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Time for making Excuses is OVER...waaaay over
May 09, 2011
I am literally sitting here in tears; scared to death that I have lost all focus and feeling that I'm becoming one of those
RNY failure statistics. I CANNOT get bqack on track...I haven't logged on dailyplate for MONTHS and I just HATE what has transpired. I have said it over and over and over...I'm tired of sounding like a broken record...but I am so upset with myself that I have lost my way and can't find my way back. I see it daily in my clothes. I was consistently wearing size 10 jeans for longest time...now I'm back up to 14s. I just want to cry(and am). I know what I have to do...so why am I fighting it and why can't I just get back on that road to success??? I am a strong woman and up to a few months ago I had been very proud of my progress. Over past 3months or so...I have lost my way and not just a detour...I'm TOTALLY undeniably LOST in the middle of nowhere...in BUMFUCK Egypt if you would. I TOTALLY HATE how my clothes are looking...why is it so hard for me to get it back together????
This week is the big Vegas Meet & Greet...while I can't wait to meet everyone...I'm upset that I won't look my best. Maybe I needed to hit rock bottom like this to get the drive and desire to DO IT back. Maybe I'll learn a thing or two from meeting some great OH sistas next weekend.
What I do know is...I've got to use my resources...pulling Beck out now to read it and absorb it over and over and over......
I know I can count on my friends/sistas here to give me the love; encouragement and support that I am desperately in need of.
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RNY failure statistics. I CANNOT get bqack on track...I haven't logged on dailyplate for MONTHS and I just HATE what has transpired. I have said it over and over and over...I'm tired of sounding like a broken record...but I am so upset with myself that I have lost my way and can't find my way back. I see it daily in my clothes. I was consistently wearing size 10 jeans for longest time...now I'm back up to 14s. I just want to cry(and am). I know what I have to do...so why am I fighting it and why can't I just get back on that road to success??? I am a strong woman and up to a few months ago I had been very proud of my progress. Over past 3months or so...I have lost my way and not just a detour...I'm TOTALLY undeniably LOST in the middle of nowhere...in BUMFUCK Egypt if you would. I TOTALLY HATE how my clothes are looking...why is it so hard for me to get it back together????
This week is the big Vegas Meet & Greet...while I can't wait to meet everyone...I'm upset that I won't look my best. Maybe I needed to hit rock bottom like this to get the drive and desire to DO IT back. Maybe I'll learn a thing or two from meeting some great OH sistas next weekend.
What I do know is...I've got to use my resources...pulling Beck out now to read it and absorb it over and over and over......
I know I can count on my friends/sistas here to give me the love; encouragement and support that I am desperately in need of.
And CLICK saves my butt...once AGAIN!!!!!!!
Mar 16, 2011
OK...I am now officially waving the white flag. I surrender!!!!! It's another 10 days until payday and I seriously have $2.09 in the bank :( What's worse is that after paying bills last week there was no cash for groceries. (Since when have groceries become a luxury rather than a necessity?). And happy that I live 1.2 miles from work and have 1/2 tank of gas in the Eclipse...premium has gone over $4.00/gallon in past couple of days
BUT...Thank God there are 2 1/2 canisters of CLICK in my pantry...so guess what I'll be literally living on for the next 10 days...TY CLICK...you have saved me again...in more ways than one!!!! Sustenance...protein(good protein) and maybe the kick start I need to drop a few unwanted pounds(see...looking at the positives in this crappy situation).
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BUT...Thank God there are 2 1/2 canisters of CLICK in my pantry...so guess what I'll be literally living on for the next 10 days...TY CLICK...you have saved me again...in more ways than one!!!! Sustenance...protein(good protein) and maybe the kick start I need to drop a few unwanted pounds(see...looking at the positives in this crappy situation).
Do I fight harder or wave the white flag????
Feb 12, 2011
I haven't lost any weight in close to 1 year(matter of fact gained maybe 10-12 lbs). OK...I'm no longer the ideal patient...I am a rebel some days...and I do pay for it by dumping and feeling like crap! So do I accept that I'm totally done losing(never made it to goal...still about 25 lbs more to go) or do I just accept this is as good as it gets??????
I never have thought of myself as a quitter...but I think this trying to lose the last of the weight is a LOT bigger and stronger than me. That doesn't mean I'm giving up willingly but there always seems to be temptations out there. The temptations are so much larger and stronger than the healthy;better choices.
Yep...I do give in...and I love it for about 30 seconds and really was it worth it for 30 seconds of gratification??? HELL NO!!!!! Then why does my brain continue to taunt me and I make those wrong; crappy choices.
I've said it before and I'll repeat it again. I want that focus and felling back when I was a RNY newbie. Why do we have to get comfortable and mess with success???? Just saying...we ALL have addictive personalities...if we didn't we wouldn't have needed WLS to begin with.
I think I need to just take a deep breath; and live this RNY day to day...maybe even hour to hour is more realistic. I don't need to make the daily 3pm trip to the vending machine for pretzels every day...a CLICK shake or string cheese and bottle of flavored water will hit the spot as well. I need to be mentally stronger and I will win the war with my scale...eventually.
Losing was easy...maintenance is a BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
1 comment
I never have thought of myself as a quitter...but I think this trying to lose the last of the weight is a LOT bigger and stronger than me. That doesn't mean I'm giving up willingly but there always seems to be temptations out there. The temptations are so much larger and stronger than the healthy;better choices.
Yep...I do give in...and I love it for about 30 seconds and really was it worth it for 30 seconds of gratification??? HELL NO!!!!! Then why does my brain continue to taunt me and I make those wrong; crappy choices.
I've said it before and I'll repeat it again. I want that focus and felling back when I was a RNY newbie. Why do we have to get comfortable and mess with success???? Just saying...we ALL have addictive personalities...if we didn't we wouldn't have needed WLS to begin with.
I think I need to just take a deep breath; and live this RNY day to day...maybe even hour to hour is more realistic. I don't need to make the daily 3pm trip to the vending machine for pretzels every day...a CLICK shake or string cheese and bottle of flavored water will hit the spot as well. I need to be mentally stronger and I will win the war with my scale...eventually.
Losing was easy...maintenance is a BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The Ongoing Journey (Never Ending)
Jan 27, 2011
While nearly everyone who has WLS achieves some measure of
success, some people do much better than others -- and not just
in the measure of their weight.
Winning at WLS is not a size, it's a whole state of being.
Winning at WLS means achieving a weight that creates the
opportunity for you to live a full, healthy, and satisfying life
-- and then getting out there and living it.
So what do WLS winners do?
Winners Manage Their Focus
WLS winners tend to have a structure to their lives so that they
almost always know what they are really supposed to be doing.
They don't leave things to chance. They stay focused on their
goal to be healthy and let that shape their lives.
They learn time management and schedule in their WLS needs. They
focus on what is important (buying vitamins if they have run out)
rather than on what the world thinks is important (baking cup
cakes for a party).
Winners Design a Plan that Fits Their Life
Winners learn how to shape a life that works for them. They
figure out where they are likely to struggle and build in
strategies to minimize their troubles in those areas.
They use timers, always keep protein supplements in their car,
keep food out of sight so they don't snack, or keep a case of
water in their trunk -- whatever will work for them.
Winners Use Resources to Help Them
Winners are information seekers. They don't assume that what
they were taught about WLS at one point in time is sufficient
information. They continue to learn, seek help, and find tools
that will keep them on track.
They understand that they may need help to go from being at
goal weight to being happy and comfortable with their new life.
Are You Reluctant to Win?
Some people are very uncomfortable with winning. So, they resist
it. They struggle with the last 20 pounds to avoid being at goal.
Of course, they don't necessarily know they're doing this.
Not doing your best is a form of self defense. If you don't try
hard, you protect your ego from the experience of trying hard
and failing -- a scary proposition.
Value the Pain of Losing
Anyone who struggles with weight will fail from time to time. But
that doesn't mean you will fail in the long run. By trying your
best, even if you experience some failure from time to time, you
will ultimately have a more meaningful life.
By getting comfortable with failing, and then trying again, you
will eventually win.
Accept that Winning Can Be Confusing and Uncomfortable
Winning brings on a whole new set of uncomfortable feelings.
Maybe you don't want to cause others to feel like losers as
they compare themselves to you. Maybe you don't like the
attention winning brings.
Whatever the discomfort, win anyway. You will learn to tolerate
success. Just give it time.
0 comments
success, some people do much better than others -- and not just
in the measure of their weight.
Winning at WLS is not a size, it's a whole state of being.
Winning at WLS means achieving a weight that creates the
opportunity for you to live a full, healthy, and satisfying life
-- and then getting out there and living it.
So what do WLS winners do?
Winners Manage Their Focus
WLS winners tend to have a structure to their lives so that they
almost always know what they are really supposed to be doing.
They don't leave things to chance. They stay focused on their
goal to be healthy and let that shape their lives.
They learn time management and schedule in their WLS needs. They
focus on what is important (buying vitamins if they have run out)
rather than on what the world thinks is important (baking cup
cakes for a party).
Winners Design a Plan that Fits Their Life
Winners learn how to shape a life that works for them. They
figure out where they are likely to struggle and build in
strategies to minimize their troubles in those areas.
They use timers, always keep protein supplements in their car,
keep food out of sight so they don't snack, or keep a case of
water in their trunk -- whatever will work for them.
Winners Use Resources to Help Them
Winners are information seekers. They don't assume that what
they were taught about WLS at one point in time is sufficient
information. They continue to learn, seek help, and find tools
that will keep them on track.
They understand that they may need help to go from being at
goal weight to being happy and comfortable with their new life.
Are You Reluctant to Win?
Some people are very uncomfortable with winning. So, they resist
it. They struggle with the last 20 pounds to avoid being at goal.
Of course, they don't necessarily know they're doing this.
Not doing your best is a form of self defense. If you don't try
hard, you protect your ego from the experience of trying hard
and failing -- a scary proposition.
Value the Pain of Losing
Anyone who struggles with weight will fail from time to time. But
that doesn't mean you will fail in the long run. By trying your
best, even if you experience some failure from time to time, you
will ultimately have a more meaningful life.
By getting comfortable with failing, and then trying again, you
will eventually win.
Accept that Winning Can Be Confusing and Uncomfortable
Winning brings on a whole new set of uncomfortable feelings.
Maybe you don't want to cause others to feel like losers as
they compare themselves to you. Maybe you don't like the
attention winning brings.
Whatever the discomfort, win anyway. You will learn to tolerate
success. Just give it time.
Happy 2011!!!
Jan 14, 2011
Yep. It's almost the middle of January and this is my first post of 2011.
My weight has definitely plateaued...OH HELL NO!!!!! Because in my mind...I still have at least 30 pounds more to goal.
I will NEVER get down to what I had said was my goal weight...but really what is that except a #
The important thing is ...I'm almost 52 years old...I feel great and IMO...look more fabulous than I have in years. OMG...do I sound waaaaay conceited???
I still NEVER eat 100% of what's on my plate. That's because my girlz Peaches & Brooklyn are the CUTEST hard core beggars...LOL...and THAT is why Brooklyn has gained 1.5 lbs since we adopted her in October. I'm putting Brook on calorie restriction with mommy.
I'm soooooo excited. I bought my ticket this week for the WLS Meet & Greet being held right here in Vegas May 13-15, 2011.
YAY...can't wait to meet lots of OH internet friends IRL. Excited to meet new Vegas WLS peeps.
OK...new motivation to drop a few of those extra 30 lbs.
And the event will be yet one more excuse for...SHOPPING!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!! Yes I'll need something dressy(well dressy for me is different than the conventional terms). Definitely making an appearance during the event will be my CLICK bling black tee shirt(LOOOOOOVE IT!!!!!); my Bariatric Bad Girls Club jersey and bracelet.
And the event = lots of vendors = FREEBIES!!!!!!!! I HEART FREEBIES!!!!!!!!!!!
Anyone planning on attending the Vegas event...message me and we'll make it our business to get together at some point during the 3 days.
0 comments
My weight has definitely plateaued...OH HELL NO!!!!! Because in my mind...I still have at least 30 pounds more to goal.
I will NEVER get down to what I had said was my goal weight...but really what is that except a #
The important thing is ...I'm almost 52 years old...I feel great and IMO...look more fabulous than I have in years. OMG...do I sound waaaaay conceited???
I still NEVER eat 100% of what's on my plate. That's because my girlz Peaches & Brooklyn are the CUTEST hard core beggars...LOL...and THAT is why Brooklyn has gained 1.5 lbs since we adopted her in October. I'm putting Brook on calorie restriction with mommy.
I'm soooooo excited. I bought my ticket this week for the WLS Meet & Greet being held right here in Vegas May 13-15, 2011.
YAY...can't wait to meet lots of OH internet friends IRL. Excited to meet new Vegas WLS peeps.
OK...new motivation to drop a few of those extra 30 lbs.
And the event will be yet one more excuse for...SHOPPING!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!! Yes I'll need something dressy(well dressy for me is different than the conventional terms). Definitely making an appearance during the event will be my CLICK bling black tee shirt(LOOOOOOVE IT!!!!!); my Bariatric Bad Girls Club jersey and bracelet.
And the event = lots of vendors = FREEBIES!!!!!!!! I HEART FREEBIES!!!!!!!!!!!
Anyone planning on attending the Vegas event...message me and we'll make it our business to get together at some point during the 3 days.
3 years ago...tomorrow...Happy BDay, Ronnie!!!
Dec 04, 2010
Totally couldn't let this special day go by without mention(but working tomorrow...so) Happy 3rd Surgiversary to me and Ronnie(the finicky pouch). Still not at goal but the 160 lbs gone are a lot to celebrate!!!
This past year has been a very trying one for me. Not enough work outs and pushing and testing Ronnie more frequently and "testing" foods I have no business even considering. Sometimes I get away with it BUT then there are those times(still quite a bit)that Ronnie makes it obvious that he is STILL the BOSS of me!
I still take about 30 seconds each day(every day) to Thank Cigna and Dr. Teng for giving me this second chance and for in a sense "believing in me."
I've rediscovered jeans(don't make cute ones in size 26) and HEELS....love heels and esecially love ankle boots with the highest heels.
So I lived through the terrible twos with Ronnie. That was a feat...believe me there were days Ronniw was terrible x 1,000.
What better way to end this Happy Bday post...gonna post 2 of my fave pics that remind me what I have accomplished in 3 short years. And thank you to ALL of the awesome OH friends I have for your continuous support and encouragement.
OK...pics as promised...
How FREAKIN PRICELESS is that second pic???? And yes...I do wear thongs(sometimes) because...
I CAN!!!!!!!!!
0 comments
This past year has been a very trying one for me. Not enough work outs and pushing and testing Ronnie more frequently and "testing" foods I have no business even considering. Sometimes I get away with it BUT then there are those times(still quite a bit)that Ronnie makes it obvious that he is STILL the BOSS of me!
I still take about 30 seconds each day(every day) to Thank Cigna and Dr. Teng for giving me this second chance and for in a sense "believing in me."
I've rediscovered jeans(don't make cute ones in size 26) and HEELS....love heels and esecially love ankle boots with the highest heels.
So I lived through the terrible twos with Ronnie. That was a feat...believe me there were days Ronniw was terrible x 1,000.
What better way to end this Happy Bday post...gonna post 2 of my fave pics that remind me what I have accomplished in 3 short years. And thank you to ALL of the awesome OH friends I have for your continuous support and encouragement.
OK...pics as promised...
How FREAKIN PRICELESS is that second pic???? And yes...I do wear thongs(sometimes) because...
I CAN!!!!!!!!!
FOCUS and don't EVER give in to BAD habits!!!!
Nov 16, 2010
OK next month it'll be 3 years since my second chance at life. I feel that this lifestyle change has gotten waaaay hard especially the past 6 months. I wish that the that new pouch feeling would come back in full force...NOW...when I need it badly...I need to be reminded of why I chose this surgery and what I needed/wanted to accomplish. I find old bad habits resurfacing. Sometimes my pouch Ronnie rebels but frequently these days...I can push eating; eat total crap and get over on Ronnie.
I need to rediscover my protein shakes. At this minute there are 4 cannisters of CLICK in the pantry...mostly taking up space. Today is a new beginning...today is the day I rededicate myself to my WLS journey.
on a good note... i have been walking more; exercising a bit more...yes i take Brooklyn to the dog park at least 2x/week. I adore my fur baby...how did I ever live without her?
So the HECK with a New Years resolution...I'm resolving right now in Nov.(pre-holiday)to make the effort and consciously choose wisely...I want my size 10 jeans to fit comfortably again...HELL with size 10...I still would love to wear a size 8.
DON'T STOP BELIEVING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
0 comments
I need to rediscover my protein shakes. At this minute there are 4 cannisters of CLICK in the pantry...mostly taking up space. Today is a new beginning...today is the day I rededicate myself to my WLS journey.
on a good note... i have been walking more; exercising a bit more...yes i take Brooklyn to the dog park at least 2x/week. I adore my fur baby...how did I ever live without her?
So the HECK with a New Years resolution...I'm resolving right now in Nov.(pre-holiday)to make the effort and consciously choose wisely...I want my size 10 jeans to fit comfortably again...HELL with size 10...I still would love to wear a size 8.
DON'T STOP BELIEVING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yes...I am BACK in CONTROL!!!!! : ) : )
Oct 10, 2010
I am soooo focused and haven't given in to the EVIL carb calling me in weeks. WOOHOO!!!!!!!! And that's not all. I bought a very inexpensive pedometer and my daily goal is a minimum of 10,000 steps. Suprised myself couple of days...busy work days...actually recorded 22,000+ steps for day. My unit is on 2nd floor...I NEVER use the elevator...stairs...every calorie burned counts. But wait...there's more....I actually have been taking 2 walks every day for past week and half. I have a VERY GOOD reason. We adopted the most BEAUTIFUL 2 yo old dog from the Min Pin Rescue. A friend fostered her for 3 weeks after owner surrender....I met her and KNEW I had to have her. She is permenantly attached to me every second of the day. She's starting to warm up to Ron. And Spawn of Satan...has been "tolerating" another dog. Doesn't go out of her way to play but she needs to get a reality check...NOT an only child/doggie any more. Know you have been the princess for 5 years...BUT you still are BUT theres another princess...yes there is PLENTY of love for you both.
Brooklyn is having some "pottying" issues...so thats the reason for the 2x day loooong walks. I'm trying to enlist Peaches help cause she has ALWAYS been the most AWESOME pottyer...LOL. Taking my girl to dog park too...more exercise for mom...that was how I actually convinced Ron into getting Brooklyn. Told him I needed to exercise so I take her to the doggie park often.
So...don't care what my motivation is...at least there IS motivation!!!!!!! Thank You Peaches and Brooklyn for keeping human mommy..."honest". I HEART my girlz...MUAH....
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Brooklyn is having some "pottying" issues...so thats the reason for the 2x day loooong walks. I'm trying to enlist Peaches help cause she has ALWAYS been the most AWESOME pottyer...LOL. Taking my girl to dog park too...more exercise for mom...that was how I actually convinced Ron into getting Brooklyn. Told him I needed to exercise so I take her to the doggie park often.
So...don't care what my motivation is...at least there IS motivation!!!!!!! Thank You Peaches and Brooklyn for keeping human mommy..."honest". I HEART my girlz...MUAH....
Ronnie(RNY)=acting like a 2yo having a TANTRUM!!!
Sep 11, 2010
OK..so I have been been making a VERY conscious effort to get back on track with my eating. And Ronnie(RNY pouch) has been acting like a pouty toddler going through the TERRIBLE TWOS!!!! For past couple of weeks Ronnie has been EXTREMELY cranky...NOT playing well with others...mainly ME!!!
This has happened before BUT usually only once and then back to normal. I haven't been able to eat any reheated food for over 2 weeks. Pouchy has been VERRRRRY GROUCHY and letting me know about every time I attempt to eat leftovers. Mind you when we eat out I still only eat half my meal and will eat the rest for lunch the next day!! NOPE!!! that ain't happening!!! Matter of fact...I just tried to eat some eggplant rollatini(the most AWESOME dish)..literally a bite and half(not even 2 bites)...it felt like I had eaten a LEAD weight. Not only that...I have been doubled over for last 15 minutes with the most HORRENDOUS stomach cramps!!
OK...OK...I'll listen...Ronnie is STILL(and always will be)...
THE BOSS OF ME!!!!!!!!!!
So while I do want to lose about 15-20 pounds (I WILL get to GOAL...I WILL get to GOAL) there HAS to be a better way to do it!! I am sooo waving the white flag and calling for a TRUCE.
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This has happened before BUT usually only once and then back to normal. I haven't been able to eat any reheated food for over 2 weeks. Pouchy has been VERRRRRY GROUCHY and letting me know about every time I attempt to eat leftovers. Mind you when we eat out I still only eat half my meal and will eat the rest for lunch the next day!! NOPE!!! that ain't happening!!! Matter of fact...I just tried to eat some eggplant rollatini(the most AWESOME dish)..literally a bite and half(not even 2 bites)...it felt like I had eaten a LEAD weight. Not only that...I have been doubled over for last 15 minutes with the most HORRENDOUS stomach cramps!!
OK...OK...I'll listen...Ronnie is STILL(and always will be)...
THE BOSS OF ME!!!!!!!!!!
So while I do want to lose about 15-20 pounds (I WILL get to GOAL...I WILL get to GOAL) there HAS to be a better way to do it!! I am sooo waving the white flag and calling for a TRUCE.
Lighting a Candle... I MIGHT have found an answer!!!!!
Aug 28, 2010
All I've been doing in my blog posts the past few months is been WHINING about my lack of will power and eating more CRAPPY CARBS!! I'm making the conscious effort to put the brakes on these behaviors.
OK I started doing something about a week ago...(it has to do with my afternoon snack) and OMG...WOW...what a difference. And NO I'm NOT sharing what I changed/found just yet...I want to give my little unscientific experiment a little more time before sharing
DO NOT TRY TO BRIBE IT OUT OF ME...WON'T WORK. I want to continue this "project" of mine til mid September and THEN I'll reveal what I've done AND IF it is the answer to end my CRAPPY CARB tangents.
0 comments
OK I started doing something about a week ago...(it has to do with my afternoon snack) and OMG...WOW...what a difference. And NO I'm NOT sharing what I changed/found just yet...I want to give my little unscientific experiment a little more time before sharing
DO NOT TRY TO BRIBE IT OUT OF ME...WON'T WORK. I want to continue this "project" of mine til mid September and THEN I'll reveal what I've done AND IF it is the answer to end my CRAPPY CARB tangents.
About Me
Las Vegas, NV
Location
26.6
BMI
Surgery
12/06/2007
Surgery Date
Oct 14, 2007
Member Since
