energy now.  I find if I'm not drinking I do get a bit dizzy.

So now I went out clubbing with a friend who had the surgery 11 mos ago. and  she has been getting all kinds of attention from the men while I sat there and looked on.  Let me tell you I was the show stopper and I believe it was this new found confidence I have in myself.  I'm little by no means but I feel better about myself and that's what counts.  She could not believe it.  All she could say was well, well, well.  I really don't know what that meant but hey why worry what other's think.

I'm wearing pretty dresses and cute clothes now.  I'm learning exactly how much I can eat.  I just hate when people who know a little about the procedure keeps telling me that I'm eating too much or asking how can you eat that.  Honestly and no lie because I don't have to lie here we all know what we go through although each of us is different.  I can eat once a day a total of about a cup of food right now.  I can drink all day though, so I just keep it to the unsweetened decaf tea.  I have 64 oz of that at work and then home i sip on a bottle of water.  I can't eat too late for some reason.  The keytones finally left me the heck alone.  yeah!!!

So now I'm pretty much in the swing the exercise is picking up also.  I need to really get serious with it though because I'm loosing pounds but not inches as fast.  I feel If I stepped the work out  up some more I will see better results.  Anyhow, I hope all of you are doing well.  Have a great week and stay blessed. 

I go back to work next week, I really didn't want to but now, I feel it's a need.  I've pretty much turned into mush.  I'm feeling a lot better.  As a minister I can always see the light at the end.  Well I didn't feel that way i felt like I was dying and wished I never did the surgery.  I was so miserable back and forth to the ER for fluids because I couldn't keep anything down and almost everything made me puke the smells and taste we so awful.  Now as the bible say this too shall pass.  Praise God.

I'm now a month out and down 64 lbs.  I'm so happy, I'm working out and have more energy than a little bit.  I still have trouble eating and drinking but that is not so bad anymore.  When I started being able to eat and drink I would eat and drink grapefruit juice and eat collard greens.  Man oh man I was ecstatic.  I eat a lot of fruit bars.  I gained 10 lbs the week I started eating but now I'm back on track as I assume by body is functioning the way it should.  My insulin intake has been limited so much.  I'm learning the things I can take and can't take.  I had a small sandwich yesterday and found that if I cut the crust off I am able to tolerate the bread.  Also I can't eat any kind of meat in the whole form.  I have to cook it till it shreds.  I eat so much soup now that I don't feel weird buying that much or even ordering it when i go out.  I love the look on the waitresses face when I order a cup of soup and that's it.  LOL  never to mention my bill is so much smaller now.

I have a real problem though, I go to the grocery store everyday.  I use to hate to go to the grocery store.  It was such a task.  but now I have this thing in my head that I can still eat those things I did before and would go out and buy it.  Well needless to say I have full cabinets and a full freezer.  I know it's in my head so continue to pray with me that my thinking changes. 

I go back to the hospital next week for dilation so that they can open my opening to my pouch bit more.  This scares me.  I don't want to gain weight as I see it's so easy to put it back on.  I'm quite comfortable with the way things are now.  Well those are the brakes (old skool rap...lol)  We'll see how that goes.  This is definitely a journey.

Anyhow, I just wanted to drop in and let everyone know how things are going for me.... oh yeah, I can get into the clothes I wore two years ago, a 3X t-shirt is now loose on me and those 26/28 tops are also loose around the belly.  I'm also loosing my big boobs.  I guess they were fat. 

Stay blessed and thank you for being my friends during this journey.  I really appreciate you all.  My sistah that lost your mom.  May God continue to bless your family and may you find comfort in know that she is at peace and that he will continue to take care of you.  My sympathy is with you and your family at this time along with my prayers. 

Well, I've been home for 4 days now.  I remember last week I was so pre-occupied with what I needed to get done before I left so that everything would be in order for me when I got home.  I didn't fall asleep until around 1 or 2 am.  When I finally slept I continued praying in my sleep and then it was time to get to the hospital.  I was the first to arrive for my group.  I got ID and things started rolling.  The only time I was scared was when the anesthesiologist told me she would be breathing for me.  I was concerned that I would wake up because I have had minor surgeries in past and woke up during them.  All I remember is being willed into the operating room the cocktail they gave me before I went in and the mask being put over my nose and mouth.  The next thing I know it was like 3.5 hours later and I was in recovery and they were trying to find me a room upstairs.  I was told that everything went well.  I had gas pains so bad at the hospital and at home.  I welcomed the walk because I could burp when I walked.  It's 7 days now and I still have gas but it's minor.  I really did need the pain killers for the pain in my back and the soreness of the site where the drain was. The incisions are itching so I know that means that they are healing.  I'm having some trouble with the sipping enough.  Because I'm still tired I am sleeping a lot.  I am walking at anytime just to get the walks in.  I would have to stay up all night just to get the right amount of protein in.  I don't go back to the doctor until this coming Friday.  I assume by then the incisions will be healed.  Through all the pain I'm still happy I did this. 

I don't have to tell anyone how excited I am.  Most people keep asking if I'm scared but I'm not.  I believe in God with my whole heart and know this is not the way he's going to bring me home.  I'm actually glad he has more work for me to do that he has allowed me to have this surgery.  I'm really psyched about the weight I already lost.  I lost 125 lbs when I first was diagnosed with diabetes.  I was scared to eat.  Amazingly i kept it off for 10 years.  The diabetes got worse and the doctor I had no other alternative except this one pill or insulin.  Since I was afraid of needles i chose this pill.  You would not believe how the weight was coming on.  I remember one week I actually gained 20 lbs.  another  week was 15.  I was so upset.  I didn't know what to do.  I went to the gym and lost 1 lb.  I did weight watchers and did really good on it but got lazy with all the preparing the meals before hand. I have been on this liquid diet to shrink my liver and the shakes are think and I'm busy that they are just running into each other.  For joy, so I rarely realize the hunger, home is a totally different story.  Here I'm not as busy so I have to get creative with the jello and drinks.  Never to mention I have to cook actual food for the family.  That's hard.  I can't wait.  Please pray for me and Dr. Barba and the surgical staff that all goes well and that God continue to show up in the hospital room.