queenlala_bee

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 ok so i am 2 weeks post op and i can get a bath sheet all the way around my body... yaaay. next stop to be able to usr=e a normal bath towel.  i will take the small goal though... wow.

 so i just got out of the bath and i was reminded of a peeve of mine.  i hate that bath towels do not even fit around my thigh let alone my torso, so i buy bath sheets and they fit around my torso but they gape halfway down.  i look forward to the day when a towel will fit all the way around my body.

ok so the second part of this rant entails people who think they are being helpful and concerned but are really being ignorant.  i think i am gonna rant on my vlog about this in more detail this coming week but... i really hate it when people say to me lately "wow you have been losing a lot of weight by just changing your diet and excersising, maybe you do not have to have the surgery at all, have you thought of that?"  i realize that these people are trying to be helpful and i appreciate their concern, but to ask me if i have thought of it?  do they really think i am just going into this process blindly and have not weigh all the pros and cons and possiblilities?  i have lost a significant amount of weight many times during my adolescent and adult life, only to gain it back and then some... i am doing this so as to add another tool to my weight loss plans.  i will still be monitoring my diet and excersising, but i need a bit more help than maybe they do.  i have all sorts of snarky responses that go through my head but i plan to address these in a video so that all of you can get the true experience of how much this bugs me.  any thoughts?

 well i started my youtube channel in order to document my journey.

i am getting so excited and anxious, just 29 days to go... wow.  i am so excited in fact that i feel as if i am babbling.  i must be driving the people around me nuts!!!  oh well they can just ignore me i guess. :)

 i am trying to decide whether i should start a youtube channel to document my journey.  i do not have many wls friends yet but i am looking forward to making more.  problem is i hate hate the way i look on webcam.  i mean i look better now than i did 6 months ago, but all i see when i see myself is how fat i am.  i know i need to change this attitude, i am making a lot of progress, and do not get me wrong i do not think i am ugly by any means, i just do not translate to video well...

well i guess i will think on it.

 wow, once i met all the requirements this is happening very quickly!  so now i know when my surgery will be.  i would say that now i know when my new life will start but my new life started almost 6 months ago when i made the decision to pursue wls and change my eating habits permanently.  I have lost nearly 50 lbs so far and i really hope that i can lose at least another 75 before this time next year.

this is so surreal, and so terrifying.  i am really gonna do this. wow.  i hope i am making the right decision... i know i am am.  i just pray to God for strength and patience to get through this.  i pray there are no complications. 

i have been "chubby" since age 10 and obese since 16, i wonder what it will be like to be a "normal" weight?  the prospect is thrilling, and at the same time mortifying.  

her goes i guess...

Yaay!  We submitted for approval last week and I got the call today that I have been approved for surgery.  Now i need to pick a date and keep my fingers crossed that I can get the time I need off work.  I am excited and terrified all at once.