Rhie P.

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Really?!?!  I give up!!  My fat refuses to leave my body!!  I give up!!  Talk about buyers remorse....what a lot of pain to go through to loose......30lbs.  I'm tired of being told the weight will come off....really?!  When is it going to come off?  1.5 pounds a week....I'm losing at the same rate I lost on my own BEFORE surgery the last time I got really serious about dropping weight.  I"m so aggrivated....this whole process is frustrating.

I don't want to make my next appointment with my surgeon's office becasue the last time I weighed in....which was 3 wks post op, I was 205.....so 9 pounds.....7 weeks later.....he was "hoping" for 40.....

I'm in a size 16....at least that is what the tag in these pants say.....though...they are also 5 years old....so are they really a 16, or are they just stretched out because I've had them for so long?!?  I refuse to buy any new clothes....though even though I'm down 30lbs, I don't need too.....all of my "fat" clothes...even though I'm still fat....still fit me - funny how that works....I don't even need a belt!!  Told myself I would buy a new outfit when I reached 180.....so....14lbs to go.....14 weeks to go......blah......

Pity Party over.

Still on my blood thinners.  Will get an u/s next month on my arm and if my blood clots are gone then I'm done with the coumidin...if not...then they will keep me on them another 6 weeks and then check again...wash rince repeat...wash rince repeat.

I feel like an old man sitting in my rocker on the bayou watching the lightening bugs flutter about....or like I'm on the pirates ride at Disneyland...just slowly floationg along in my boat........

My weight is taking it's very very VERY sweet time coming off.  I'm following the rules, drinking my water, getting in all my protein and I've even started to exercise *gasp*.

Went to the nutritionist yesterday so she review my food logs and she told me what I already knew she was going to tell me.  I'm a light weight and my weight will come off slower and less dramatically then say someoen that started at 300+lbs.  I have to remind myself every day that I did not gain all this weight in 8 weeks and I should expect to loose it all in 8 week (enter stage left the little girl from Willy Wonka and Chocolate Factory "but daddy...I WANT it NOOOOOOW".  I need to keep my calories between 700-1100 (I'm hoovering around 700 right now)....somedays food is just a struggle....like eating this oatmeal right now....my stomach is saying to feed me....but my mouth and brain are saying "Oatmeal...AGAIN - YUCK"!

I've put the scale away.  I've lost 3lbs in 5 weeks....I was becoming obsessive watching the numbers bounce up and down...no more...it will come out once a week.  If I can give up soda, and bread and sugar...by golly I can give up the scale for 6 days a week.

I'm nervous about going back in to see my surgeon though.  He  made a comment about me loosing another 40lbs by the next time he sees me (in March)....um...that leaves me 4 weeks to drop 32lbs.....um...not going to happen...maybe if I go back and re-visit my eating habbits on weeks 1 & 2 post op (less then 300 calories a day on some days).

My clothes are starting to fit a lot better.  I haven't dropped a clothing size yet (even though I'm down 28lbs)...my too tight clothes are just fitting the way they were supposed to fit - not tight=)  When I see myself naked though...I don't see any changes....maybe if I get a tan or something.....

I'm frustrated at the very slow rate I seem to be losing!!  I'm not sure if I'm not eating enough calories or what....but geez it's frustrating!!

Typical day for me

wake up - Body Fortress Protein shake mixed ith with 25oz water - 26g protein (140 Calories total)
2 Diet Hot Coco mixes mixed in with my shake , 4g protein (50 calories total)
Sugar Free oatmeal mixed with 4oz water, 4g protein (120 Calories)

Snack - Crystal light 24oz water, 4oz sugar free apple sause (50 calories) - this is to help w/ constipation

Lunch - atkins protein bar 19g protein (240 calories)

Dinner - 24 oz water w/ crytal light, 2 chicken strips, 10 green beans (@20g of protein).....@200 calories

I need to lose an average of 1.5lbs a week to reach my goal in a year....doesn't seem that daunting...yet at this rate...it is!!

As I was doing a search on OH about others with similar plugged up status....oh the horror of what I was reading!!  Please don't ever make it so I have to lie down and dig out my own......

I am constipated.  I've never been constipated before.  This is NOT fun!!  And the flared up hemroids (thanks to having 3 babies....those unfortunely are nothing new to me).  I'm still not back on track to being regular.....hoping this mirade of pills that I'm taking helps!!  I'm starting talking two stool softeners at night before bed....I try to take fibercon (if I have room left over in my pouch) after dinner....and last but not least....I'm adding real food (minus hight is sugar) back into my diet.

The first 3 weeks after surgery.....it was either water or protein....that was it in my diet......NOT ANY MORE!!!  Don't get me wrong...I'm still getting all my protien (my body fortress shakes have 26 g per scoop twice a day...and I'm at 52 grams....the other 10....peice of cake with real food through out the day).  I hope having normal food will help my plumbing out....because this......I can't handle this!!

I can handle not going every day.....or even going every 2-3 days....but the once a week......not working.....not working at all......to be continued.....

As I was given the thumbs up to eat real food again.  I was reminded though protein, then green veggies and then starches...and CHEW.CHEW,CHEW!!!  I've noticed my eyes are still a lot bigger then my stomach.  Last night while making my dinner plate I was putting food on there like I would have pre-surgery.....how do I fix this?!  I eat on the same plates my 2 year old eats off of.

I had salad (if that is what you really want to call it) for the first time this weekend.  I was in heaven!!  Two, maybe three peices of romain, a chopped up boiled egg, some diced red onion and a pinch of ranch dressing...makes my mouth water right now just thinking about it!!  I know the ranch wasn't the healthiest choice....but boy was it good.

No dumping for me (yet) - though I haven't really tested the waters.  My atkins protein bars have 3g of sugar alcohol in them.....but they don't do anything for me.  I have had grapes....nothing either.....

I think I might try something extra sweet tonight just so I will dump.....this constipation is no joke (no pun intended)!!

 I have a confirmed (by ultrasound) blood clot in my right ARM (of all places...I.V was in my left mon-wed night and then moved wed night to thurs mornng to my right).

My elbow was hurting really bad while I was in the hospital and when I mentioned it to my nurse she said they had me laying on my right side during surgergy and it was just sore (sounded good to me).

My elbow became very hot and the spot about 4 inches looked like it was really sunburned and it was very tender to the touch.  Monday night I asked my hubby for an icepack and when he saw the spot he called a "buddy" who told him eiter blood clot or cellulitis.

Tuesday I called my doctor (the on call Dr. in the E.R called me back....this is a MTF)  and he said to try "Celebrex" and if that doesn't help in a few days to come in and have it checked - that didn't fly with the hubby so we went to the E.R.

Same Dr. was in there and didn't apprear to be happy to see me....but sent me for an u/s anyway (think it was so he could say told you so)......as soon as I was back though they immediatly gave me a lovenox shot (have them 2x daily for the next 30 days + a pill 1x daily). 

Tomorrow I meet with the "clinc" that will run all the tests to find out "why", then Internal Medicine on the 28th to make sure my drug regimine is working, and then a follow up for the RNY with my sugeon on the 4th...

I'm hoping this is an isolated incident -and not a precursor to what is ahead.  I've had 3 c/s's with no issues!!

Surgery day.....what I wish someone would have told me....
1) When you wake up, it's going to feel like you have an elephant sitting on your chest.
2) It's going to feel like you were hit by a bus, over and over and over again!!
3) Breathing hurts becasue your diaphram bumps your stomach when you inhale
4) Don't drink caffeine becasue the withdrawl headache in the hospital - miseable.
5) At day 4-5 the pain goes away!!!
6) Sleeping in a recliner is much more comfortable then laying flat on your back.
7)Hospital Chicken Broth is slimey and gross!!

Went in to the hospital at 225.....9 days out 213

Day 1 - I had my first appointment to day in the General Surgery Clinic at the MTF (I have Tricare Prime)  I think it went fairly well considering.  My surgeon was very nice and was very willing to help me (though he did tell me I didn't look "fat" to him) - Thanks.

They put in a referral for me to see the nutritionist, I will have a pschy evaluation and have to go to the gym and work with a trainer (this is NOT going to be fun)!!  The bariatric surgeon is supposed to arrive on post with in the next month or so, so they said to get the train rolling so when he does get here and the clinic is open, I will already have my ducks in a row and be ready to go.

He told me more then likely it won't be until close to the end of summer - works for me.  I'm going to Japan for 3 weeks and I'm taking two online classes right now for school....end of summer will be here before I know it!!

SW: 225
GW: 125-140