latinamommy
18 months...
Feb 20, 2011
So wow 18 months huh? I don't have a chance to get on here much. For some reason this isn't an option on my phone. I can get up to the minute prices on fuel in china but can't get on this website...lol. Anyways...Life is WONDERFUL. I am so extremely happy I could shit a rainbow right now!!! I haven't really lost anymore weight kinda still doing the plus or minus 1 pound weekly total. The holidays were BRUTAL. I gained 7 pounds. But down 10 so I guess something worked for me. I noticed that the numbers on the scale mean absolutely NOTHING. I can feel it in my clothes weather I gain or lose. I can be down 2 pounds and have my jeans tight as hell. Or up and have loose jeans. Numbers are for schmucks. I rather go by clothes size or something. I actually kinda hate when people ask WOW How much have you lost now? I say a lot and smile. I was looking at my before pictures again and OMFG. I can't believe that's me. I look at my DL and can'r believe it either. I started a new job and people die when I pull out my DL. When I get carded the cashier is usually on the fence about selling to me...lol. I can't bear to part with it though. Anyways. Since working at this new job I've been able to get more protien in. From shakes but still better than when I was eating food. I know I HATE muscle milk lite. I hate making my own shakes too. I'll stick with the EAS ones. I get 2 more OZ and only 10 more calories than MM. and EAS is low carb. So Hope all is well for everyone and you all are still happy!!!
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1 year...OMG and all that...
Jul 16, 2010
OMG...So wow a year. I've been through some stuff most good some not so good. But here I am a year later and happier than I could have ever imagined!! I can't believe that losing 100+ pounds could make me feel so alive!! If I didn't lose another pound I would be soooo ok with me. I notice that when I gain even a couple pounds I am not comfortable so I know I never want to be at that place again. Great motivation for me. I know I haven't done as good as some people. But I am doing what i want to do and I am healthy and happy and that's all that matters right now. I am not morbidly obese anymore. I think I am just overweight which is so crazy!!! Here on OH is the only place I have before pics of my whole body and it is absolutely crazy to me to see the difference!!! It is like I can't remember being that HUGE girl. I liked me then but I LOVE me now!!! Congrats to all my fellow July-ers. Here's to a long happy HEALTHY life!!!
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I'd slap myself!!!
Nov 02, 2009
Soooo...I am being so horribly rotten that if there was another me I would slap myself. I do this EVERYTIME I lose any amount of weight. I see the numbers go down and use that as an excuse to eat a bite more or have another piece!! Why do I do this? I should be motivated to KEEP doing good not messing up!!! I'm a little depressed so that doesn't help. I need to keep busy. THat's a HUGE issue. If I am home I am cooking and then tasting then eventually eating. For some reason my daughter never wants to eat with me but as soon as I am done she wants something so there I go tasting her food!!! I am losing but not like I was. I will drop a pound then gain a pound then gain 3 pounds then drop two pounds. So when the week is up I have either gained or lost a total of 1 pound!! That alone is depressing!!! I also need to recommit to the gym. I just hate going alone!!! I want to be able to talk and laugh and feel stupid with someone NEXT to me. I know I know I was born alone but still...So hopefully I will be getting a job this week and I won't be in my house bored outta my mind. I am also a bored eater. If I am watching a movie I want to snack. Not on healthy protien-ish stuff but on cheetos and chips and salsa...bad I know!!!! So here is to making it to my halfway point BEFORE the new year!!!
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When it rains it pours...aka goals.
Oct 03, 2009
So I have a few goals that I am setting for myself. I need goals to keep me somewhat on track. My life is still shitty and on top of the rest of my crying I am getting a divorce. When it rains it pours. We are ok with eachother but he was my biggest supporter and I feel like I have lost my best friend. Life does go on though, right?
OK back to my goals.
1) Smile. Yeah maybe a bit stupid but I need to make sure that my kids know I love them and that I am happy with them. Smiling is the best for that.
2) Get under 250 pounds. I am about 30 pounds to that goal. Can't wait.
3) Figure out who I am. I have always been the person to like things because he liked them. I am a person too I just don't know who I am. I don't know what I like.
4) walk everyday. This is a HUGE one. I am depressed so not happy so not wanting to do anything more than what is absolutely necessary to get by day to day. I need to exercise.
For now this is sufficient. As my life changes and grows I will add more but right now this is what I can do.
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OK back to my goals.
1) Smile. Yeah maybe a bit stupid but I need to make sure that my kids know I love them and that I am happy with them. Smiling is the best for that.
2) Get under 250 pounds. I am about 30 pounds to that goal. Can't wait.
3) Figure out who I am. I have always been the person to like things because he liked them. I am a person too I just don't know who I am. I don't know what I like.
4) walk everyday. This is a HUGE one. I am depressed so not happy so not wanting to do anything more than what is absolutely necessary to get by day to day. I need to exercise.
For now this is sufficient. As my life changes and grows I will add more but right now this is what I can do.
OMG look at that chick she has a third eye!!!
Sep 15, 2009
SO I have this little issue. I get sooo embarassed when I see people I haven't seen in a while and they stand there in disbelief at how much weight I have lost. Like literally mouth opened gasping disbelief!! Why is it so crazy to see me smaller? Why make such a scene? Would it be so hard to politely, quietly tell me I look nice? NOOOOO they look at me like I have a third eye or something!! I went to the bar with my sister this weekend and I saw a lot of people that I used to work with and it was CRAZY!! I feel like I look different and I actually feel good about myself BUT for some weird reason all the comments made me wonder how bad I looked before! Made me a little depressed! WTH???
On the other hand I get a little pissy when someone who has been in this with me for "support" won't even look at me. She will not comment on my weight loss and will only look me in the eyes. Not that I want her fawning all over me all the time but acknowledge I did this damn thing!!!
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On the other hand I get a little pissy when someone who has been in this with me for "support" won't even look at me. She will not comment on my weight loss and will only look me in the eyes. Not that I want her fawning all over me all the time but acknowledge I did this damn thing!!!
It's me again.
Sep 07, 2009
So it's been a while since I have posted a blog. So much has happened to me in the 2 months since surgery that I dunno where to start.
I had a whole big long blog about how my surgery went and everything when I got back from the hospital and the darn laptop wasn't getting a good signal and timed out and took all of my blog with it. GRRRR. But now I have regular DSL and don't worry about the time-outs.
So surgery went fine. I don't remember much. I know I had horrible gas pain and found it hard to get up and walk without crying and throwing up but that passed about a week out of the hospital. I remember being so thirsty and only getting ice chips. THe rest is all a blur with little memories here and there.
I am about 2 months out and all is awesome. I am eating real food yay and found a protien that I actually like. Isopure zero carb fruit drink thingies are the best. 40 grams of protien per 20oz. LOVE IT!! I find it hard to eat all day to get the protien in by food so until that time I will take these drinks. I have lost about 50 pounds so far. I think that is awesome. I get a little discouraged by the stalls but I know I will lose this. I posted a before and after picture and WOW the difference is amazing, even to me!!! I swim every morning at 5am and try to ride my bike when I can. I need to get to the gym on a regular basis but it's so hard. I do play the wii once in a while and OMG I can step on it and the big red box doesn't come on telling me that they can't measure me. It's kinda neat!!
So for the shitty stuff...I lost my job!!! Not my fault it was a total set up but nothing I can do about it now. I would like to save my reputation but I KNOW that in this small town no matter what is said to try to save it someone will say something to make me look bad so why bother right? I am depressed as all hell. I actually have an appointment with my dr for meds. I can't get outta my funk. Nothing to do with surgery but everything bad that can happen is happening and I can't deal. I need to find a job but with the rest of America, it is not an easy process. So I thought of moving with my dad for a while and finding a job in his town but I think he was saying the unemployment rate is higher there than here...ugh. I absolutely refuse to work at McDonalds and besides I pay my babysitter about minimum wage so why work for free?? AND I can't have a job that has too many different shifts because I have 4 kids and my husband works out of town most of the time so I need to get them off to school and be home when they get off the bus. There aren't too many 9-5 jobs around. It is just so depressing!!!
So there is my little update. Hope you all are doing good!!
1 comment
I had a whole big long blog about how my surgery went and everything when I got back from the hospital and the darn laptop wasn't getting a good signal and timed out and took all of my blog with it. GRRRR. But now I have regular DSL and don't worry about the time-outs.
So surgery went fine. I don't remember much. I know I had horrible gas pain and found it hard to get up and walk without crying and throwing up but that passed about a week out of the hospital. I remember being so thirsty and only getting ice chips. THe rest is all a blur with little memories here and there.
I am about 2 months out and all is awesome. I am eating real food yay and found a protien that I actually like. Isopure zero carb fruit drink thingies are the best. 40 grams of protien per 20oz. LOVE IT!! I find it hard to eat all day to get the protien in by food so until that time I will take these drinks. I have lost about 50 pounds so far. I think that is awesome. I get a little discouraged by the stalls but I know I will lose this. I posted a before and after picture and WOW the difference is amazing, even to me!!! I swim every morning at 5am and try to ride my bike when I can. I need to get to the gym on a regular basis but it's so hard. I do play the wii once in a while and OMG I can step on it and the big red box doesn't come on telling me that they can't measure me. It's kinda neat!!
So for the shitty stuff...I lost my job!!! Not my fault it was a total set up but nothing I can do about it now. I would like to save my reputation but I KNOW that in this small town no matter what is said to try to save it someone will say something to make me look bad so why bother right? I am depressed as all hell. I actually have an appointment with my dr for meds. I can't get outta my funk. Nothing to do with surgery but everything bad that can happen is happening and I can't deal. I need to find a job but with the rest of America, it is not an easy process. So I thought of moving with my dad for a while and finding a job in his town but I think he was saying the unemployment rate is higher there than here...ugh. I absolutely refuse to work at McDonalds and besides I pay my babysitter about minimum wage so why work for free?? AND I can't have a job that has too many different shifts because I have 4 kids and my husband works out of town most of the time so I need to get them off to school and be home when they get off the bus. There aren't too many 9-5 jobs around. It is just so depressing!!!
So there is my little update. Hope you all are doing good!!
Getting so close with big questions.
Jun 22, 2009
So it's getting so close! Tomorrow I have my pre-admission appointment!! It is so weird thinking that I will be having this done in less than a month. In a week I will start the 2 week pre-op diet!!! That means I only have 3 weeks to go. I am so nervous!! My friend is starting her crap again. For a minute I doubted myself. But ya know what I am too awesome to change. I will still be awesome me just a smaller awesome me. Someone said something to me last week that got me a little pissed. He said in about 6 months you'll be hot and then we'll have to see what's up. I got instantly pissed. I jumped all over his behind and said that I am hot now and if he thinks a body makes a person hot he is still too immature to find out what's up. But I never really thought about that. How do people see me now? Will they make time for me when I am thinner? Are people really that sad that they think a body makes a person? Or is this all things I've told myself to make me feel better for being fat? I am still thinking about this big question and still trying to decide if jumping all over him was right or if there was some truth to it that I've been too blind to see.
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Just a little update on me.
Jun 14, 2009
So I have been away for a while and boy oh boy have I missed being here everyday!
**I moved. I moved into a bigger house with more room for my kiddies to move around in. My husband hates it because we had a 4 car garage and now we have a mini carport that our big ass trucks cant even fit under...lol. But the kids are happy and so am I. He does like the house though.
**I finished my 6 month monitoring with the Dr. I had a OMG moment when he said I will never see you again unless you come in to show us your new body. I cried thinking OMG I am gonna have a new body. Then cried again when he wrote in big letters."CLEARED FOR SURGERY" Wow...just wow...
**I HAVE A DATE!!! I saw the surgeon and got my date set I will be having WLS July 15, 2009 at 7:30 am. I am crazy nervous. I was putting all the info in my blackberry and my tummy was flip flopping and going nuts!! I put all the different diet days in the calendar and now for once in three years my blackberry is getting it's intended use. (Which makes my husband happy..hehehe)
**A good friend of mine just had surgery on the 4th of June and she has been awesome with me and all my questions. I know I can ask questions here and read all about stuff but it makes it a little better knowing I know this chick.
**So as long as everything goes according to plan I will start my life in about a month!!!!!
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**I moved. I moved into a bigger house with more room for my kiddies to move around in. My husband hates it because we had a 4 car garage and now we have a mini carport that our big ass trucks cant even fit under...lol. But the kids are happy and so am I. He does like the house though.
**I finished my 6 month monitoring with the Dr. I had a OMG moment when he said I will never see you again unless you come in to show us your new body. I cried thinking OMG I am gonna have a new body. Then cried again when he wrote in big letters."CLEARED FOR SURGERY" Wow...just wow...
**I HAVE A DATE!!! I saw the surgeon and got my date set I will be having WLS July 15, 2009 at 7:30 am. I am crazy nervous. I was putting all the info in my blackberry and my tummy was flip flopping and going nuts!! I put all the different diet days in the calendar and now for once in three years my blackberry is getting it's intended use. (Which makes my husband happy..hehehe)
**A good friend of mine just had surgery on the 4th of June and she has been awesome with me and all my questions. I know I can ask questions here and read all about stuff but it makes it a little better knowing I know this chick.
**So as long as everything goes according to plan I will start my life in about a month!!!!!
Visual Refreshment...ahhhhh.
Mar 31, 2009
I see the before and after photos on my start page every time I log in here and it makes me soooo excited to see MY before and afters! I get this crazy adrenaline rush. It makes me want to go jog. I am so excited when I read posts about other peoples surgery day and about people that have gotten the approval. This is just absolutely the best decision I have ever made for myself. I was doing my hair just a minute ago and felt soooo BLAH...ugly and fat and just yucky. So I logged in here and I was instantly refreshed and feeling better and feeling like there is hope for me like I CAN do this and I WILL do this no matter the struggles and no matter what life throws at me I WILL do this, I WILL...
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What's in YOUR mouth?
Mar 30, 2009
OK so today I had to write in my work journal and it occured to me that I need to keep a food journal. I read somewhere that keeping tabs on what you eat by writing it down helps you consume like 30% less callories vs. not writing it down. So I started today and OMG it makes me LOOK at what I eat. I mean all there in green and white. My friend looked and then wrote her stuff down and WOW we were amazed at WHAT we eat and how much and how it looks in the BIG picture. For example I will drink my shake then a couple hours later I eat a yogurt. THen I eat my lunch and a couple hours later I have a snack, etc. So hour by hour I am thinking that I ate HOURS ago but when it's all written down I realize that no matter the time span I still consume a lot of calories. So starting today I am going to keep this food journal and LOOK at what I eat. I am going to post what I eat here and in a few weeks I will update to see if it actually does help me consume fewer calories.
Monday March, 30 2009
8am~ EAS protien shake
10:30am~ yoplait light yogurt
1pm~ Lean cuisine french bread pizza
4pm~ 2 serving spoons chili beans (my mom's and you just can't pass them up...)
7:30 pm~ chicken breast and about a cup of cooked rice (white...ACKKK)
8pm~ 2 large glasses of high calorie high sugar mojito stuff.
OK so I soooo could have cut out the chili beans or had the chili beans and not eaten the chicken and I definitely need to stop having drinks. I can also quit eating the 10am snack because I KNOW I need a 3-4pm snack otherwise I over eat at dinner. ANYWAYS this is a day in my food life and I see that I need to improve in some areas and get used to eating different. This surgery is just HELP, not a brain transplant. I may have screwed up today but tomorrow is a new day...YAY ME!!
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Monday March, 30 2009
8am~ EAS protien shake
10:30am~ yoplait light yogurt
1pm~ Lean cuisine french bread pizza
4pm~ 2 serving spoons chili beans (my mom's and you just can't pass them up...)
7:30 pm~ chicken breast and about a cup of cooked rice (white...ACKKK)
8pm~ 2 large glasses of high calorie high sugar mojito stuff.
OK so I soooo could have cut out the chili beans or had the chili beans and not eaten the chicken and I definitely need to stop having drinks. I can also quit eating the 10am snack because I KNOW I need a 3-4pm snack otherwise I over eat at dinner. ANYWAYS this is a day in my food life and I see that I need to improve in some areas and get used to eating different. This surgery is just HELP, not a brain transplant. I may have screwed up today but tomorrow is a new day...YAY ME!!
About Me
Winslow, AZ
Location
34.0
BMI
Surgery
07/15/2009
Surgery Date
Feb 01, 2009
Member Since
