Renee3846

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Wow it has been 6 months since I posted last. I have backslided since then in my weightloss but I am back on track and ready to give it another go. It's funny how my brain works. I guess I figured if I did not post and track my weight then it does not count. I am determined not to get where I was before..I am searching for and finding again the fire in my belly to forge forward, start losing again (which I have over 3 pounds in 2 weeks) and use the wonderful tool of my vsg to work for me again as it did in the beginning. Life happens, old habits creep back in so slowly and silently that you do not even know that they are there until it hits you in the head like a brick..then it's like wow...how easy it is to go back to old ways....a path I want to never go down again. 2010 had some trying times and disappoiments but I have made up my mind that they will not effect me like they would before I had my vsg where I would console myself with food. I am working on letting things that normally would upset me and set me off to letting myself realize I can not control everything and take more things with a  grain of salt..hard to do but working on it!! 2011..I welcome you with open arms and the challenges you will send my way!! I am ready...bring it on!!!

It's amazing when you start to get back to your life after surgery, just how easy it is to go back to the old comfort habits. I have gained gained, and this is something I did not want to happen yet I am aloowing myself to go back to old habits again. I figured getting back on here and logging it hopefully will wake me back up and remind why I ahd surgery in the first place. Not in a million years do I want to go back to the way I was...
The farther out I get from surgery and back to life, I am losing sight of this. I have a had a lot goig on personally, this is where excuses come in and take over, and reassure me that it is okay to have that cookie, or cake etc. to make everythong all better. I know I have it in me, to get back on track and get it together again. is is why I am back on here and putting it out there for all to see. I am human, I am making mistakes, I am recognizing that and I am going to fight the demons in my brain!

Well, I finally had a loss again! One of my goals is to attend water aerobics 4 times a week, so far so goood! It really does feel good and I feel stronger. Now I need to have a little talk with myself about my nibbling, it is not doing me a bit of good. I have been taking in more carbs, and with no surprise, the scale is sensing that too. For sure the farther I get out from surgery, the old habits want to slowly creep back in, under the radar, undetected, unnoticed. Now that I am more aware of that, and admitting to it, I am going to try so very hard to make better choices! I have come way to far healthwise, not to make this work to the fullest potential. I was given the wonderful tool as an assisant, now I need to use it how it was intended!

As of 1/13/10 I was taken off my high blood pressure medication! I am going to monitor at home, but the stats have been so good she said lets get off of them and see how it goes! I have been taking these meds. for over 16 years..wow!! That was the last medication I have been taking since surgery. Reversed high blood pressure, diabetes and sleep apnea, extensive knee pain (still these but soooo much better)...amazing! I feel better then I have in some many years..life is good! I made it to 2 sessions of water aerobics this week...aiming for 3-4 a week. I will get there! Shoulder finally on the mend, still in PT but going pretty good. Started working full time this past week...tired but feels good to be productive again.

Wow, I cannot believe 2010 is here already. I finally just had a loss in over 10 weeks. I have had some speed bumps lately but again, I am ready to tackle them and get going again! I still cannot believe how great I feel EVERY day with the weight I have lost so far and not at goal yet! Almost on a daily basis, I find myseld doing things that when I was at the higher weight, I would have not even considered doing. I am so looking forward to summer, I am ready to get to the lake for some fishing and swimming! My husband and I have been going out dancing recently, something we have not done in over 10 years! New Year, I welcome you with open arms, bring it on!

Okay, I am running out of excuses. It is now time to buck up and get back on track. I was using the excuse about my shoulder surgery. That time has past and now I have gained back 5 pounds in 10 weeks..this is not acceptable. I have been allowing myself to nibble throughout the day on things that have no food value. I told my family to say goodbye to anything in the house that our bodies do not need for nutrition. I have found through this holiday season that I am for sure a nervous eater. Thank goodness the hoildays have almost past and I can give myself a swift kick in the rear and get back on track. I weigh every Sunday, next week I will have a loss..no excuses!!

Here I am 13 months post-op and still pretty much at a stand still for weight loss. I had shoulder surgery 7 weeks ago and feel that it has really put a wrench in my losing. I have not been able to do water areobics which I feel was really my vice to keep on track. I have found myself really going off track and since I do not get the monthly visits with my surgeon, I feel sort of alone, almost in a daze. I need to find my way back to all the reasons why I had surgery. Sure I know why, but I need to make it priorty in my life again. It is easy to give up and make excuses (such as I just did). Since I spent 5 weeks at home, my routine got out of whack which in turn made it easy to make wrong choices. I guess now that I am blogging about it I am ready to make that change yet again. I actually did quite well with the whole Thanksgiving dinner day. Now if I just can keep it up, and come back and read this when I am slipping.

On 10/8/09 I had to have surgery on a torn rotarcuff on my right shoulder. I am recovery well but it has been slow and my weight loss is no exsistant.I have not been able to do much as far as excersise but I hope to start next week...very slowly with water aroebics again, I guess the positive is I have not really gained. Post surgery, I probably would be up 10 pounds by now. I have also noticed that since I am no longer having my monthly visits with Dr. Trotter, I am letting myself slide more. I am still drinking a protein drink once a day (with a miss here and there, not often) with added advance protein. I feel great healthwise but feel I need to be getting active again. I am worried I am losing muscle. Being a year out, I feel fairly confident that I know what I need to do continued success but the monthly meetings really made me accountable to my actions and non-actions.

Wow..I sit here writing this and can not believe it has already been one year today that I had my Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy surgery. I have come so far in the past year..far more then I would have ever imagined. Aside from the total weight loss of 119 pounds to date, my health is better then ever! I only have one more medication I am trying to get off of for my hypertension (blood pressure). I do far more physically then I have in years. I get out more publically instead of staying home because I know that I can now fit in the seats, or walk to where we need to get to. It is kinda weird people calling me skinny lol. I like the sound of it, I am not complaining but still kinda weird lol. I am still seeing myself as a lttle larger then I am. When I grab something to try on, I am usually off a size or two too large. That is an extremly great feeling to have to go smaller! My new passion is clothes shopping now, a far cry from the days I used to dread to go clothes shopping because I would grab something to try on, be too small and stand in the dressing room looking at myself in the mirror and crying at the image in the mirror. Who was that person in the mirror, that peson that was so hurt deepy and asking herself how did I ever get to that point. Just dredging up those old feelings/thoughts is bringing tears to eyes as I type this. I am very proud of myself of how I finally decided to get my life and health back no what what it took to get it. I could not go on living that sad and painful life. I have a wonderful family that reminds almost daily how proud they are of me and how good I am looking. I had right shoudler surgery on 10/8/09, just less then 2 weeks ago. I feel I would have not come out of it as well if I was still at an extreme obese size. I have limited use of my right arm, but without all the extra weight to push and get around, I have been coping fantastically. I am not going to sugar coat and say it has been a walk in the park the past year but the triumphs far out weigh the struggles! I would do the weightloss surgery all over again, no queastions asked! I want to thank the great support group that I meet with at least once a month. These ladies are an inspiration and helps make the journey more enjoyable! One last thanks to Dr. Trotter for his wonderful medical talent and caring about the health and well being of his patients, I wish him the best on his new practice in South Dakota.

Wow..I have been sooo busy at work that I am starting to not take care of myself. I am not getting my water in, I am so tired after woking overtime that I am not going to water areobics, and I have been snacking more. I know how important all this is and I need to start making myself priority.