Kept surgery a secret?

Heidi L.
on 9/23/03 10:57 pm - NY
I've kept this surgery a secret from some of my close friends and family and it's getting harder and harder to do. Has anyone else out there done this? I know I shouldn't be embarrassed about doing something good for myself but there are some people in my life who just doesn't understand. I feel so bad "lying" to people when they comment on my weight loss and ask how are you doing it? Of course I tell them all the things I am doing like the exercise, water, protein etc. so in some ways no I'm not lying but I feel like I'm keeping this HUGE secret and I'm not sure how to deal with it. If any of you have kept this a secret how have you dealt with it? Any suggestions? Heidi (down 80 pounds so far)
BLSLIM77
on 9/24/03 3:05 am - SAN ANTONIO, FL
AT FIRST I THOUGHT ABOUT KEEPING THIS SURGERY A SECRET JUST LIKE I WAS KEEPING MY WEIGHT A "SECRET" (445 LBS***SOME "SECRET")! THEN I GOT TO THINKING THAT IT WAS MY DECISION & I DON'T LIKE TO TELL LIES BECAUSE ONE LIE LEADS TO ANOTHER SO I JUST TOLD EVERYONE THAT NEEDED TO KNOW & IF THEY DIDN'T LIKE IT OR ME THEY COULD *LUMP IT*. THIS IS MY LIFE & I HAVE TO LIVE IT!!!! SO I SAY IT IS YOUR DECISION AS TO WHAT YOU TELL....GOOD LUCK**** 445/345/150
Jan P.
on 9/24/03 5:10 am - ARLINGTON, TX
I didn't ever intend to keep mine a secret. I shouted it from the roof tops!!! I finally took life by the horns and did something for myself instead of what someone else wanted for me. For those who might not of given me their support, well then I didn't need it. As it turned out, my brother was the only one who was skeptical and when everything was fully explained to him, he said he was proud of me. Today is my 6 month anniversary and I am now a proud member of the century club. Hope this help you make a decision on whether to tell them or not. jan P 3/24/03 317/216/154
Marilyn R.
on 9/24/03 5:46 am - Queens, NY
I kept my surgery a secret from everyone except my husband and my parents. I chose to to do that because I was not willing to hear a lot of negative comments from other people. It worked out great for me. Now that I have lost a lot of weight it's very noticeable and people do ask how I did it. I choose who I tell. Sometimes I say that I just changed my eating habits which I have and sometimes I tell them I had the surgery. It's a very personal choice. It depends on you and how you want to share details of your life. Just my 2 cents.
AmandaKS
on 9/24/03 6:23 am - Trussville, AL
Heidi- My thoughts regarding my surgery were such: No matter what anyone said I was going to have the surgery with or without their support or help. I wanted everyone to know though so it was easier post-op. I had those who didn't have anything nice to say who now have to eat their crow and I just grin and laugh to myself. I felt it was me and my body and I was responsible for getting myself into that shape and it was my responsibility to get myself out of that shape. Make sense? I applaud you for keeping it a secret this long- but honestly I can't imagine not telling everyone I come into contact with about this amazing surgery I was blessed enough to have had. I think it is my duty as a post-op to help others coming up behind me and maybe by me talking to random people about how awesome my life is now I can help someone find out about gastric bypass that oher wise would not have know. Anyway, just my .01 worth. Good Luck!
Heidi L.
on 9/24/03 11:10 pm - NY
Thank you all for your thoughts and support! It has given me a lot to think about. You are right that this surgery has been a blessing and I do share the information with people on this web site and also have told certain people who might benefit from the surgery. I live in a very small community and word will travel fast I'm certain when a few people find out. There is another woman in my community that has had the surgery done and it's funny how people will whisper to me remarks about her ( I do try to set them straight) and they have no clue I am also walking in her shoes. If I do "come out of the closet" I will let you all know what happened. Thanks again! Heidi (81 pounds down)
Allee Z.
on 9/26/03 10:14 am - Eastern, IA
I'm with Marilyn on this. I didn't feel like I wanted to hear everyone's comments. Bad or Good. I wasn't even going to tell mom and dad. But then, as a mom, I decided if my own child had a fairly serious surgery and didn't tell me - I'd be sad and upset. So I told them. Dad said I couldn't do it (he forgets I'm 48 y/o) - but he was just afraid. I've told close friends and as far as people at work - they knew I had surgery, but I didn't tell them what kind. I think some may suspect - but on the other hand I have had some health issues that led up to this and surgery could very well have been related to that. I don't think you should be embarrased about the surgery - but I also don't feel it's a LIE to not tell either. You might wonder why Dick and Jane don't have kids - but it's not really YOUR business if they don't tell you Dick has been fixed. They just don't have kids - you just are losing weight. And doing FABULOUSLY I might add!
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