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So a lot has happened. I am now 190. I was at and stayed at 140 a long time, until I got pregnant with my third and last child, Mackenzie. I gained 80 pounds with her and sadly I kept half the weight on. When I found out I was pregnant I was at my lowest of 137. 

140 was my goal. It isn't realistic anymore but I'd like to keep it as my goal always. I am so thankful that I has this done almost 6 years. I've been threw a lot, my body has been threw a lot. I had high expectations before but now I really am just thankful. 

I will tell you more about life in a little I am going to try and find some pictures to upload because I don't have many after pictures. 

wow, lots has happened. some good, but mostly bad. in may I had to have my gal bladder removed because I had a lot of pain in my side only to find out it was gal stones.  April, my house burnt to the ground, my daughter and I were in the house at the time and had to excape out of a window, my dog didn't make it out :( She was a part of my family for 6 years. We moved in with my mom and in October her basement flooded and that's where we slept and that was more stuff was lost. I lost more weight, I see the weight loss but I don't really see it, its been replaced by loose skin. I know I'm much heathlier over 100 pounds less but my head just doesn't want to say that I am happy with what I did when all i can see is skin, skin and more skin. My ass skin is even hanging down.  I can start to see my neck bones, that I like. I am starting to get rashes on my extra skin but my insurance wont pay for any plastic surgery right now. I have medicare now. I hate it.

My mom had Dr. Ku from the reading hospital, he is amazing. He actually called me after her surgery to let me know she was doing well and that she was awake. She in a lot of pain still. I am so jelous over her hospital stay, it was everything mine was not. She didn't have the needle ing the neck, she only had one IV I had two in my left arm and one in my right. She was up and walking, I was in ICU for 3 days and no one helped me get up or walk. Her room was updated, mine wasn't. I love my doctor but I didn't love the hospital stay.

She is having a hard time with dry heaving, which I also had. It's been a while since I had to throw up. I did a lot of throwing up. It is just horrible. I am addicted to ICE TEA now I have to have it every day.

My hair is falling out left and right, My hair look horrible too because it just breaks off where ever it want. It looks like my hair was burnt. But I aint worried. God has a plan and I have to accept it.

It makes me laugh at some of the people say about gastric bypass or any type of weight loss surgery. Where are they getting this information? Some of it is commen sence. This is why I didn't tell people that I was going to do it because I knew there were going to be people out there who where going to tell me untrue nonsence where or not I wanted to hear it. It's crazy. I would never force what I believe and what I know on someone unless they asked for it.

I am 17 weeks post op now. Almost 4 months. I can not believe its been that long. It was a daily struggle but it's been worth it. I am between 209 and 214 the past week. I can't believe I was ever 285. I just can't wrap my mind around being 140 or even 190. Ideally I want to be 170 where I was most of my life before I was 220 but  my goal is 140. That will be in the upper part of a healthly BMI.

My myspace page is www.myspace.com/devonklotz and I have an xanga, my name on there is mommylovesshawney if anyone is interested in adding me to either one.

My mom is getting her gastric bypass right now as I type. I am so stressed out. I want someone to call me and tell me she is alright. I had to be with my daughter today, she too had to have surgery. Can you imagine a 2 year old all doped up, cranky and tired as can be, and on top of that I want to know how my mom is doing. I would have been there if I could.  

When I started my bmi was 48.9 and today it's 37.4. I am finally seeing it. I am almost at an 85 pound lost and it hasn't been 4 months yet. I am happy.

The past week or so has been so freaking hot, I'm not used to the heat and it knocks me out sometimes. I drink drink drink and drink some more but I still felt like blacking out a few times.
My week started out bad but I am feeling some what better emotionally. I am down to 221 pounds, I was 285 12 weeks ago, Who would have ever thought!
I have something weird happening. People think I'm gross but they just dont understand. My legs at the top are huge, very big. Now that I have lost some weight, my shaggy leg fat up at the top shakes when I walk, it makes me unblanced  and it makes me feel like I am walking on sand and of course my leg fat is rolling over my knees. Gross I know. But I don't know what to do about it. Nothing I can do right now I guess. My legs where always big.

Nothing new, nothing old. Just nothing has happened really.

I don't know why I can't see it because I don't. I lost a ton of weight and I just can't see it. Life is getting better. I had one bad day this week but it was no fault of my own. I went to Dunkin' Donuts and ordered an ice tea with 6 splendias in it, well I drank it an a little while later, I  felt like I was going to pass out, I got really hot and couldn't see right. It was horrible, I couldn't believe that they did that to me, they've done this to be before to my mom. There are no words to explain how I felt.

I am losing my hair like you wouldn't believe, I am ready to shave my head and buy a wig. I've always wanted to shave my head, never had a reason to. I think I'll cry.
I am post op 10 weeks. Life is good. I can eat anything I want, but I pretend like I can't have sugar even though I know I can. I just don't want it. The only thing that makes me really really sick is fat. Yuck.

I'm 9 weeks post op, almost 10 weeks now. I made some mistakes, I've ate too much, I've ate the wrong thing, I've missed appointments  (my son was in the er at the time) . It's getting easier everyday. I was not in any pain after the first week, the worst of my pain was right after I woke up from surgery, The more I moved, the better I've felt.