Update

Oct 10, 2015

Things are moving fast in life but lots of bumps which makes it frustrating.  We found a house in Oklahoma we like and are trying to make a fully informed decision if we should move forward.  Trying to get information is challenging.  I don't really like our realtor but my husband wants to stay with him.  I truly only want to do God's will.  Our house here in MO has lost value since we bought it and I don't want to go through that in OK.  My husband does not seem overly concerned about that.     Our house here is not selling as of yet.  That isn't a bad thing but could be in a few weeks.  My hope is to move by the beginning of December.  I really like my job here but I can't transfer so I would have to find another job.  I'm nervous about that.  I love doing counseling in a Christian setting.    My relationship with my husband is good and the other guy is a non issue.  Amazing how things change.  Never crossed any boundaries which I praise God for.  Now I can't even bleeive I considered it.  I feel better about myself and view myself as attractive and don't seek as much approval as in the past.  Don't get me wrong I still like affirmations!!  Right now I have too much other stuff going on.  My eating overall has been OK.  I am noticiong a trend that a few days before my period I have cravings but then they go away.  I am staying away from sugar and white flour for the most part.  I learned from whan I had the lapband that eating them is a slippery slope for me.   I was doing great with conistently walking but now I have gotten out of the habit.  I know I need to do it but don't.  I blame it on lack of energy but I don't think that is the truth.  I just don't FEEL like it.  The problem is it creates lower energy and more depression when I don't exercise.  I have to do it because I'm worth it!!  Also, I pray while I walk so that limits my time with God which is a BIG deal.  I truly don't want to do anything out of God's will.  I haven't been reading the book on shame because after I get off work I am focusing on house stuff.  I don't have time to do everything.  My food issues have been over eating almonds which in the scope of life is not a big deal.   I am only 5 months out and don't want to stop losing.  I am at about 238 which is the lowest I got with the band.  For many years of my life I weighed between 220-230 so I am wondering if I will stall in that weight range.   I'm still obese even though I feel skinny!!  Life is an adventure.

0 Comments