Old Blog from May 15, 2003 - September 1, 2006

Mar 26, 2011

9-1-06
Life is getting better each and everyday. I'm dealing with a lot of self esteem and body images. I look into the mirror and it still surprises me that that is me in the mirror. I need to get used to people looking at me, whereas I used to hide behind my fat. My man-friend has been so wonderful. I am so happy being with him. He is an amazing man. I'm certainly going to stay with him. The more we are together the more I'm falling in love with him. I wish all the best to my former husband. He is a great dad, we just aren't good being married together. So I pray in time that the kids will adjust to the new lifestyle. I'm healing each and everyday now. I continue to wear my "girdle" for support from my panniculectomy I had on 7-17-06. I'm so pleased with the results. What an amazing transformation! I got a photo from the surgeon of what they took off. It's really gross, but a good reminder of what I had done to my body. It has now been 2 years and 5 months since my RNY surgery. I am doing wonderfully. I'm afraid to gain the weight. I feel I'm using the tools that are given to me. I see my counselor, eat small meals thoughout the day, and exercise. There are foods that I used to binge on big time, pizza was number one. How awful that I used to eat the whole pizza and then some. I have wasted so much time, money and energy on all of this excess food which in turn I gained so much weight because I was masking my feelings. I regret many things with raising my kids. Mostly because I didn't cook much, and that the meals should have been more healthier and a variety. Plus we should have been more active promoting a more active lifestyle instead of watching so much TV. Each generation improves on the next. It's never too late to learn and grow, so I plan to implement the new healthy way of life from now on in my home.

8-11-06
I had my panniculectomy 3 weeks ago on July 17th. Dr. Ahmed Abdullah from the Plastic Surgery Institute performed my surgery. I would have to say that this surgery caused my pain that the actual gastric bypass. Being cut from hip to hip, well actually further than that with 88 staples has been a lot to recover from. The procedure went well. I took 2 weeks off from work and went 1/2 days for the first week back to work. If I had more time off, I would have definately taken more time off. They took 7 pounds off with lopping off that big floppy chunk of fat of mine. And then I had lost another 3 pounds as well. So an instant 10 more pounds I lost in a matter of 2 weeks. I'm so glad that I did it. Insurance covered the basic procedure. But I opted to do the facial tightening as well, which is to tighten up the muscled underneath. So that was $2,700 out of pocket that I needed to fork over.

I'm getting used to single life. I have my same love, whom has been supportin me tremendously. I have gone through so much in the past 2 years. Well actually longer than that. Looking upon my journals from the past years, I have wanted a divorce since 1992 at least. I had such low self esteem, and I thought that nobody would love me, other than my husband, so I stayed with him, trying to be good in the marriage. I self medicated myself with food, and escaped from life.

Finally hitting rock bottom, I decided to get the surgery. Then after being qualified then finally having it done 4-23-04. Then I have now lost 145 pounds. I was at 320 and now I'm at 175. I am 5'11" so I am right in the correct range for my size. I'm in size 12 and some 14's. So I'm pleased with that. When I look into the mirror, I am surpised at how much I have changed. It is such a major transformation. I have to reintroduce myself to many that havene't seen me since before the surgery. Sometimes, I don't want to reintroduce myself, as I'd like to leave that old relationship in the past. So then I get divorced, I have a new love, worry about my finances, mending my relationship with my kids, mostly with my daughter. I am struggling with faith and how I fit in with the Catholic Church. They are supporting me in the divorce and I am in process of getting it annulled. It's the fact that the church is advising me that I am wrong to be in a relationship so soon after the divorce. I need time to heal. And I feel that I'm doing that, but to the church, they are saying that my boyfriend should leave me forever. That is pretty harsh. So one of my problems is to decide should I remain in the Catholic church or to seek a new church.

Well, the saga continues. I need to pray for the answer to come to the mentioned situations and others that I keep in my heart.

3-31-06
I'm coming up on my 2 year anniversary next month, April 23. How much has changed since my surgery. I remember reading all these books, websites, the support groups about gastric bypass and they would all say the same thing that post op, relationships change drastically. Most particularly your spouse. I did say, "not me", that won't happen to us. Well, it did. As I had mentioned in my last entry last November! (Sorry for the delay in my entries.) Dennis and I are now divorced. There were many circumstances that led to that decision. But I have to be honest in that I finally gained the courage to do something about the failing relationship. He is a good man, and father, but our marriage was not working out. I went straight from my parents at age 17 to Dennis. I am now 38 and am just feeling like a grown up. Sad, but true. I know I am not alone in this. I had lost myself, and just went along with what society, or what I thought society, says that I should do. I have been struggling to be the right person. Be it wife, mother, friend, daughter, sister, what have you. I recently looked back at my journal entries and my decision to change was solidified by what I had been feeling for many years.

I am scared, yet excited in what the future will bring. And in the midst of this change, I have found a new love. He's a wonderful man. I need to take this slow and first get to know who I am before I can give myself to someone else. I am also told that it's just not healthy to jump into another relationship so fast after another long-term relationship. Which by the way had been 21 years!

I met with Dr. Howell, my surgeon, back in January and he said that I would qualify for the tummy tuck. But he admits that he isn't a plastic surgeon and that I would lose my belly button and have a big "T" shaped scar. It's not like I'm looking to be a swimsuit model :) but he even suggested looking into a second opinion. So in May I'm going to see Dr. Amed Abdullah here in Fargo. I can't wait to get my tummy fixed. I hate what my stomach looks like. I feel great with most clothes on, but yuck, I hate all of the extra skin. I won't go into the details, but you know the song, "Do your ears hang low, do they wobble to and fro". Well that's how my stomach is to me. I should be thankful, in that I don't have a saggy neck, batwings for arms. If I ever had extra money, I would get the inner thighs done as well. But it's my stomach that is the worst.

It really saddens me how I have damaged my body by gaining so much weight. And then losing, gaining, losing, gaining, etc so many times, and finally have been given this wonderful tool - gastric bypass surgery. If I had taken better care of myself, I wouldn't have this loose skin and to have to go through such drastic things to fix my body. But I'm here now. I've learned my lesson, the hard way.

Another thing that has happened that I have now been diagnosed as Bipolar I. That had been my original diagnosis back in 1992, and I have been fighting that Stigma. But last fall I went into this 2 month mania phase that resulted in a lot of bad things that happened. I went to see my therapist, and back to see the Nurse Practioner that manages my meds, and I definately am Bipolar, not just depressed. So I am now on Lamictal, and doing great. We are still adjusting my med level, but so far so good.

Well, that's me in a nut shell. Still on a journey. I thank all of you for your love, support, and prayers. I've met some wonderful people through this website. I have had the opportunity to mentor many as well.

I'll try not to take so long in between my journal entries, and I hope to update my pictures soon as well.

Jennifer - The Butterfly Girl

11-19-05
1 year and 7 months after my life changing surgery, I have lost 145 pounds, and this butterfly girl has really spread her wings. As I am changing and getting more confidence, I am feeling better about myself and to make changes about my life. Sadly, Dennis and I are going to get divorced. It was my idea, but I know that it is the right idea. A weight loss will not fix a relationship. In my case, it has opened old wounds that needed to be dealt with, and the divorce is the answer for us. We need to make sure that the children will be o.k. I continue to exercise and am toning up. I'm getting frustrated with my loose skin around my stomach. I would like to inquire about a tummy tuck, but am afraid the out of pocket costs will be too much. I haven't been to a support group meeting in many months. I should as I need some ideas for when food just isn't going down. And lately my vitamins/meds haven't been going down either. One day I threw up because things were stuck in my throat, and there came an undisolved pill. :(
I am feeling so happy and I am so grateful for the opportunity to share my story with others. I have shared this website to those with questions and I have recieved such positive feedback and am able to help others as well. One new experience is that I have started to do sprints while I'm walking. I feel so free and light like a gazzlle running those quick sprints. It's an amazing feeling and I can see why runner's get this runner's high. That is a goal for me to actually run a mile straight without stopping. Well Happy Thanksgiving. I am thankful for: God, my family, Dr. Howell, my new life which includes my energy level, increased happiness, less anxiety, and seeing the results so fast of losing weight. Well, I need to get some sleep. But most of all, I'm thankful for all of your love and support. -Jennifer

9-2-05
Well, I've been getting very bad about updating my site. My weight loss is still going, but it is slowing down as I'm nearing my goal. I have now lost 140 pounds! I had my hair cut and colored, I had my 20th high school reunion, and have been very active with exercising. I go to Curves and I walk and ride my bike. I can easily ride over 10 miles on my bike, and I love getting out to walk. I have been slowly adding a little jog in my walking, I never thought I could imagine that I'd be doing that a few years ago. Now with my new image, it's been hard getting used to. People continue to treat me differently, and it's hard for me to react at times. Lately I have been dealing with some personal stressful feelings that I need to address, as I can not eat anymore to dull the pain, so I will forge through and deal with these issues. People ask me if I'm glad that I had the surgery. And YES! I am so glad that I did it, and I would do it all over again, if I had to. Until next time - Jennifer

5-26-05
Scroll down to see my new photo!
5-23-05
13 months have gone by. I have now lost 132 pounds. It certainly has slowed down as I have lost only 2 pounds since a month ago. I was looking at some old pictures of me, and it's amazing how different I looked. I was trapped in that fat body! For those of you who have been following on my journey I have made some major life changes since my surgery. Most recently I have changed jobs. Actually I was unemployed for 3 months, and seeing less stressed out I was. I had more time to be with my husband and kids and to exercise, that I came across this wonderful part time job. So now I'm the Volunteer Manager at the Plains Art Museum. See the website at www.plainsart.org Another thing is that I was named Mrs. Fargo and was to compete in the Mrs. North Dakota pageant. Well, that just recently fell through and based on my values and how the pageant was organized, I decided to withraw from the pageant. Many emotions have gone through my head in regards to this situation. My main thing that I wanted to do was to be in this pageant to celebrate my new body. Well, I have arrived. I feel and look "pageant worthy", but now things have changed and seems so trivial and in vain. I feel the most worst about my friends at my church who have supported me on the endeavor. But I know that they will support me no matter what. I continue to exercise and eat right, and being a vegetarian that has had gastric bypass has been interesting. Lately I have been having problems with eating the "skin" from foods like apples and cucumbers. It's been something new everyday. But I'm loving it everyday! Thanks for your emails. I appreciate your love and support. - Jennifer

4-23-05
Happy Birthday to me! It was one year ago today that I had my gastric bypass surgery. I'm happy to report that I have now lost 130 pounds! What an amazing year I have had. I thank you all for your prayers and well wishes as I have traveled on this journey.
I am now 190 lbs. My one year check up with Dr. Howell went very well. He was very proud of me. I will go back to see him in 8-10 months. It is then that he will determine if I will need a tummy tuck and if so, there is a big criteria that my insurance will need to qualify, including pictures! My youthful 37 years old body is still elastic, so some of the skin is bouncing back, but it's still a lot of skin. But I don't care, I am healthier and can wrestle on the floor with my kids, exercise and feel good about it. I've been going to Curves at least 3 times a week and then walking or biking 2-3 times a week as well. I am,.... get this.... starting to jog! Yes, you read it correctly, I'm jogging about 1/4 a mile in between my walking spurts. My goal is to connect those little jogging spurts and jog a whole mile, and then do more from there. My lab work came back and Dr. Howell's nurse said that everything was great except for my iron. So I am t taking an iron supplement every day now instead of twice a week as we had first planned. I know that it's because I'm a vegetarian. I still have problems with pasta and bread, but those were my comfort foods anyway, so it's good that I can't gorge on those foods. My mom gave me a great smoothie recipe, which I love, it's delicious and I get lots of protein that way. It's 1/4 of a Tofu "chunk", 3/4 cup Soy Milk (I like Silk Vanilla brand), 4 ice cubes, 2 packets of equal, 8 frozen strawberries or whatever fruit. Yummy! It could compete against Orange Julius any day. I will get some updated pictures of me soon, I've been getting emails from some of you to get them updated. I have started a new job which is part time so I can dedicate my time to my family and myself and my faith. Thanks for all of your support! - Jennifer
2-14-05
Happy Valentine's Day! I've now lost 115 pounds. It feel so good. I bought some new tennis shoes so it's been fun wearing them when I work out. I feel so light and free. It's amazing how I feel now that I have my life back. Now I see others out that are suffering from obesity and I know that they would benefit from having this surgery. It's a major life change, but it's so worth it. But I know if someone like me came up to an obese person to say, "Have you ever thought of gastric bypass surgery?" I probably would punch them in the nose! But I should make some of those before and after business cards to share my website with people. I tell many about it and I have met so many wonderful people that I am so happy to share my story. I recently spoke to a youth group from my church and I am so grateful for sharing with them as they had so many questions about my surgery, and my other issues. The article below was recently printed in my church newsletter. I thought I'd share it with you all.

Mrs. Fargo, a.k.a. Jennifer Langevin, is one of our own

by Roxane Salonen

At the 11 o’clock Mass on any given Sunday at Sts Anne & Joachim, you very well could be sitting next to one of Fargo’s newest local celebrities. Among the crowd, or sometimes on the altar serving as a proclaimer or Eucharistic minister, you might rub elbows with Jennifer Langevin, a.k.a. Mrs. Fargo.
“I have always been a pageant buff,” Jennifer said. “I competed in the Miss Minnesota Teen Pageant while in high school, then I started a preliminary pageant to the Miss Minnesota pageant while living in Warroad, Minn., and also have been a pageant judge for various local pageants.” With a younger sister who once was crowned Miss Thief River Falls and competed in the Miss Minnesota pageant, Jennifer said she comes from a true “pageant family.”
Born and raised in Thief River Falls, Minn, the 37-year-old Jennifer married her high school sweetheart, Dennis Langevin, in 1988. They have two children: Kathryn, 12, and Alexander, 8.
“Well, after getting married in 1988, the prospect of being a ‘Miss Whatever’ was over,” she said. Then several friends and acquaintances recently began suggesting she consider pursuing the Mrs. North Dakota pageant. She eventually followed through and subsequently was chosen to represent our state as Mrs. Fargo-America.
The Mrs. North Dakota-America pageant will take place in Fargo the weekend of May 20. The winner will compete for Mrs. America, and that winner competes for Mrs. World. The pageant will be based on evening gown, physical fitness, personal interview, onstage interview and personal statement.

According to its official website, the Mrs. North Dakota America pageant “recognizes the virtues of family, professionalism, education, and community involvement among married women,” and “offers an opportunity to promote those areas of our lives which are so important Many pageants include platforms – or topics on which participants focus as an area of priority and concern during their reign.
For her platform, Jennifer chose depression and obesity – two subjects she has come to know quite well.
“As women we need to take care of ourselves to be better wives, moms, etc.,” she said. “So many times we, as caregivers, ‘let ourselves go’ as we are constantly busy with family, work etc. But a healthy me will make me a better mom, wife, employee.”
Although she had been at a healthy weight and very active in sports growing up, Jennifer said, when she moved away from home she “rebelled.”
“I didn't exercise, ate fast food, and started into a very deep depression. I joke that I would've made a good alcoholic, but I don't like the taste, so food became my ‘drug of choice,’” she explained.
“Everyone has to eat, and it's legal to buy as much food as you want at the grocery store and even eat and drive. Instead of turning to God for help, I was turning toward food,” she said. “But cheesecake and pizza are not my God. God is my God! I have struggled with that simple concept for 20 years now and can finally say that I have been set free from the sin of gluttony.”
Jennifer had gained 100 pounds at one point before losing it on the Optifast diet. “Oprah Winfrey and I were doing that diet together at the same time, and both regained our weight and then some afterwards,” she said. “I went right back into my eating for coping.”
And then, after the birth of her daughter in 1992, she suffered an emotional breakdown, was hospitalized for over a month for depression, and finally diagnosed with clinical depression.

“I look back now at that time as a positive one as it set me in the right direction; not on a continuous basis, I must add. I would lose the weight to then put it all back on again. It was a vicious cycle.”
Jennifer said she knew the three items needed for a healthy life, but did not combine them correctly or put them in the proper perspective “Those three are: God first, then eating properly and exercise,” she said. “God made us and we need to honor Him by taking care of ourselves to glorify Him.”
To help herself, Jennifer tried numerous programs -- Weight Watchers, Nutri System, Jenny Craig and Overeaters Anonymous. “(These) are all great programs, but I just needed to get the entire emotion out of the whole eating situation,” she said. So after much prayer, on April 23 of last year, Jennifer had gastric bypass surgery and lost 105 pounds, and hopes to lose even more.
“The surgery is simply a tool,” she said. “I eat for simply filling up my ‘gas tank’ for energy to work for the day. Now when I'm feeling depressed…or simply stressed out from everyday life, I don't run to the fridge or the cupboards. I go to my favorite chair, chair, light a candle and pray to God. Then I read some scripture. I really can identify with so many biblical characters and saints, so on any given day, I can learn from their mistakes.”
Jennifer said that with the honor of representing the area through her title, she hopes to speak to local women about the importance of taking care of themselves, and to warn them that obesity is dangerous and that having depression is not a stigma.
She also is passionate about her faith, having converted to Catholicism in 1990. “I would love to speak professionally about my personal issues and relate them to the Catholic faith on how everything goes back to God -- our trials, joys, and everything in , and everything in between,” she said.
If you'd like Jennifer to speak to your group about her faith and goals , call her at 701-239-8436.

1-22-05
Well, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! It has been a month since I last made an entry. My weight is now at 208 pounds which is a 112 pound loss. It will be 9 months since my surgery tommorrow! WOW! I am feeling wonderful, on top of the world. I'm not on the computer as much as I'm out being active. Curves, walking, playing with the kids, basketball games, you name it. I'm buying a few basic pieces of clothes, still at the consignment store, like an $8 skirt and a $5 sweater. My goal is a 12 and right now I'm at a 16/18. Some friends of mine are now getting their surgery dates, I wish them all the best and my prayers are with them for a speedy and healthy recovery. Follow what your dr. says, and you will do just fine. Well, I'm off again!

12-22-04
It's been over a month since I last updated my site. I'm sorry for those living far away from me that are learning about my progress only through this site. It will be 8 months since my surgery tomorrow! Time has sure gone by so fast! I have now hit the 100 pound loss, actually I've now lost 105 pounds as of today. I joined Curves now and that has been nice to go in and out in only 45 minutes and have a really good work out. I'm amazing me on how I'm actually jogging or running, (did I say that?) on the recovery stations in between the machines. So I plan to lose 35 more pounds, and I know that these pounds will take longer and then I need to tone up big time. Because.... I am now Mrs. Fargo! Yes, it's true. I will be competing in the Mrs. North Dakota pageant the weekend of May 20th here in Fargo. I feel like Cinderella, and that dreams do come true. I have so much energy now. I'm doing so well with my food. Bread is still hard to eat being it's so soft it's like a sponge going down. But I keep plugging away and exercising and drinking lots of water. I switched to the sublingual B12 vitamin, and that has been nice. I've been trying different protein shakes that our dietician here at the hospital I work at gets, then I give her my reviews. There are some really good ones, and then some very bad ones. Many people are asking how I'm going to be around all the Christmas food. Well, I survived Thanksgiving just fine. And I'm sure Christmas is fine too. For me the surgery was a tool that got the weight off, but I really feel completely healed from the sin of gluttony. I believe when Msgr. Gross annointed me before my surgery, I was healed by God and was ready to stop this insanity of eating right there. Food is food. My fuel for my body, that's it. I finally get it. A HEALTHY life is like a 3-legged stool. I need all 3 legs in order to stay upright and have things work. Those 3 things are: God, eating right, and exercise. When I look back at previous weight loss attempts, I never did have all three going for me at one time. I am healed and I have enjoyed meeting so many of you through my journey sharing my joys and sorrows in order to help many of you. Pray for me as for the pageant there is a swimsuit competition! But with God, all things are possible!! Blessing to you on the celebration of Jesus' birth. Love, Jennifer

11-12-04
I now weigh 95 pounds less! It's slowing down now, but I am feeling great! So for those that have been trying to do their math to figure out what I weigh now, I'll tell you. The day of my surgery on April 23rd, I weighed 320 and now I weigh 225. That is 95 pounds in 6 1/2 months! I've been meeting so many wonderful people and I'm an open book about my surgery. Many are afraid to ask me really personal questions, but why not ask, I'd love to help out in any way. My hair loss has subsided, and there is some new hair growth already. My loose skin is pretty saggy. I showed my sister my stomach, and I don't think she'll ever be the same again. I wear good supporting panty hose, but I think I will look into a tummy tuck down the road. People are now asking me, "How much more do you want to lose?" Well, I guess I will know it when I get there, or really how clothes fit on me. Being 6 feet tall, (Well to be honest, I'm 5"11 3/4), the height and weight charts say that I should be around 170. So based on that, I should lose 55 more pounds. Now that winter is coming, I am going to have to go walking indoors now, and see what is available for lap swimming in town. Well, here's to regaining my health!

10-31-04
I now weigh 92 pounds less! I had a successful 6 month checkup. Dr. Howell was please with my results, and he said that my scar was lightening up nicely. Linda my dietician said that I was lacking in protein, so I am trying a variety of Protein Shakes. She suggested getting Isopure from GNC. It was $50 for the packets. I don't care for the taste, but I will finish these and experiment with some others. I brought two people to a support group. The mom works with my husband and the daughter is interested in the surgery. I pray that she will get her surgery date as soon as possible. Then the next day I spoke to a new patient who is interested in the surgery along with the dietician and then I came back to talk with the support group at Dakota Clinic. It's so nice to share my story to help others but I always learn more from the people that I speak to as well. The dietician at Innovis is sending me protein shake samples that she gets from vendors for me to try, thanks Chris! I got my first Obesity Help magazine recently. I read it from cover to cover. It's so nice to read other's stories to see how they are doing. My hair is thinning so much that I'm going to get a haircut into a blundt cut to appear thicker. I know this hair loss is temporary, with having lost so much weight so fast. I pray that God will continue to watch over me and guide me to getting to a safe and healthy weight. Before sugery, my weight was 320, today I'm 228. I plan to lose 58 more pounds so I can get to 170. (I'm 6 feet tall). I know I can do it. It's funny how my skin is so loose. In some places it's getting better, and I've been exercising. I'm only 37 so hopely my youthful elasticity will be on my side. I like what I'm seeing in the mirror lately. It's so good hearing the positive comments from my friends, family, and co-workers. It keeps me going on this journey.

10-10-04
I had a wonderful weekend at the Marian Eucharistic Congress here in Fargo. It rejuventated my faith and I met a lot of wonderful people as well. I have now lost 85 lbs! This THursday Oct. 14th, I have an appt. with the dietician and Dr. Howell. I have also taken an updated picture to put on my site, and I sent it to the Obesity Help webmaster person, but I haven't heard from them yet. I know there is only one volunteer person that puts the pictures on, so please be patient for those that are waiting to see my updated picture. I have been sharing my story and website with many. The more I share, the better. I have been asked to speak at the October information meeting and the support group at Dakota Clinic/Innovis Health later this month. So that should be fun!

9-27-04 I wanted to share my Cholesterol Numbers with you.

Total Cholesterol 141 (0-200 range)
HDL 53 (50-60)
LDL 88 ( 3-100)
Triglyceride 58 (0-150)

9-26-04
Drum roll please............... I have now lost 80 lbs!! I am feeling wonderful! I need to get smaller clothes again. I've been walking and doing floor exercises like situps for my very loose skin tummy. I am drinking tons of water, and taking my vitamins. My blood work came back wonderful, so I am doing great! Bread just is not going to be a main course for me anymore. I still choke on the bread. I love pizza, so when Dennis and I went out last Wednesday night when the kids were in religious education, we ordered a pizza and I scooped the toppings, cheese and everything off of the crust off of 2 slices. Yes, that's a wierd way to eat pizza, but it was good. Soup is still my favorite, along with cottage cheese with fruit, yogert, and fresh fruit and veggies. The crunchy kind mostly. I've lost a lot of hair, thank goodness I had a lot to begin with. It's interesting how some people react to me after not seeing my transfermation. It's like, was I that fat and ugly before? I get the positive reactions from women, about 99% of the comments come from women. Men, I don't know, if they are awkward or what, or if they do, it seems inappropriate coming from them. Another thing I am finding that is interesting is how some people to tell me to stop losing weight in that they don't want to see me get too skinny. Ha for funny to even hear that. I'd like to lose about 40-50 more pounds that should bring me to wearing a size 14, and at 6 feet tall, that is just fine in my book. I have been told that I haven't been updating my site as often, and I guess with my weight loss, I'm more active and not at home logging into my computer. I'm taking a Master's Level class called Dogmatic Theology every Tuesday night at the UNiversity of Mary here in Fargo. It's just been wonderful! Here's a question I have for anyone that can answer this.... Where did that 80 pounds go that I lost? In the air? Onto someone else? Interesting isn't it? Make it a great day!

8-30-04
Sound the trumpets!......I have lost 70 lbs. Thats SEVENTY! Wow! in 4 months! I went for a walk tonight, it was a nice night and I walked for an hour. I have so much more energy that I cleaned the whole house yesterday. Dennis saw me scrubbing the tub and he wanted to take a picture of me as I really don't do that too often. :)

8-24-04
I have now lost 65 pounds! Dennis and I went on a mini-honeymoon for our 16th Wedding Anniversary. We golfed 18 holes on Saturday and 9 holes on Sunday. I would have not been able to do that with extra weight on, I'd be pooped out after the 2nd hole. It was fun! I got an 1 1/2 hour massage on Saturday and boy was that nice. That was the fastest 1 1/2 hours I ever had. I continue to peel off the pounds, it feels so good to get the words of encouragement from people. It's fun to get a double take from some people that haven't seen me. I was asked to visit with a new gastic bypass patient last week, and it felt good to talk to him and share my story. I have about 25 outfits ready to bring into the plus size consignment store to sell. That is the way to go while all of my weight is coming off. I'm looking forward to seeing everyone at the next support group tommorrow night.

8-18-04
I have now lost 63 pounds! We have been gone on vacation, so I haven't been entering in anything in my journal lately. I didn't get the regular walking in, but I am proud to say that I went horseback riding! I wasn't over the weight limit! And we went hiking, and whitewater rafting in Jackson, Wyoming. Yellowstone was just wonderful! It was so beautiful. What amazing sights we saw. We had so much fun. It would be nice to go back there and spend more time at each place again.

8-2-04
I have now lost 58 pounds! I weigh less then what my driver's license says and that weight hasn't been the truth in 10 years! I'm going to bring in some old "big" clothes into the consignment store to sell. I'm wearing sleeveless shirts too. Strange. I'm walking for over an hour now! I walk at about 15 minutes a mile. It's been so nice out to go for a walk. I feel I've been training for our vacation. We'll be hiking and riding horses, and such in Yellowstone. Should be fun!

7-27-04
I have been so busy, that I haven't updated this site for 9 days! I have now lost 55 pounds! I have been walking and riding my bike. It's been so much fun to get out there and exercise. I also bought an exercise ball to work on my abdominal muscles. Yes, they are there those muscles, they just have been in hybernation for many years. The ball is so good, and it feels good just to stretch out my back as well. Oh, I went swimming last Friday night too. I'm wearing an older swimming suit that I couldn't get into for many years. I was wearing 28/30 clothes and now I'm in 22. I bought a few outfits at the plus size consignment store, and then I will be bringing in my big clothes to be sold. I'll keep rotating the clothes like that. It doesn't pay to go out and buy new clothes when I'm going not fit in them after a month or so. I'm looking forward to the support group on Wednesday night. It will be fun to see everyone's progress. :)

7-14-04
Yippee! I have now hit the 50 lb mark. I have now lost 50 lbs! That's a lot of weight! I still have "only" 100 to go. I went for a walk last night, and I was enjoying the walk, and not worried about how I looked. It was such a beautiful night out. There were many people out exercising, all different sizes and needs. The only thing I was worried about last night was that I was worried that my shorts may have fallen down because they were getting so big. :0) I'm feeling healthy and making sure that I drink lots of water. I ate some grapes this morning, and one got stuck. That was scary, but I coughed it right up.

7-6-04
I have lost 45 lbs. now. I need to get new clothes ASAP. I'm looking like a bag lady. I turned 37 years old on July 4th. In the recent past, I have been a bit sad on my birthdays, but this year was nice as of course because of my changing body and all of the positive outcomes from my weight loss, I've been very happy. This 37th year of my life will be the best ever! I'm so pleased with my results and I have been enjoying my walking. It's been a time for myself to do some thinking. It's been a very raining few days, so I'd better go walking at the arena or mall. Happy summer!


Date 4-28-04 5-28-04 6-28-04 Total
Bust 52.5” 48” 47” -5.5”
Waist 52” 46” 44.5” -7.5”
Hips 62” 58” 57” -5”
Arms 16.5” 15.5” 15.5” -1"
Thighs 30” 29.5” 28.5” -1.5”
Neck 16” 15.5” 14.75” -1.25”
Weight 320 295 276 -44
BMI 44.6 41.1 38.5

June 28, 2004
I've lost 2 more pounds, so that brings the total to 44 pounds now. I'm wearing a suit that I haven't been able to wear for years and years. It feels good. I had a problem yesterday though. I had my family over for a picnic and I ate a deviled egg, and it got stuck. I was uncomfortable all evening. The only other time something got stuck was when I was also eating a hard boiled egg. I think I should avoid hard boiled eggs for awhile, huh? I met a co-worker this morning who hadn't seen me and she noticed that I was so happy and smiling so extra big. So I told her my story. It's been fun to tell "the story" to those that are interested. It's been good for me to talk about things I've done/eaten in the past, as I won't and can't eat that same way again. I want to do some more writing. My sister from Canada is here and I shared that with her and she suggested sending short stories to some of my magazines. I'm going to do that, who knows what they'll say unless I try it, right? Tonight I'm going to measure myself again, it's been another month since I've measured, so I'll report on my progress.

June 24, 2004
The pounds keep coming off. I have now lost 42 pounds. I'm wearing a skirt today that hasn't seen the light of day in years! I'm going to get my hair done tonight to match my new outside. I am feeling calmer about myself, and others are noticing too. I have more energy which is nice with the kids, especially with my son who is so active. We are planning a vacation to Yellowstone in August and we will be horseback riding, hiking and rafting. Things I haven't done since high school when I was at "normal" weight. The other thing I want to do is get on some of those rides at Valley Fair that I was too big for before and wasn't allowed to ride on them before. I will ride them until I fall over.

June 16, 2004
I have now lost 37 pounds! My clothes are getting baggy, which is such a wonderful feeling! Things are going quite well at work. I have my lunch box handy and eat my snacks and lunch throughout the day. And I'm sipping on my water constantly. Walking and riding my bike are still the preferred forms of exercise. I find both of them to be relaxing for me. I've been getting some good feedback from my co-workers, family and friends, so that's nice to hear everyone's positive responses to my changing self. My knees haven't been aching, and I haven't been using my sleep apnea machine either. I'm feeling great!

June 10, 2004
I've been back to work since Monday, June 7th. I was very tired, but I'm slowly getting my strength back. I had my 6 week post op check up yesterday with Dr. Howell and my visit with Amy the dietician. They were both very please with my results. I am down 32 pounds now. I learned some new ways to get my protein in. And it was nice to know that I can still make my protein shakes with fruit on really busy days. I will have another post op appointment with both Dr. Howell and Amy the dietician in 3 more months. So that will be in September.
Ever since Lenten season when we were discussing the 7 deadly sins, I've been really focusing on the sin of gluttony. And of course it would be food for me. Since I've had this surgery, I am eating simply for filling my stomach/tank with fuel. I see cookies, pies, etc. and I don't want any of them. The taste of sugar makes me want to gag. Which I find to be very funny when I would love to eat sweets. Pizza was another food item that I just couldn't stop eating. I don't have a yearning to eat pizza anymore either. I'haven't had time to exercise in the last few days, so I've been feeling sluggish. I need to get out and walk tonight. There are such pretty trails around town.

June 3, 2004
Great News! I have now lost 30 pounds! What a wonderful feeling. I'm wearing shorts today that I haven't been able to wear in years. Sadly I have clothes in a variety of sizes like many obese people. So as I lose more weight I will "shop" in my own closet and make my outfits stretch for awhile. Then I'll sell my "too big" clothes to the local plus size consignment store and buy some cheap temporary clothes there as well.
It will be 6 weeks tommorow that I had my surgery. And this Monday, June 7th, I will be going back to work. I've been recuperating quite well, and will continue to follow my diet and exercise program. I see Dr. Howell and the dietician next Wednesday. I went for a bike ride with my son today. That was fun. I took it easy, as it was my first time on a bike this year and I was nervous with my stomach and the incision healing. But I was just fine. I'm nervous that I may get a hernia. So I need to continue to keep it easy with the stomach muscles. Dr. Howell will give me the go ahead to start sit ups in another month.

May 27, 2004
I went to my first support group for gastric bypass patients since my surgery last night. I went once before while I was just thinking about getting the surgery. I went last night with a lot of questions and I got them all answered and met so many wonderful people that were in all different stages of their own journeys of freedom from obesity. I met Susan C. who said that she has been learning about my journey through my site and she has her surgery scheduled tomorrow. Good Luck Susan!
I walked my 2 miles again today. It's getting easier doing that walk, I'm going to add another mile starting next week. I made my own protein shake this morning after talking to the dietician. I put the following in a blender: 3/4 cup carnation instant milk, 4 cups water, banana, strawberries, and splenda. It's really good and filling. I love the BOCA burgers! They are worth 2 "Meat servings" I will have that for supper. As a vegetarian, it's been hard getting my protein without having the cottage cheese coming out of my ears. So now that I can eat foods with more substance I feel I'm getting a wider variety of foods to eat. I'm going to try some other BOCA products too.
As I was walking this morning, I was thinking about gluttony again. During Lent this past season, we had been discussing the 7 Deadly Sins each week at Mass from Msgr. Gross & Fr. Anderl's homilies. Of course gluttony really struck a cord with me. Gluttony is the sin of excess of whatever. Be it food, alcohol, gambling, shopping. It's when it starts taking over your life. People turn to those vices where they should be turning to God. I can only serve one God, not food and God. Eat when I am hungry and turn to God when I'm sad, bored, tired, angry, etc. It sounds simple and now that I'm on my path of freeing myself from this monster of gluttony, it's a balance that I will have to continue to do for the rest of my life. Because unlike alcohol where I don't have to have to live, I do need food to live.
Dr. Howell gave me this wonderful tool, and now it's up to me to make it work and maintain it. It will be 5 weeks since my surgery tomorrow. My mom took my measurements 4/28/04 and now I will do it again tomorrow to see the progress. I'll keep you all posted with the results. Make it a great day!

May 25, 2004
I have lost 26 pounds now and my recovery is going well. I'm making sure that I am following the diet, drinking a lot of water. Getting enough sleep and I have been walking 2 miles/30 minutes each day. I read Carnie Wilson's book, "I'm Still Hungry" yesterday. She has this surgery 4 years ago. The book was very good. Infomative and funny. As a vegetarian, my protein is very important to my success. I had a Boca (soy) burger for supper last night. It was very good. I went out for brunch with my family after mass last Sunday. It was my first time in a restaurant since before my surgery. We went to Village Inn. The waitress was familiar with the special needs of foods and quantities that I would need as she has some "regulars" that come in with strange requests. I did fine. I ordered 1/2 cottage cheese, 1 slice of peanut butter toast and a side salad with fat free ranch dressing. I learned that I should have asked to have my food delivered earlier than the rest of the my familiy's as I was still eating long after they were done with their meals. It's funny how I've been "removed" from the food scene how the world is different to me. So many choices were on the menu. There are probably over 100 restaurants to choose from in the Fargo area. And then there are all the commercials that are on T.V. for food. I haven't had any sugar or carbonated pop since before my surgery either. My kids tell me that I'm more "mellow" now. Isn't it scary what sugar can do to a person's body? Now if I eat it, I would "dump" it right out again on the other end, if you know what I mean. My clothes are getting much looser now. I do have many sizes so I can "limp" along with what I have right now. Then I'm going to sell my clothes to the local plus size consignment store and just keep buying and selling to the next size until I get to my goal. That will probably take about a year to obtain my goal. But it will be very worth it. I'm regaining my life and my health!

May 17, 2004
Today I walked for 30 minutes around the neighborhood. It was nice. I was very tired and sore, but well worth it. I'll walk 30 minutes every day this week. Today marks the rest of my life with eating. I am now able to eat raw fruits and vegetables. I had a salad for lunch. Well, it was 1/2 cup lettuce and 1 TB. fat free thousand island dressing. Along with cottage cheese and peaches. It's interesting that I get so full on so little.

May 14, 2004
It's been 3 weeks today since my surgery. I feel stronger and am walking more around the block but still doing it slowing. I've been given the green light to start Cardio activitiy now. So I will speed up the walking and explore the walking paths and crank up my CD Walkman. My stomach is healing good. Now I have a straight pink line where the incision was and then a bunch of scabs forming where the staples were in my skin. I've been on mechanical soft foods for the past 2 weeks, and I will start a "regular" diet on Monday. Which is still 600 calories but I can add raw fruits and vegetables. Sometimes when I eat I forget to chew or I get nervous and then I get afraid when I choked when eating a hard boiled egg. The dietician said to create a calm mood and atmosphere. And that it's ok to read something calming while I'm eating. So that has been helping. I am also to get 3/4 cup Carnation Instant Milk incorporated into my foods to get some added protein. Lately that has been hard to do. Today Mom was over and we tried a new way to get that powdered milk. We added some sugar free jello and ice cubes to the powder and water and it was tolerable. I'm looking forward to eating salads next week. My usual day of eating consisted of:

Breakfast - 1 piece of toast
1 TB Peanut Butter
Ice Water

Lunch - 1/4 c. cottage cheese
1/4 c. peaches
1 Yoplait Yogert
Sugar Free Kool-Aid

Supper- 1 c. Mashed Potates
1/2 Green Beans
1/4 c, cottage cheese
1/4 c. peaches
Ice Water

Snack - Sugar Free Hot Cocoa with Milk
Sugar Free Jello
1 oz. Cheese

Besides that I take my B12, Multi Vitamin, Iron (2x week), and
an anti-ulcer med that I need to take for a month after the surgery. I feel really full since my stomach is the size of my thumb right now. I am very excited to look into the mirror and see more of my face and less of my fat on my body.

May 6, 2004
I got my staples removed yesterday. I earlier reported I had 42 staples, but I found out I actually had 45 staples! The removal didn't hurt too much, it felt like tweezing my eyebrows and pulling a real "wirey" hair each time a staple was removed. I've been walking each day, but I've been getting tired out as well. This morning I was sick with flu like symptoms, after I went to the bathroom and threw up I was fine. I've also been a bit sad. Dr. Howell says that it's natural to go through these roller coaster emotions. I'm excited about the new me, but then, moarning the old life style of pizza and ice cream. But then I know what all of that food tastes like, and I know that it's not good for me. I need to think of my health for me and for my family. I received communion today from our parish nurse, Linda. I felt renewed and excited to go to mass this Sunday for Mother's Day. Thank God for this surgery! Now I've had it done, now, it's up to me to make it work... it's only a tool.

May 2, 2004
I'm getting stronger everyday. I was expecting to be layed up in bed for weeks. I've been moving around, slowly but able to walk more and more each day. My stomach itches where I have staples. It will be nice to get those staples removed this Wednesday. Alexander stayed over night here at Mom and Dad's. It was nice to be the Mom again. I'm thinking about going home soon. Tomorrow I start my next phase of foods, so I will get a grocery list ready. I miss going to mass. I will plan on going next Sunday. I've been keeping up with my prayers and readings. I've been reading a few books about the Passion, then I will start a bible study on the book of Matthew. I thank everyone for their prayers. I feel surrounding with love. I have 5 weeks now until I go back to work. I will get myself strong and healthy and in a good routine so I'm ready to get back to work on June 7th.

April 30, 2004
It's been 1 week since my surgery. I weighed myself and I've lost 10 pounds already. The last few nights I've been sleeping better. I've been walking a bit further and longer each day. I'm still staying at my parents' house and they are helping me with my meals and rest and exercise. My stomach isn't as bloated. I took a picture of my stomach with the staples and all for the memory book or something, I just felt compelled to get a picture of it. I also had my measurements taken. I'll rake them again in a month. Next Wednesday I get my staples taken out. Next Monday is when I start my next phase of foods to eat. It's been taking me about an hour to eat my meals now, and that's with a liquid diet. I wonder how long it will take to eat with more solids when I know I need to chew and chew and chew until the food is mushy. I've been concentrating on eating when I'm calm and not distracted. Dennis and I need to talk about how grocery shopping will be and the things that I will be needing to buy. This week has been an emotional roller coaster for me. I was told that every emotion that I have comes out and sure enough, I am laughing, crying, scared, nervous, you name it. I've been reading a lot, the heating pad on my tummy and ibruprofen work for the pain. I'll be taking a pill for a few months to prevent ulcers. The other pain pill - forgot the name - made me so hyper! I called the nurse at Dr. Howell's office, Bobbi, and she said to just try some ibuprofen instead. I'm getting homesick. Dennis and the kids came over tonight for a short visit. I wonder when it will be the best to go back home. Mom said that it's up to me. It will be nice to be in my own home, but I need to have the kids listen and Dennis and I not to be fighting. I don't want any added stress.

April 27, 2004
Well, I'm home with Mom and Dad recuperating. I had a full day of pre op tests on Thursday the 22nd. Then, on Friday, April 23rd. I reported into the hospital at 5:15 a.m. Mom stayed over night to help get the kids off to school. I got myself prepared and waiting in the holding area until the surgery, and Dad had three of his buddies from his church prayer group came in and prayed over me. Surgery started at 7:30 a.m. and it took about 2 hours. Dennis, Mom and Dad were waiting for me once I got out and was wheeled to my room 632 on 6 Main at MeritCare Hospital. That first day was pretty bad. I used the morphine pump alot which made me really tired and drunk like. But it kept me going to start healing. Saturday was tough too, I was very irritable and barking at my family. Sorry. I was unable to void on my own, which wasn't suprising. I've had two bladder repairs and so they catherized me for the next 24 hours. I knew that walking was the best thing, and since laying in bed was uncomfortable, I walked those halls and made friends with the nursing staff and other patients and family who were walking the halls. Sunday, April 25th was better, I had my catheter removed,stopped taking the morphine and was on some different pain medicine. I was able to take a shower that day, so I felt a bit refreshed. On Monday was my first day of having food since Thurday night. So that was 3 days without food. So the food was strange. I took it slow while I ate the cream of wheat, yogert, orange juice and milk. I then had vanilla pudding for a mid morning snack. For lunch, I had broth, jello, and milk. For supper, I had broth, jello and milk again. For this first week I am to have 750 calories of a liquid diet. Then for weeks 2-3, I advance to a "mechanical soft" texture of 600 calories a day. Then if that goes well, I will then advance to 600 calories of regular food. Dr. Howell said that I was progressing nicely so he said that I could go home yesterday, Monday April 26 after supper if I did well with the reintroduction of food. I did, so it was nice to have Dennis and the kids pick me up and get me settled in at Mom and Dad's house in West Fargo. Last night was much better sleeping in my old bed versus the hospital bed. The bedroom is downstairs, so mom set up the baby monitor so she could hear me. For cute! It works!

I wanted to thank all of you who stopped to visit me - Dennis, Kathry, Alexander, Mom, Dad, my in-laws, Mark & Ellen, neighbors Lori & Seth, friends, Amy, Mary, Kathleen, Ruth, Joan, and Debbie Osborne who's daughter was in the hospital down the hall from me. Flowers from Dennis and the kids, Everyone at Innovis, Jan, DOVS, Tina & Jeff, Jodi & Tim, and The Hermans. I would also like to thank those who sent emails to the hospital: Aunts, Marilyn, Mary, cousins Rosie and MaryLou.

I feel tired, sore, but most of all loved. I appreciate all of your prayers. I thank my friends at Sts. Anne & Joachim Catholic church for their prayers and for Msgr. Gross for annointing me.

My sister Jodi gave me a CD of a Canadian Christian Artist and on of her songs is "Butterfly Girl". I have been playing it and feel that it's becoming my anthem. I am this girl in a cocoon, and I've been set free with this surgery and will be sprouting my new wings and flying high with a new take on life.

I will continue to keep journeling my progress more once I'm feeling better. Love you all - Jennifer.

April 20, 2004
It's now 3 days until my surgery. I'm getting very excited! I appreciate all of the emails, letters, cards, phone calls, and prayers. Knowing that I am surrounded with love and support from people all over is very assuring. I go into MeritCare Friday April 23rd. I'm told that I will be in the hospital about 5 days. I'm going to stay at my parents for part of my leave for some quiet rest and recuperation. Praise God for this surgery!

Feb. 19, 2004
It's been a year since I decided to pursue having the gastric bypass surgery. I have met with a dietician, had the psych eval, psych test, history of failed diets, recommendations from other docs,diagnosed with sleep apnea, and attended a support group. This web site, obesity help.com helped me tremendously to answer my questions, meet others going through the same process and learn from others who have experienced the procedure already. I am now approved, met with Dr. Howell at MeritCare in Fargo and have my surgery scheduled for April 23rd. I am getting myself prepared at work and I have an excellent family support system that will help me with my recovery. I thank God for this procedure, and I look forward to better health and for my outside to match how good my inside is. Pray for me.

The following entries I had been making on my computer getting ready for the surgery. I thought it would be interesting to read this too:

Surgery scheduled 4-23-04

12-15-03
Received letter in the mail that they have my appointment for me scheduled for Feb. 19th. It will be a whole day long appointment.

12-10-03
Mailed off letter and copy of weight watchers card to Dr. Howell to Cindy's attention.


I called Cindy to tell her that I joined Weight Watchers and that I am to mail her a copy of the weight watchers weight loss book of a straight weight loss of 3 months and mail to the following address: once she receives this then she will mail me a card for an appointment. Which will probably be in January. I also told her that I have been diagnosed for sleep apnea as well which is another criteria for it as well.

Dr. Howell
PO Box MC
Fargo, ND
58122

8-19-03
I joined Weight Watchers

8-18-03
I cld Danielle and she said that Cindy was to call me. I called Cindy, Dr. Howell's asst. and she said that my EDI does not qualify for the required 3 months attempt in the last 5 years weight loss. She said since insurace doesn't usually cover going to a dietician, that I should go to Weight Watchers and do it for 3 months. When I am in the 2nd month, I am to call Cindy back to tell her this and then she will schedule me an office visit with Dr. Howell. Her number is 234-2251.


8-8-03
I cld and asked for Danielle, and the said that she was off today, and the other gal didn't know anything about what she was working on with Cindy. I called Cindy and she was off today too, so I will try them when I get back from vacation.

8-4-03
I cld EDI spoke with Danielle, and she said that she called Cindy at Dr. Howell's office, and she is sick today, so Danielle will call Cindy tomorrow. I will wait to here from Danielle. She is thinking that the BED (Binge Eating Disorders) group will not qualify. I pray that it will.


I returned Cindy's call and she needs documentation of working at least 3 months with a dr.letter proving that I have tried to lose weight for at least 3 months in the last 5 years. I will call eating disorders clinic and talk to them.


I emailed Cindy at Dr. Howell's to see if she got my paperwork 7-21-03 (I'm thinking she is on vacation)

7-10-03
I met with Dr. Kadlec and she approved me, so I will hear from Cindy in Dr. Howell's office in 2 weeks or less.

This appt was changed to 7-10 at 4 p.m. with Dr. Kadlec.

I meet with Dr. Lahaisse on 7-9-03 at 4 p.m. for a psych evaluation

I go to take the MMPI 6-16-03 9 a.m. at EDI

6-9-03
I mailed the forms today 6-9-03 a.m. from home

5-15-03
They will be mailing me out a 30 page evalutation packet to fill out. Then I will mail it back, and if they hadn't called me back in a few days, I am to call them and ask for Danielle at 234-4111. I am to come in and take the MMPI. (They need one that is within the last year). Then they will make an appt with Dr. Gunnerson for the psych eval. Once that is all done, then Dr. Howell's office will call me for the appt.


Photos

320 1 Week before surgery - April 2004

170 Left to Right - Dec. 04 = 190 lbs, May 05 = 180 lbs, May 06 = 170 lbs

Hospital Reviews

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