Forgive me first love. the break up

Sep 14, 2010

I learned that there is a constant battle between the person I am evolving into and the person that I am shedding each day.Despite my intentions to move on, The fat girl has no intention of going away peacefully. She feels entitled! After all she has been a welcomed host in my body, mind and spirit for 35 years. And until now I have allowed her to run amuck! I've asked her to go on many occasions and each time she would disappear  temporarily and then the allure of her would always reunite us.
Now that I am at another turning point the fat girl is having  tantrums! "Don't work out today I am tired" "That's too hard" "Lets just stay in bed we hard a hard day we can do it tomorrow"! I had to shut her up. I used to do it with Hag-gen Daz and Krispy Kreme but now I ignore her and feed my emotional and emptiness with positive thoughts.Now that its time to move on. I am under no illusions, I know she will show up again every now and then.  I will remember to thank her for all being there when I didn't know or wasn't willing to live another way. I thank her for doing what she thought was protecting me and comforting me. But know that I know better I need to do better. I am worthy of the new life and loves ahead me. In order to claim them I need to let you go. So forgive me first love.

Today the difference between impossible and possible is WILL.

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