norcalbrod

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ok so to start off hey all its been awhile. I am 150 lbs down and feeling great. I still see a fat girl but that takes time. so I thought I would be open and honest to you all. I just got out of rehab I was highly addicted to narcotic pain killers, I couldnt get enough and I needed help. So I did it and I am feeling great I been clean now for 2 weeks, I wont say I havent had cravings I have had alot of crap happen to me over the last 2 weeks. I dont know god or nothen but someones testing me big time. ok so anyway yes I got help then they put me on a bunch of phyc meds and I kicked all that to MIND OVER MATTER and I got a stong mind so I can do it. durning all this I had to deal with a very close friend and one of us who got addict to drinking and he got in a very bad wreck and killed someone drunk. so now his life is out of his own hadnds, its sad to see but I know there are others like us out there that know all it takes is a little now and we feel good then we start doing it  all the time and then BOOM your addiction transfere has hit. so i hope this gets to my friends thats the update on me right now I will be trying my harest to make it to this months meeting i really think there needs to be more info about addiction transfere cause it does happen to the best of us. love ya all

Wow I cant belive how fast time has flown by. And yes I will be changing my pic soon, we go to our x-mas party tommorow night and I got a hot little black number I will be wearing, I cant belive I have lost 100lbs in 6 months, my bmi is actually like a real persons now I actually feel kinda like a normal person to, I am still kinda having a hard time seeing the smaller me cause I have been big for so long all I see is the big girl still but I am working on it. I have weird little things like I go to cough and grab my tummy and all of a sudden I am like wow theres not a big ole belly there. Its a nice feeling, and being able to rake the yard and play basketball with the kids walk as far as I need to and be able to jump a fence or get up on the bars its amazing, i am really glad I did have this surgery, I am still on the previcid and carfate for the ulcer that is said I have but if I am not on the meds my pouch feels like a empty kinda pain its weird and hard to explain but oh well I thought Id update. Hope you all have a very merry christmas.

ok so I been needing to ge me some clothes cause everything is just getting big everywhere. i have lost 91 lbs so far and I went to go clothes shopping and check it out i cant shop in the plus size no more it was all to big, I couldnt belive it, Yesterday i bought me and the girls jamies and i just grabbed me a xl thinking ok this should be fine nope i coulda got a large and been comfy maybe a medium in a month or so, lol but my hubby says i cant buy nothen unless i try it on now. so tonight we ran up to walmart and i was looking around and oh yeah baby i am shopping in the girls area and wearing and fitting nicely in to 14/15 i cant belive it, i am so happy and proud, i did find myself finding low fat foods like treats cause i am missing that while everyone else is eating pies and fudge and everything i miss so i am doing good with surgar free and low fat stuff, i got a no sugar no fat fudge i am going to make tommorow i am just finding that you have to be smart and creative to survive this.

I am watching the ticker on my weight go lower and lower I love it, so we are goin to santa cruz and i will fit on all the rides I have hit a goal 75lbs off this girl forever. they are treating me for a bleeding ulcer which would show why I been in so much pain, but i am gettin better, i still dont eat much i cant keep alot down, but I am starting to finally be happy with results I am seeing. so just wanted to update my ticker and look at it, hehehe i was bmi 51 now i am 37 wow thats a good one. Oh and I want to say thanxs to all my OH friends I love you all and love the support you all give me even when I am down.

well I aint gotta worry about fitting on rides next weekend we are cancelling the trip due tto my 11 year old. she is putting us thur hell and I cant take it anymore, I dont know if its this surgery or stress thats causeing me to be sick constanly or what. I am kinda worried cause I either dump all the time or throw it up or I get woke up in the middle of the night to stabbing pains. i am kinda regreting this that I did to myself for my health. I felt beter yes fatter but better just on alot of pills back in june, now i am lighter colder smaller sicker and madder what the hell is this life even for, I feel like crawling in a hole and hidin till i get all better if i ever do. but thanxs to all my new friends and the support you all give I do take your advice sometimes.

WOW can you belive its already been 12 weeks, I cant . Life is so different now, I am still finding myself to eat shit food every now and then, Like pizza, i like pizza. I call that crap food. Anyway I am 65 lbs down and in october we are going to go to beach board walk for the weekend. I am going to attempt to go on rides, Thats been my big goal was to fit on rides again, and I think I will this time, I am scared I dont want the embarrasment of having to walk back down the line cause i couldnt fit, but I have one more month to work my butt off, I am at another platue right now, I dont own a scale cause thats dumb but I think i will head into town today and jump on moms just to check, I have went from a 26/28 down to a 18 i got one pair of 16 that i can fit to, i think it all depends on the clothes, but I haven't been able to buy that size in prolly 11 years, WOW  I know, other that that I am still working on getting in all water and protein and food, I have good days and I have bad, I hear it takes 6 months before you know what you can and cant have so hopefuuly by then i get this all down. To anyone looking to have this surgery all i got to say is theres alot to it, It not just a quick stomach staple and life goes on. Nope its not like that at all, theres alot involved, but I am glad I did it.

hey everyone just a quick note I am almost 8 weeks out and 51lbs down, I feel good I got a little deppression going on but ill get that delt with so no worries about me. my clothes are all getting big I have went from a 28 to a 22 which is awsome I love it i got a long way to go but I'll do it, I cant wait for bathing suit shopping next summer oh that will be fun. I am haveing a hard time being creative with eating but ill figure that out to, time it just takes time.

Well ta da I made it, I am over two weeks out and and doing a whole lot better. I have days where I feel like I have lost a friend but I know thats the choice I made to be a happier healthier person. I am down 32 lbs and starting to feel it. My panties are all getting to baggy which is a good feeling its funny looking but good feeling. I have had people notice weight loss on me and that a good feeling to. It's hard for me cause I look and still see a cow and then you have people say your looking so good and I am like ok whatever, tell me that when I am at 150lbs hehehehe which I am hoping for by christmas. i got lots of work to do cause I got a really nice work out machine in the garage but I cant get to, so thats my big chore gotta clean the garage. By the end of August.......................ill keep ya updated.

ok so I am a week out and have had people tell me I am melting like a candle, no I dont see it but hey you are never your best judge, My mouth always taste like crap which is gettin old I went and bought a butt load of gum, I hope this goes away, I am doing pretty good, now that I am not sick anymore. I just cant wait to go get on a scale to see any loss, they say watch you clothes well if my left side didnt hurt so bad I would get dressed but its so hot I rather stay inside in my night gown and the a/c, I rented 10 movies and have only watched one, my mother n law has been here to help the whole time so thats been great she is leaving monday and I am a tad scared to be alone, but hey you got to remember this is my first sugery ever and wow it was hard I wouldnt say I would do it again right now but hey ask me that in a month. k uncomfy ill write more later.

oh my gosh today is Monday my surgery is this Friday I cant belive it wow, yes I am having 2nd 3rd and 4th thoughts about all this but I am strong and I want this new life. This liquid diet crap sucks I know that I cant wait till I get to have 2oz of cottage cheese, or a tad bit of chicken or a tad bit of something. The jello and the pudding works I mean it is a more solid type of food and I love the sugar free pudding. My husband has been awsome support. Everyone is proud of me. I am having to try to stay busy so i aint hungry, and I been walking or riding my bike every night, My mother n law is comming to stay for a week to help me with the kids which is super nice but now I am stressed out over cleaning the house and shampooing the rug so I got to get that done. I have been in a lot of pain in the morning for some reason i dont know if it from adding exercising into my life or what but dang my back and hips feel broken. I cant wait to drop 40 -60 lbs I will feel so much better.So ok well I got stuff to do hope to see you all at support group wed.