Kimberly T.

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Yes, it has been a very long time since I have updated. John's 4 year old daughter was here for 6 weeks for his visitation. She lives in Canada with her mother. What a beautiful little girl she is. We had lots of fun with her. And we were very sad for her to leave. But we will get to have her again for christmas. John and I spent all of last evening with his Dad and Stepmom. We had a really nice time. His father was born in Greece and we spoke until the wee hours of and traditions and so on. It was a wonderful time and I really love them. I cannot wait to spend more time with them.

As for me. on August 29th I will be 1 year post op. I am very happy with the direction my life is taking. I have gained a little bit of weight. Not much to be concerned about. Around 15 lbs. I spoke to the surgeon about it and he is not at all concerned. It started shortly after the miscarriage in May. He said it was normal and that my body would get back on track again. I am not worried. I feel great. A year ago if you would have asked me if I ever thought I would be as happy about myself and my life as I am today. I would have told you definately not. And if that was even if I was still alive.

The only thing I have issues about is the excess skin I have in my abdomen. I have lots off it and it makes me feel a bit fat from time to time. I know I am not fat. It just feels that way some days. John took a picture of me yesterday. I will get it on here as soon as I can.

Hello all, I know I haven't updated very much. That is going to change. I am going to try and keep this as updated as possible from now on. With that being said, here is where I am today.

 

In my last post I mentioned I was pregnant. Unfortunately, on May 19, 2006 I had a miscarriage. I was approximately 13 weeks. Dr. said it was a Blighten Ovum which means the baby just didnt develop. I am doing very well. Of course a bit depressed but otherwise doing good. 

 

In addition, I am finding (now that I am 9 months post op) that I can eat alot. Funny how in the beginning I couldnt eat a thing without getting sick. Now I can "almost" eat normally. I can tolerate all meats, I can eat a little bit of breads and pasta. But I do limit those. I seem to have "grown out" of the lactose intolerant stage. I can drink milk.. and lots of it. I do drink skim, and can tolerate yogurt now. The only food aversions I seem to have is to gassy foods.. Cauliflower and Mushrooms cause me severe pain.  But normally, I eat alot of chicken and vegetables. Once in a while, I will treat myself to a mcdonalds chicken sandwhich or fish sandwich and yes I can eat the whole thing, bun and all. I cannot do fries very well so I avoid them.

 

I am amazed at how different my life is now. I am no longer invisible and it is sometimes difficult to handle. I never thought about this aspect of the surgery. The "after affects" I get comments from guys.. which is a huge shock to me. I am used to not being noticed now I get stared at. lol.. Its a good feeling.. but sometimes confusing. I know alot of you understand what I mean.

 

I walk alot now, I actually found that I enjoy it. I get up in the morning and walk around the neighborhood. Then come back in and do housework, sometimes will walk again after lunch.. and again at night when its cooler. I love it. I never in a million years thought "I" would say I like to walk. ME who would have parked IN the store if they had let me LOL.

 

John and I are doing VERY well. Is it possible to fall in love with someone everyday? lol Sappy I know, but hey I am enjoying my life now and no one can take that away from me. :)

Ok so now I have more news! I am 11 weeks pregnant!  My due date is 11/29/06 which is very cool because it's my late father's birthday. All is well so far, I have been very lucky with almost no morning sickness. I will keep all posted.

Current weight is 182 lbs.

Yes, it  has been a very long time since I have written. Things  have been so busy for me lately. I am now living in South Hackensack NJ with my fiance'. Yep you heard right FIANCE'!!!

 

We got engaged on February 4th. I will tell you that my life has changed so much in the last 6 months. My confidence level  has skyrocketed!  I am now down to about 195 lbs. The scale hasnt moved in about 2 months. But I continue to lose inches. I started out at size 32/34 at surgery. Now, 5 months later I am wearing a size 16 jeans. And they are now baggy!  I look so totally different. I look at my license and say. Who the heck is THAT? I have to laugh. I never thought in a million years I would be looking at myself in the mirror and saying. Damn girl... you look GOOD! haha. All the little wow moments that creep up on you are amazing. Noticing that my arms are very thin. My thighs dont rub together anymore (except for the occasional rub of loose skin).  I noticed I also have ribs, shoulder blades and a collar bone.. Funny huh? Anyway. just thought I would give a quick update.

 

Love you all

 

Kimberly

I am so excited I just had to share. Pre-surgery I was a size 32/24. Always only able to shop at the "fat store". I hated shopping and would wear the same thing for years until it was so faded I had no choice but to throw them out.

 

Today, I noticed my clothes were falling off of me and said to myself.. Ok I can't put it off any longer. (Did I mention I hate shopping?)

 

For giggles I went to Walmart. And guess what?? I found that I am a size 22/24!!!! Everything I tried on FIT!!!! I thought ok.. lets try a pair of jeans that doesn't have elastic in the waist. I have been wearing stretch jeans since high school. I picked up a 22w petite off the rack.. I wasn't really sure what size. I went to the dressing room and tried them on. THEY FIT!!!!!! Perfectly!! I started sobbing in the dressing room. The woman came to the door and knocked and said Ma'am are ya alright in there? I said yeah THEY FIT!! She started laughing. After I came out I explained to her why I was emotional. She congratulated me and actually gave me a hug. So here I am with 5 new tops and a new pair of BUTTON DOWN jeans. With my head held high and a big sh*t eatin grin on my face.

God is good!!

 

Well, today I am down to 235 lbs. Just about 70 lbs. I never thought I would see the day. I still have alot of problems eating. But oh well I have pretty much resigned myself to the fact I wont ever eat normally. My hair has thinned out enormously. Although, I have not seen it come out. Lots of changes and wow moments to report. Firstly, I CAN BREATHE!!! I don't huff and puff going from point A to B any longer. I can walk. I can tie my shoes without having to bring my legs up on the bed. I can bend over without passing out. I am no longer on Blood Pressure Medication. I recently sent back my CPAP Machine. I no longer need it. My "fat clothes" hang on me like dresses. I have gone down many sizes and 1 whole shoe size. My face is thinner. It doesnt look like a balloon anymore. And I can use the bathroom without doing Gymnastics!!!!!!! Yay ME!  The biggest thing for me right now is I have found the love of my life!!! His name is John and he lives in New Jersey . He is the most incredible person I have ever met. He supports me 250%! He drives up every weekend that he is able to. And we have such wonderful times together. We snuggle and talk of future. We already know that there is a future for us. And for the first time in my miserable life. I am happy! He loves me unconditionally. He thinks I am the most beautiful woman on the planet. I tell him he needs glasses LOL. Funny thing is? I am starting to feel beautiful. How strange is that? I hated mirrors... Now I cant stop looking in them. To fix my hair.. or check my make up.. Things I never gave a *&#$ about before. Well thats it in a nutshull so far. I will try to get more pics on here I wish I Could figure out how some get so many in a small area. Seems like my pics are so huge they take up tons of space.

Well, I haven't written in a very long time. I am a little over 7 weeks out. And I am pretty miserable. I can't eat much of anything. According to my surgeons office and Dietician. I should be on regular food by now.. This is supposed to include meat, fish, eggs, chicken, bread, salad and the like. I dont think so. I take 3 bites of something and i vomit. Yes I have talked to my surgeon. He said its normal it will take awhile and to take it slow. Well I dont feel normal. Yes I am down 54 pounds, but I wanna eat something and keep it down. Fluids are another story. I can finally tolerate water, OJ and thats pretty much it. No protein drinks. I cannot tolerate milk. Which I drank alot pre-surgery. Crystal light is way to sweet for me. I have tried watering down, that makes it even less tasteful. Which brings me to my next problem.. Vitamins. I have to fight to keep them down. I did get chewable multi's and chewable Caltrate. but my other meds are pills. And if i cant keep liquids down then guess what. So as of today. I wish i had never had the surgery. But i know in months to come I will feel differently. I just thought I would be honest in how I felt.

Hello Everyone, I am sorry I have not written in a while. Its been a rough first week post op. Nothing major, just soreness, getting discouraged with having to eat and not wanting to eat. I have no real appetite yet. I do have cravings, but nothing that can satisfy them. I am however feeling much better. I am drinking as much water as my pouch will allow. I know I am probably not supposed to do this but I step on the scale every morning right after using the bathroom. And so far, every single morning the scale has gone down. I look at it in disbelieve. I have had a couple wow moments already. My face actually looks a little thinner. I have had an easier time using the bathroom without doing yoga. I know that sounds funny, but I am sure many of you completely understand. Even my behind doesnt feel like its spread all over the chair when I sit.

 

I am still sleeping in the recliner. Not extremely comfortable, but much better than my own bed yet. I am able to climb stairs easier now and come down stairs now to use my computer.

 

The first couple nights my mom assisted me in the shower. I can now shower on my own, which is nice lol.

 

Yesterday I got myself dressed and walked down to the end of my street and back. I was extremely tired and very very sore. But I did it nonetheless.

 

So far so good. My sister will pick me up tomorrow morning to get me out of the house for a bit. I haven't budged for 7 days. I will write tomorrow and let you know how that went.

I know it has been awhile since I have written. But there has been so much to do. And so much to get ready for. I have been re-arranging my room again. Getting rid of the junk. I needed to put together some things to bring upstairs. As I will be sleeping upstairs on the recliner where my mom can help me for a couple days. My bedroom and "office area" are in the basement. And I know steps arent going to be good at first.

 

I have been writing some letters to be read in the event there is any problems. Which I know there will not be. But I would like to be prepared just incase.

 

Today my van finally broke down. In a big puff of smoke. Which was perfect timing as now I will have 6 weeks to have it fixed or get something else if it is not fixable. Tomorrow is my last day at work and one of the girls will give me a ride.

 

I have 4 days to go. And I still dont think it has hit me. Oh except yesterday my boss left for vacation so she and I sat down to talk because we wont see each other again. This is what she said to me, "You know you still have time to back out of this, and just go on a darn diet" , can you believe that? I looked at her and said. "I am not going to back out of a surgery that is going to save my life", "Would You?

 

I think it finally hit her that I am having the surgery. She fought it tooth and nail for a few months now.

This is a letter that I sent to my friends and family:

 

Good Evening,

 

As many of you know, and some of you may not know. In 11 days on August 29, 2005. I will be having Gastric Bypass (RNY-Proximal) at 7:40am.

 

Mom, Larry, Amy and “the boys” will be accompanying me to the hospital. Only mom will be allowed up with me just before they take me in OR.

 

I have spoken to hundreds of people who have had this surgery. Hundreds did fabulous. And some did not. However, I have done tons of research on this and have made my informed decision to have go ahead with the surgery.

 

On June 1, 2005 I met with my surgeon Bruce Thayer for the first time. I also met with the Dietician and Psychologist. This was a 4 hour appointment. I also met with the office staff. I found them ALL to be very informative and friendly and supportive.  Many things to learn and many questions to ask.

 

All in all I felt this was the best decision for me to make. My Primary care doctor Monica Woodward was the person who asked me to see the surgeon. She had been watching me steadily get bigger and bigger and my moods and my co-morbidities getting worse. I have High Blood pressure, Sleep Apnea (which I use a CPAP machine) joint pain, and other co-morbidities.

 

I know some of you are less than thrilled, to say the least, about me having this surgery. I am here to tell you, I believe it is the best thing I can do for myself. As I saw it I had only two options. (1) Do nothing and continue on as I have been and be miserable for the rest of my life. Or (2) Take action and use a tool that can, and will give me my life back. Not just my life back. but save it with a better quality of life.

 

Am I nervous? Your darn tootin I am. But I am more afraid of NOT doing this and continually watching my health decline.

 

I am also very excited. Excited of the idea of buying all new clothes, being thinner.. Having guys look notice me for a good reason. Not the bad one. I want to be able to sleep with out a machine. Without pain.. without grunting to get in or out of the bed.. Walking with out losing my breathe and legs getting tired. Put on my shoes and tie them without having to pull my leg up on the bed. Cross my legs? Hell what’s that LOL.

 

Anyway. I just wanted to let you all know what I am about to do. And let you know everything is going to be just fine. I have enclosed the hospital name and phone number incase you would like it.

 

Big Hugs and lots of love

 

Kim-bo-lee