Overdue update!

Jun 23, 2009

Okay, so I don't come on here like I should. Well, bad news is I now weigh 202.5 lbs. Sucks. I got down to 167... a size 12. But, I do have serious issues with food. I also have issues dealing with my life since I had heart failure almost 9 years ago. The good news is I have buddy-ed up with my sister and we are counting calories and tomorrow, I am going to join a gym. I haven't belonged to a gym since way before I had surgery. The last time I went to a gym, I left in tears. Frustrated because the so called "low impact/beginner's aerobics" was actually a high impact/intermediate class. I couldn't keep up, I was huffing and puffing and turning red faced trying to keep up with everyone. I couldn't do it. My 250 something lbs prevented me from doing it. I was so determined, didn't care that I was the biggest person in the class, I was trying to commit myself to losing weight. This was way before I heard of gastric bypass surgery. That was the last time I attempted to belong to a gym. I am going to a Planet Fitness that has just opened very near my home. My boyfriend already joined yesterday. He joined to get toned and build muscles, he's not overweight, never has been.
Well, my sister and I have been counting calories for a couple of weeks and I have lost 7 lbs. I won't count the time I stepped on the scales and it said 216... I freaked out. So, I got back down to 209.5 and I have pretty much stayed there. The other good news is, I changed jobs 2 years ago. I no longer work as a medical assistant, I am now a 911 operator for the city of Albuquerque. So, no more free food lunches! Although I am sitting the whole time instead of walking around, so that's kind of a downer.  I have had to come to terms with my emotional eating. I can recognize now when I am eating from stress or emotions. I recognize it and try to divert myself. I have also started seeing a counselor to address a lot of issues I didn't realize I had. I didn't realize it because I was suppressing it. It's amazing how a small revelation about something and admitting it openly to another human being can free you! Well, I won't go into the boring details, but I am feeling so much better about my self and my feelings.
I feel like I am finally at the point, the "aha moment" that my life is truly changing now. The light turned on, I get it. I really get it. Food is something humans can enjoy. Food tastes good, smells good, is fun to make and create. But in the end, it is a fuel for our bodies. If you put crap in you'll be crappy! If you put good stuff in, you'll be good. Good feeling, energetic. And instead of obessessing about food all the time, you can do other things you enjoy! Well, that's my two cents! More later!!

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