Catherine-Mo
My journey
Jun 06, 2015
Well, it has been almost 3 weeks since my RNY surgery. I have had no nausea which is a blessing. I am healing up and able to move more freely without pain. I have yet to be motivated enough to exercise but I will get there. The biggest issue is my feelings. I have had alot of anger come up toward my husband and feel unsupported. His job is relocating us to another state and I am not happy about it. I agreed prior to surgery while I wasn't truly connected to my feelings and now I feel overwhelmed by the idea of moving. I enjoy my job here. I have good friends and like my house. I feel like this move is all about him and when I express my needs he is not willing to meet them. I feel like 13 years ago when I met him I settled due to feeling like nobody else would love me due to my weight. I feel guilty for saying that but it is the truth. I have tried to express some of my concerns but nothing really changes so I get tot he place of what is the point. Then I think about finding someone else. I don't want to go that route until I know for sure there is no hope for my marriage. I am far from that place. Sometimes I feel like if I had an affair maybe that would be a wake up call to my spouse how serious this is but that is the wrong reason to cheat-if there is ever a reason. Maybe losing weight is messing with my emotions and this will even out after a while. I don't want to make any hasty decisions but I want to explore who I am and what I really want. My whole life has been about losing weight and now that the focus is not food I have no idea of who I am and what I think. What makes me happy is the million dollar question. This journey is going to be interesting!!