Trouble

Sep 11, 2009

Well I have somethings that are on my mind and I can't seem to get rid of them. see before my surgery me and my husband had been going througha  lot for many years. And of course one of the problems we were having was due to my weight. So I decided to fix that problem and have the surgery to help and for many months it was helping. Things were changing and he was acting different towards me even becoming the man I fell in love with. But now things are going back and now I'm not sure of what to do . On one hand I love my husband very much , but on the other I don't want to be hurt any longer. What should I do? Should I wait out another year to see if things improve? Or should I move on? See one of the problems that we are having now is that I am having to compete with porn to get his attention. And I'm tired of doing that. For to many years I was always second to the military . And now that he is out I have shifted from second down to third for now it goes school, porn and then me . Honestly I don't know what to do.. I've been told that I must be one hell of a woman to stick around as long as I have. But what else am I supposed to do. He wasn't always like this. I mean for the first two years that we were married it was about me and him granted the military was mixed in there. But then he went to iraq and well things changed he started talking to other woman and started telling me he never loved me and wanted a divorce. He then came home and things seemed okay he no longer talked about a divorce but then again he never said I love you to me anymore. He had changed. We have been married for 6 years going on 7 this december and well I think I've finally had as much as I can take. I was told before I had this surgery that so many people end up in divorces afterwards. And well I can believe it. Even though I was headed down this road for too many years now. I just feel so alone and my family well they are many hours away form where I am. I'm not sure I want to try to stick it out til around feb because that is my one year marker of having the surgery. Only time will tell what will happen but as of right now there is nothing going on between me and him. is there anyone out there who understands what I'm going through? well I'm getting off here . If anyone reads this and wants to know more they can look me up on myspace if they have it . Look me up using my email; address it is [email protected] k thats for letting me let this out .

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