Sue M.

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i was stuck in traffic today thinking about the different reasons why i'm having RNY surgery.   I thought i'd throw them down "in writing" so i can revisit during the hard times to come:

i'm sick of low blood sugar, high blood sugar and insulin injections.
i've gained 30lbs in less than 10 years.  another 10 years and i'd have been over 300 lbs.  it can happen when you are choosing to not pay attention.
February 25, 2008 - date of my physical when i was told my weight, that i had high cholesterol...
my trusted PCP suggested i investigate surgery.
i hate getting up to pee in the middle of the night
my feet just don't feel right
i can't do the things i used to do - or i'm just plain afraid to try.
i'd like to take my niece and nephew to an amusement park - and fit on the rides!
i want to prove that i am NOT my Aunt Sandi
i want MORE life, more running, skipping, jumping
i want my physical health to improve as much as my mental health.
i want to erase the physical traces of my childhood abuse - which caused sleep and eating disorders.
i want to not need a bigger suitcase on vacation because my clothes take more room. 
i want to sit comfortably in the movie theater, or an airplane, the bus, the train, or just anywhere.
i want to stop sweating when it's not that hot.
i want to look like i'm related to my family.

i can't believe how fast time is going by - i figured it would be slow going the last few weeks, but with so much to do at work, at home - surgery just keeps getting closer. 

I'm collecting protein samples, but haven't bothered to try any.  i've never had chocolate milk or a milkshake.  i'm not sure if i will like it now, nevermind later when i need to.  i've got many fruit flavors, unflavored, chicken broth, vanilla, chocolate... so we'll see what works best. 

I had my preop testing the other day, which went great as far as the surgical center went.  my visit with the nurse and surgeon was brutal.  my weight had gone up - no one taking into account that it was now winter instead of sundress and sandals weather.  i managed to get them to re-weigh me after i had peeled off some layers because i had noticed the preop nurse got a weight 2 lbs less than the surgeon's office.  i managed to go from 265 at 10am to 260 at 1pm.  minus my shoes and a sweater.  and i peed.  LOL

this week i'm going for my blended foods class and one last pre-op support group meeting - with my very own support group.  My mom, my boyfriend, my "sister" and my best friend are coming with me.  My real sister has concert tickets that night, but her best friend is coming, which means so much to me.  My sister is coming the day of surgery.   I think it will be weird for her and my mom to wait to hear from the surgeon about me....the 3 of us spent many hours together waiting for new of my dad.  It's really emotional thinking about it all.

Bring on November 12th! 

I'm looking forward to whatever the next 28 days bring, so long as i end up with my RNY.  i'm planning a farewell tour of food, a romantic getaway, I hired someone to help clean the apartment every other week and protein powder is on it's way!  I'm so freaking ready!!!!!!!

Today i finished the 'i can change' program that Tufts required me to complete before i could schedule surgery.  After my last call with my health coach, Susan, I called Dr. Gazmuri's office.  I left a message with the insurance person that they could submit.  She called me back and said that it was all set, they should get approval in a the next few days and i should have a surgery date in November sometime next week!!!!  WHOOOHOOO.  it's starting t o get REAL.

sometimes my packrat tendencies can help me out.... I put on a shirt this morning that was a size 14/16.  i can't believe it fits, and i can't believe I still own it!!

I'm going to the doctor's on Thursday, and I can't wait to see if all this "movement" is for real.  I was down another 1.2 today, and my size 22 skirts is bunching up from being so loose, but it seems unreal based on some of the crap i've been eating.  No exercise, and some big dishes of ice cream, and down a pound???  Where was this weight loss years and years ago???

Loving thedailyplate.com so much right now.  I lost another pound this past week.  i wasn't so sure i would lose again, but i did.  it's really helping me with my insulin dosage too.  whoohoo

 Yesterday we had another meet-up of people from OH in the greater Boston area at my mom's house.  It was a lot of fun and nice to hear everyone swap stories, solutions, recipes, tricks, etc.  my family eavesdropped and asked questions. 

I'm so ready to have the surgery, so i can get started on the real work.  i hope the approval process is smooth sailing.  this 6 month wait for the insurance company is mean enough! 

I think I wore size 20 when i was 20.  I started this process in a 24 top and bottom.  I've had a few 22 skirts hidden in my closet that I've been wearing comfortably this summer, but today I found a size 20 hidden away.  I put it on and didn't even have to suck in for the zipper.  Just committing to having this surgery has done a lot to change my life.  I worry that I'll be too small!  Hopefully no one will weigh me before they submit my records for approval.... I suspect I will be under the 40 BMI before long, and while I am still a diabetic, my high cholesterol is now gone.  amazing.  I know that spending my time on the boards hearing about cured diabetes and less exhaustion is motivating me a lot.  Hearing about people at size 6 from size 34 is just astounding.  I'd be thrilled to be a 14!

I was in a Kmart Friday night.  Didn't really need anything, just needed to get out of the house while the plumber was replacing a toilet.  On a whim I looked at the shorts and decided that I really could use another pair since I can't seem to find any of mine.  I found some for $9.99 which was all I was willing to spend since I will not need them next year.  I took a chance and bought the 2X's since they seemed big enough and I could always return them.  I couldn't believe it when I got home and they actually FIT!

I haven't worn a 2X bottom in forever.  Usually stuff from any of the "marts" runs small, so I'm really surprised, and just plain thrilled.

I also got another A1C result in.  Last time it was 6.8, down from 7.8.  On friday it came in at 6.6!  whooohoo!  I was hoping for 6.2, but any amount lower is better!!!

I've been falling off my wagon lately, so this news will hopefully encourage me to continue better habits until my big day!

So, I've completed 3 months of the "I Can Change" Program that Tufts is making me do.  only 3 months more to go.  Some days I feel like time is dragging, and other times it's just flying by.  I guess it helps that summer is smack in the middle of all of this since summer is my busiest time at work and summer always goes by too fast. 

I feel like I've lost some of my will and am making some bad food choices more often than I should.  I keep reminding myself that I have made some changes that really do seem to be permanent.  A LOT less carbs in my diet, and I don't feel deprived about that.  AMEN.