Shrinkingpeach

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I am 3 months post op in 2 days and am not really feeling excited. I made a major milestone today, i am 99.1kgs. Thats 44.9kgs lost since i started this whole process. I should be so excited that i made this goal today. But i am not. I seem to be lacking enthusiasm for everything. I am not sure if this is a normal phase during the weight loss process or if it is just me. In my head i think that by making this goal that i should be celebrating and jumping for joy.

I cant really notice the changes in my body. My clothes size has dropped. I can fit into an 18 now which is a massive change from squeezing into a 26, i had to buy stretchy material in the 26's or it wouldnt fit, and now i have a huge range of clothing that i can choose from. Still not excited about it. Perhaps the freezing cold weather is getting to me, or maybe i need to go speak to someone about how i am feeling. I just know that i need to do something to get out of this rut and be excited about losing weight again.

This is a bit of a pity post for myself. I dont mean it to sound like it is, i just think that it is a good place to put down all of my thoughts. Hopefully next time that i post it will be an exciting fun filled post of me celebrating my achievments.

Continuing from the surgery story...


So in the holding bay there was a really awesome nurse who was standing around chatting to me. She told me that my surgeon was probably off rushing through lunch. Just thinking that my surgeon was having a sandwich then a few minutes later was cutting into me was strange. I guess i had elevated my surgeon from mere mortal to some kind of god who didnt require food/drink/sleep etc.
Anyway the gas man then came, hunted around for veins, struggled as my veins suck. He eventually got one into my hand. Then it came time to be wheeled into theatre. I am pretty sure my gas man gave me something in the iv that he had just placed, because all i remember from here is looking up and seeing i was going into theatre 4 and thats pretty much it. I dont even remember sliding over onto the t able.

Waking up in recovery i was in pain!! I was groggy and i hurt, i remember saying "help me! please help me!" over and over again and the nurses telling me that i cant have any more pain relief just yet. I am pretty sure but dont remember clearly but i think that i had my magic pain be gone button which i continually pressed!! 
From here i dont really remember being taken to my room, but eventually i was.
About 3pm i remember my sister coming to visit me, i dont remember much else as i was still pretty out of it.
I kept waking up having to go pee all night. It was every hour or so. I had to get a nurse to help me as i was still so out of it.

In hospital i didnt have that great an experience. There was a nurses assistant who i think hated me or something. She was horrid. When i asked her to crush my pills. she ignored me, i waited 2 and a half hours. She was the cause of anxiety but i think that she can be another blog entry all of her own where i can bitch and moan about her :p

Anyway, that was pretty much my surgery experience.
Most of the pain was the first surgery day. There was more pain but the magic button took care of it and by day 3 i was off all pain meds. I need to try and keep this more updated. I will try to write more about how i am going and what i have been doing tomorrow!! 

So i am finally on the other side. I have been sleeved!! It hasnt been that bad an experience so for that i am so thankful. I know that my surgeon is awesome and amazing!
So on thursday i went into the hospital. Was one of the first there for the day, even tho my surgery wasnt scheduled until 10:30m, but they told me to be there at 6am and there was no way i was going to even be 1 minute late and risk it not going ahead!! 
After checking in at reception and doing all the obligatory paperwork, i took a seat, and my sister who dropped me off left to go home and take care of her kids waking up! I only had to wait about 5-10mins before the nurse came and took a group of us around to the day of admission surgery lounge. The lounge was small and had 4 little cubicles. I sat in number 3 since i knew i had a bit of a wait ahead of me and the tv was right in front. 
After about 2 hours of waiting the aneathetist called me to hve a chat. We just went over the usual stuff and i was sent back to the waiting area.
As 10:30am approached i started to get really nervous. Each time a saw a nurse i jumped a little and held my breath. At about 10:45am it was finally my time. Iwas taken to the holding area where i put on the gown and the stockings and awesome paper underwear and by awesome i mean crappy!  and sat in the bed and waited again.

I am losing a little concentration so will finish this later! 

So much has changed since my last post on here! I was living in Adelaide and was getting my wls through the public health system. Huge disapointment. But as they say everything happens for a reason, and in hindsight i can see that now. So I started looking into wls at 316 pds, or 144kgs. I am now 264 pds or 120kgs. so i have managed to keep going slowly down yay!! I got married in december of last year and have moved to sydney. I now have private health insurance and have waited my 12 month period so i am eligible to get wls in the private system. I have found a doctor here in sydney, I am so much happier with this surgeon than my last. He has never had a leak, whereas my last surgeon when i asked about his leaks said "err about 5%" So things are really looking up for me. I can move a lot easier than when i was on here last, walking isnt as much of a problem for me. I feel a lot healthier since i have lost a total of 24kgs so far. I cant even begin to imagine how awesome it is going to be after i lose another 50kg. Walking, running, swimming, cycling, theme parks, roller coasters, rides, water parks all better look out because in 12 months time i am going to be doing all of them and more!! 
oh and i should mention surgery is booked for the 10th of march!

Surgery cancelled again. 3rd time now, I am so over it. I give up. Its not happening. Waiting for another surgery date, probably wont be before september but it once again can be cancelled.  Ill come back if i ever get the surgery, but for now i am moving on and not counting on getting this surgery. Thanks for everyones support.

I now have my 3rd surgery date... june 7! 7th of the 7th, lets hope 7 can be my lucky mumber.. and 3rd time lucky? So maybe the numbers are telling me something. Who knows! I am hesitantly getting excited. But it is possible for it to be cancelled again so who knows! 
FIngers crossed this is the one! 

So i fasted, packed, got someone to look after my cat, bought everything i would need for post op, was all prepared mentally and every which way possible, got admitted to the hospital then an hour later the nurse comes to me and says.... "There are 24 people in emergency we havent got beds for the hospital is full and so we are cancelling all not emergency proceedures"

So here i sit, back home, a little disappointed. I am going to keep on trying to lose, keep myself focussed and wait for my new surgery date. I havent got that yet, ill find out what it is in the next few days. I kind of think that it just wasnt meant to happen today so the powers that be, whatever they are stopped it from going ahead today. One of the downsides of having my surgery though the public system.

I am not going to get down and upset about this hiccup. I am staying positive and look forward to my new date! 

Nearly there. I am scared and nervous, but different from when my vbg op was coming up. I think because i knew that was the wrong surgery for me so iwas much more paniced. I am glad i cancelled it. I am still very scared about tomorrow but it doesntreally seem real to me at the moment.
I read posts on here about people that are excited at this stage, I am not so much excited as i am scared. I guess i have had a year and a half to get to this point, maybe that has something to do with it. I am not sure.
I get anxiety in hospitals and i am scared thati will have a panic attack in there.
I have also read posts from patients of my surgeon who say they are kept in hospital for 7 days. I think that scares me more than the operation. I am hoping for 2-3 day hospital stay, but will have to see how it goes. I also hate hate hate the IV. I will just be glad when this who hospital thing is over and I am back home recovered and working on excersiing and becoming a lot healthier.
Hopefully i will be back here soon to post about my successful surgery with hardly any pain and feeling awesome! (optimistic much?)

Having smaller goal weights has been my intention from day one. I have kept a hard copy of these, but i dont think that i have posted them here, so thats what i am doing now. My goals are 10% of my body weight to reach each "mini goal".

Starting weight - 144kg's / 316.8 pds
Goal 1 - 130kgs / 286 pds
Goal 2 - 117kgs / 257 pds
Goal 3 - 105kgs / 231 pds
Goal 4 - 95kgs / 209 pds
Goal 5 - 86kgs / 189 pds
Goal 6 - 77kgs / 169 pds
Goal 7 - 70kgs / 154 pds

Like i said, these goals will help keep me motivated... I havent had surgery yet and goal 1 has already been reached yay! Fingers crossed i can reach my second mini goal before surgery, if not reach it, then come a lot closer to it!! 

The date that is going to change my life. Barring any complications.. for thebetter. I have had my pre op appointment today. 26 days to go... and it just hit home. I am going in for majory surgery. It freaks me out a little, yet i am excited. My surgeon decided that he doesnt want to take my gall bladder out with my sleeve, so t hat will be taken out later in the year.