The STRUGGLE is real!

Sep 15, 2016

   Tomorrow will be my 9th month PO and yet I needed to come on here and blog about my struggle with food these last couple of months. My carb/sweet addiction is getting to me and I find myself slipping frequently. I'm monitoring these slip ups and I realize last night after excessively indulging in my Arabian dessert, that last night sweet binge was because I went into autopilot. I was not emotional, I was not hungry.  When the Doc's husband brought the ceramic DISH of the semolina dessert saturated with honey,I began telling everyone that it was my "crack", "I could never eat just one" and then I proceeded to FULFILL that self-proclaimed prophecy. 

    Today, as I weighed myself and saw that I'm 1.8lbs from my personal goal weight. I started thinking how much I needed therapy. My body responds well to exercise,but I don't want my eating habits to get into that vicious cycle of bingeing and excessive exercise. I truly love working out ( I know this is a shocker for me), but I need to come to terms with my abuse with food.

With that last thought I'm going to say goodbye to my ARABIAN desserts, I'm going to try and go as sugar free as possible ( limiting my use of sugar alternatives). I need to get back to my journals as much as possible and maybe until I get to see a therapist again, find a support group when I'm home. This struggle is real! However, I keep telling myself "You fall down, get the hell up! Read your Dear John letter, review your photos. You are so worth it!" I know it sounds corny, but it works for my run on mornings ????

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