kkaymathis

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One of my favorite comedians said,"Everyone wants to be famous, but no one wants to put in the work."-Kevin Hart. I love this guy, he is so funny. All that aside he couldn't be more right, but I'm going to apply this to my weight loss. I want to be thinner, but I don't want to work out. Not really realistic. Is it? I now know that and I go to the gym religiously to workout on a regular basis. I have began counting calories and watching my net calories versus my workout calories. It is a life change and I understand the depths of that now. I have to change how I think and eat to achieve the success that I long for. I have revamped my workout plan and I have seen the light. My weight has started moving again on the scale and personally I like it. I just have to remember that the work has to be there to achieve the desired results and without it I can't and shouldn't expect anything else. 

I have finally reached the 100s. I weighed in today at 198.8. I know that is barely there but for me it is a big step for me. I am so grateful that I was blessed to go through this journey and come out changed on the other end. This has been and experience. I am still experiencing slow weight loss, but I don't care anymore. I know if I keep working, it will keep coming off. I'm starting to have some fun with the protein. I have started adding things to get my calories. Decaf coffee is my favorite. Then there's pureed bananas. Ohhhh. I love it. Its been quite a journey and I wouldn't trade it for the world. Being in the 100s still feels like a dream. I'm a size fourteen and loving it. My mother even said that I look taller. Without all the weight pulling me forward and down, maybe I do. Maybe I do.

I have had my first labs and my iron, calcium and vitamin D3 were all very low. That would attribute to my weight stall and hair loss. I'm taking the correct amount and I'm back, but not defeated. I getting my hair done to help with the loss, but I will keep pushing to be better. I want to continue my fight to have better health.

I have decided to do liquids for the most part of the week to help me lose a couple of more pounds. I am not going to step on the scale until I get to the doctors office on Friday. This will be a long week.

Ok. I have come to the understanding that the weight doesn't move upon my will. It takes much more than that. I have been working out and watching what I'm eating. No bread of course. No sweets except my protien. I'm tired of protien, but I really like having hair. I really want to be down by the time I visit my surgeon, but I have a week and ten pounds. My hope about making ten pounds in a week have gone ignored by my body. I managed to do only three pounds this week. It's Wednesday. That is progress, but I am tired of pushing myself. I'm tired of the sacrafices my body is tired too. I'm just going to keep watching what I eat and walk my three miles each day instead of six. I am to tire and weak to maintain six miles along with everything else. I need help and some motivation. Im worn and ready to rest.

Ok. I have fourteen pounds to lose before my next visit with my doctor. I cant shake them. It doesn't help that my lady friend is visiting and slowing down my weight loss. I am so tired, but I guess I can kick up the mileage to four miles a day instead of three. Cardio shows me the best results. I'm just not sure Im up for the challenge. Well here we go.....

Well my scale has been moving in both directions. I am not really enjoying that. I hope that it becomes stable really soon. I have seen it move in so many directions. I'm not sure if I'm losing or gaining weight. I did not do protein shakes over the weekend and I just tried to wing it. Not really sure why that was my choice of action. Maybe I was being lazy or I actually thought that I could figure out this process all by myself. ¡EPIC fail! Not the best option for me. I slept on the floor one night with stomach cramps from eating something too starchy or sweet.( I think it was my Mom's potato salad) I won't tell if you don't. I decided to taste it to help her with cooking. I hadn't had it in quite some time, and I figured a little taste wouldn't hurt. All things hurt this early in the game. Nothing is what it used to be. So Sunday and today I am paying the price for my poor choices. I have a serious case of the you know whats. Not so good, but in blows the scale of change and I have noticed that I have lost six pounds over the weekend alone. Wow! Not the best way to lose, but definitely seeing the results.

I have learned so much about food and about myself. Those times that I would normally have ignored and mindlessly shoved food into my face have all but disappeared. I have a new purpose with food and the winds of change are blowing all around me. I love my body and I want whats best for it. I want to have more kids and be there for each changing moment in their lives. I don't want another revision and I know what I need to do to get there. So next time my mom asks me to help in the kitchen I will kindly decline and remember I have a bigger and better purpose. I must no longer wait for the winds of change to come, I will be the wind that changes things.

I have been looking for soft meats to substitute for my protein shakes. This week has resulted in a complete failure. I don't mind.(Not too much) I have had several options of meat to choose from and this week it was ground beef with taco seasoning from the cafeteria. Okay, lets stop here and examine what I have actually done. Eaten meat from the cafeteria that I work at.  I didn't even have much. I knew my limit and stuck to that. Not one of my better choices!! First I found out, after becoming very ill, and dumping all throughout the day, that it is not real meat. It is some kind of by product mix. Ewwww!!! (I say that now after I got sick, because it smelled really good yesterday.) I know my new stomach is very sensitive to different seasonings and meat, but one thing that I heard and I am starting to believe is that I have to consume expensive cuts of meat. The low end stuff is not lean enough for proper digestion and may cause some uncomfortable reactions. Running to the restroom at work for long periods time is never cool.

So back on the horse with my search for a better meat. I am always looking for something that is not so greasy when cook and retains it's own moisture. It is always good to be able to add moisture to the meat, but if it retains it's own it makes it much healthier choice.(Turkey grilled, Chicken rotisseries, and fish baked) It is not easy, but as I edge closer to three months the soft food section of creativity grow slimmer and slimmer. I will continue the seach not only for a better grain of meat, but also the course of action for my health.

   Well I have passed at least one plateau and I am excited about where this is going. I have lost so much weight and I with every pound I get excited about what I see. So many things are changing around me and I myself, am changing. I no longer wake up at night from my sleep with headaches and dizziness. Each moment is not plagued by what I will eat next. I enjoy working out on a daily basis. It helps me physically and relieves so much stress. I'm glad that I have had the opportunity to gain my life back. I'm not sure what I would be doing with the rest of my life at 28 with hypertension, amenorrhea and sleep apnea. Sometimes I want to cry because I am so grateful that after such a short time so much has changed. Sometimes I do cry because I am able to things that previously would have been exhausting. My life has been revised.

    I have grown to understand the new process of my life. When I had my lap-band I was constantly unsure from one day to the next about what amount I should be eating. Some days I was able to eat more than others. There was no consistency. Now with my RNY I have that consistency that I needed. No more wondering. Everything is pretty clear with the rny no gray areas for me. So much of me has adapted to the new stomach and food choices. I love what I've been blessed to do. I love the support that I have had and the support that I didn't have. Some of that negative support helped me become more determined to be successful. I have grown so much that I understand that what happens here with me will hopefully help someone else remember that there is still a life to live. I know this sounds cliche, but this is on the beginning. I can't wait.

I've been working out pretty diligently. I really feel motivated to workout as soon as possible. I was cleared by my doctor at four weeks and I have been walking, lifting and swimming. I know that exercise is key and I want to do everything I can to be successful.

I have been taking all my vitamins including fiber. I have feel exhilarated by not feeling confined to food. I eat and it's over. It's over. It's finally over. So I enjoy working out and preparing my families meals. I enjoy my freedom. I finally feel free. What a blessing!