Frustrated!

Dec 30, 2009

So, I haven't lost much weight since the revision.  I'm trying not to freak out.  It looks like my body won't let go of any weight unless I keep my calorie count under 800 per day.  That is insane.  That is some kind of cruel joke the universe is playing on me, I know it.

I read the Michigan forum every day, and I want to yell to the people that say "30 lbs. gone forever!"  Yeah, maybe, maybe not.  I threw away all of my "fat clothes".  I vowed I would never gain weight again.  When I could wear an XL I said I was no longer a Plus Sizer!  All of that changed, and I can't seem to get back below 200 lbs.  

The funny part is, no one that is really unsuccessful posts on that board.  It's all Pollyanna happy people convinced that they will be skinny forever (no offense meant to my friends over there).  Take a look at the revision board.  There are thousands of us that had WLS, lost some weight, and then BAM!  the switch was thrown, and our bodies changed back to our pre-surgery form. 

Of course when you are pre-op, or newly post-op, or even a maintaining post-op, it's hard to imagine going back.  You think that 'It works if you work it'.  Anyone that gains must be doing something wrong, right?  NOPE.  It happens.  And it happens to a lot of people.  The fact is, no one wants to post every day on a casual forum that they are failing.  That the weight is creeping back on, and they are hungry all the time.  They don't want to say that they skipped the gym one week and gained 5 lbs. that won't come off.  It's embarrassing, and besides, no one wants to hear it.  

So that's my bitch fest.  I'm still not losing, and no one seems to "get it". 

Here's to tomorrow being a better day!

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